DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[ladyfirefighter36]

Had responded for assistance with neighboring department. Pt. was not well, awaiting transplant. We had 2 intermediates on board. Other unit had at least 1 intermediate and a couple of basics. Offered to with other unit to assist. They responded they didn't need us. We are enroute back to the station and we hear the intermediate call dispatch for a paramedic to meet them enroute. Dispatch wanted to know the situation. Intermediate states that if patient codes or goes out he will be helpless in the back of his unit.

If you are helpless, then get the **** out of the squad. This was broadcast countywide. I would never dream of transmitting that kind of information. What did you learn CPR for.

[scootyboy2]

Friend of mine had this call. "Yes I just saw a car hit a female, it must have been doing 30" No need to come lights and sirens though" they did anyway

[Guest Beegers]

"Unit 12 respond to 123 XYZ St for a singing santa claus"

"MICCOM to Unit ### respond to 456 ABC St for unconscious complaining of chest pain"

Then there is my dispatcher at work giving us a hospital discharge, trying to spell the name..."Z as in THOMAS, double M as in NANCY, E - Y"....uh, Can you spell that again? "P as in THOMAS, double E as in NANCY, E - Y"....uh,yea sure Nino 10-4. Patient got a good laugh out of that.

We transported an african american psych one night...kept sayign we were white cracker honkeys, part of the clan and the mob, and that we was gonna kill her....After we finally cleared and were back in city borders..."323 to communications..." "Go 323".... "The cracker box will be back in the city!"

[P1]

...please respond to an 84 YO female having a cesar :roll:

[HF-EMS]

one night, one of our crack dispatch staff was on the tones came over the radio and we heard "SUNY to HF, you may have a call. Standby we are looking for your patient." about 5 min later we heard "SUNY to HF, you DO INDEED have a patient.

The other night the tones dropped and much to my surprise, "SUNY to HF, need a FULL CREW, A FULL CREW (As opposed to all those calls we do with just a driver) to respond to ******* hall, party will meet you outside, pt states he ingested syrup of ipecac, concerned that he's not vomiting."

[akflightmedic]

Partner 1 to partner 2: Where do you want to go for lunch?

Partner 2: Chinese?

Partner 1: No, I always get the sh its when we eat there.

Partner 2: Lets go to Arbys!! They always give us 50 % off too.

Partner 1: Great Idea, I am a little low on cash as well. Plus, thats where that hot chick works the counter. Man she is sweet.

Partner 2: Hell yeah, man she is smoking hot. I would do ....this and t...that, etc.

Phone rings in the background...

Partner 1: Hello..Hi Chief, whats up? Yes, we are almost at Arby's, how did you know? Oh shit! Oops I mean...

After mic is unkeyed, partner 1 says to partner 2: Umm, we have to go HQ after we grab our lunch. Chief wants to talk to us.

Yes people, I was there...one of these clowns was me. I had the mic laying on my seat and evidently my leg was depressing the key. This was pre 800 mhz days, so it was broadcast all over the county. Everyone heard it.

[SingleLovingLife]

You have to love living in the south...read with a strong southern accent!

Response to dispatch for a vehicle tag number:

"1...2...D...as in dawg...4...5...6...K...as in...Krystal!"

Guess we know where he likes to go for lunch! LOL

[Punisher]

Partner 1 to partner 2: Where do you want to go for lunch?

Partner 2: Chinese?

Partner 1: No, I always get the sh its when we eat there.

Partner 2: Lets go to Arbys!! They always give us 50 % off too.

Partner 1: Great Idea, I am a little low on cash as well. Plus, thats where that hot chick works the counter. Man she is sweet.

Partner 2: Hell yeah, man she is smoking hot. I would do ....this and t...that, etc.

Phone rings in the background...

Partner 1: Hello..Hi Chief, whats up? Yes, we are almost at Arby's, how did you know? Oh Ca Ca! Oops I mean...

After mic is unkeyed, partner 1 says to partner 2: Umm, we have to go HQ after we grab our lunch. Chief wants to talk to us.

Yes people, I was there...one of these clowns was me. I had the mic laying on my seat and evidently my leg was depressing the key. This was pre 800 mhz days, so it was broadcast all over the county. Everyone heard it.

Could be worse, before Rural/Metro left Terre Haute, IN two of their medics were severely reprimanded because of a stuck mic and an "inappropriate" conversation. The topic: The blowjob the one medic had received from the dispatcher the preceding night.

[MedicNorth]

"Dispatch, this is Pumper X"

"Pumper X, this is Dispatch, go ahead."

"Dispatch, would you please call xxx -xxxx and tell my wife I forgot to take the roast out of the freezer?"

"Pumper x, Say again?"

[emtkelley]

As heard in this neck of the woods in corn country:

okey dokey is an acceptable means of saying 10-4

and directions to a call out here is the same as saying "that fire is where the old Johnson house was. You go down that one road with the rooster mailbox, hack a right and go to the top of the hill where the cow stands on Tuesday.

While listening to the radio one night I heard the Chief tell his good ol boys to quit F****** walking over each other on the radio.

I s*** you not....