One I thought was cute....

[itku2er]

A Welsh Hill Farmer is overseeing his herd in a remote valley when

suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban

sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, 'If

I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,

will you give me a calf?'

The farmer looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his

peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,

connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA

page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation

system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to

another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution

photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop

and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image

has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL

database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his

Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he

prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized

HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, 'You

have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the farmer.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused

as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the farmer says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly

what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You work for the British Government', says the farmer.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the farmer.

'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid

for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used

all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for,

you tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't

know a thing about cows.... this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.'

ok I am confused I posted this but it never made the latest discussion but I posted to an old thread and it was there what is up with that?

[FireMedic65]

I lol'd thanks Terri

[itku2er]

the sad part is that it could be true lol sd

[joesph]

A state highway patrolman was cruising down a country road raising way to much dust. He spied a farmer out in the field knelt over a cow that was laying on its side in obvious distress. The patrolman runs up to see what happened when he sees the farmer pulling on some chains wrapped around two calves feet coming out of the cow. The patrolman kneels down in the muck and helps pull the calf out. The Farmer stimulated the calf to breath and thanks the patrolman."I don't know if I would have saved that calf if you hadn't come along". The patrolman wipes out his citation book and says "no problem sir and can you tell me how fast that calf was going when it hit that cow?"

[Richard B the EMT]

Gee, that LEO must have been the child, who, on visiting a dairy farm and found a bunch of milk bottles, tan to his mother, and said, "I think I just found a cow's nest".

Same child, on being told that the pointy things on the cow's head, were horns, when the cow mooed.

"Hey mister, which one of those horns did the cow just blow?"