Another death determination FAIL

[Chief1C]

Police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi

Holy shit, I know that guy. Small world.

[Kiwiology]

Seriously how hard is it to recognize life/death? I know a hundred hours isn't a lot of time but we're not talking an issue of obviously dead (non-salvageable) vs. workable arrest, we're talking alive vs. dead. For f**k's sake if we can't get this one right every arrest is going to be worked, head attached or not.

Word of advice for determining death:

1) Are they awake? If so, not dead. (Good so far? Let's move on.)

2) Are they moving? If so, not dead. (Still with me?)

3) Do they respond to yelling or pinching? If so, not dead. (What we call verbal and painful stimuli. Technical I know.)

4) Are they breathing? If so, not dead. (Now this get's complicated; make sure the airway is open first.)

5) Do they have a pulse? If so not dead. (Now, make sure you've not checked with your thumb AND actually know where the carotid is. TV not withstanding, the wrist is probably not your best bet.)

6) Do they have injuries incompatible with life? (Note that this part comes after everything else. The bad boo-boo to the head with the gross stuff coming out may mean dead, but not until you've checked all of the above.) If so, consider the following:

- Do they have a pupillary response?(That means, do they change size when you shine that light you carry around at them)

- Is their monitored HR zero? You know, Asystole? (That's the dramatic flat line that usually cues commercials on TV.)

Hopefully this list may help you. (Whoever "you," future defendant may be.) It's obvious you're likely too stupid/ignorant to continue in a career where people's lives may be affected. It is my hope that with this list your inevitable failure and exit from my profession will not cost anyone their life.

Please ensure you collect your burger king application on the way out.

Kind regards,

- Competent, Professional Paramedics.

Edit: Edited for spelling/grammar. Also, apparently I get snippy when I type with an eye ache. (Yes I said eye ache. Long story.)

Dude that's funny

I agree 100%