What to do when your partner talks down to you and makes you look bad?

[spenac]

That is quite an ignorant statement. Ability to walk versus the risk taken while walking are two different things. The ability to walk is not the only criteria used to necessitate the use of transfer truck.

That is only if the chart goes with you. Sometimes, they have to copy the information directly from the hospital chart, which should not be leaving the hospital.

He never said it was a red light, but he did say the camera flashed. I suspect it was a red light, but unless we were there, we will not know. All we can do is rely on his word.

That is kind of a low blow bro. This guy comes to our forum and writes a very decent post, and you come back with this shyte. Good job.

Wow you are in a rude mood today.

[emtz]

Crotchity,

1. Welcome to the private companies where insurance fraud always happens and we have no say in it. I don't work for 911, I work in the privates which is 98% Bull**** calls.

2. Um we are not allowed to take the "chart" with us, only discharge papers and the ones belonging to that patient didn't have all that I needed.

3. Were u paying attention? I said I don't drive, I usually tech. SHE, my partner, is the driver cuz she prefers to drive. I did nothing wrong and I am not incompetent. She clearly is stressed and is taking it out on me.

1. The question would be why are you transporting a patient who can walk, that is insurance fraud. It is stupid to use your back to move an ambulatory patient, or to ask someone that is elderly to slide side to side when they can stand and pivot.

2. You are transporting the patient from the hospital, there is no emergency, you can read the chart on the way to the residence and get all the info you need.

3. You drove through a red-light, and the camera went off ---duuuuhhhhhhhh

Sounds like she is just responding to your incompetence. No one can make you look stupid, only you can do that; dont blame her for noticing.

[Lone Star]

1. The question would be why are you transporting a patient who can walk, that is insurance fraud. It is stupid to use your back to move an ambulatory patient, or to ask someone that is elderly to slide side to side when they can stand and pivot.

2. You are transporting the patient from the hospital, there is no emergency, you can read the chart on the way to the residence and get all the info you need.

3. You drove through a red-light, and the camera went off ---duuuuhhhhhhhh

Sounds like she is just responding to your incompetence. No one can make you look stupid, only you can do that; dont blame her for noticing.

That's the kind of attitude that would have me considering which side of the clipboard to whack you with first!

[Mateo_1387]

We tend to get along very well, laugh, tell jokes, and what not. We tell each other secrets, she is not a 'rat' or a 'boss's pet' in any sense of the word. She gets stressed easily and tends to shout when she's upset about someone or something. So when she's telling me about someone who upset her, it may look (to someone else) like she's shouting at me or upset at me when she's just telling a story. She has a lot going on in her life. So do I, the difference is I don't react the way she does.

The problem is this... sometimes on some calls here and there, she tends to get sarcastic or say something embarrassing if I forgot to do something or didn't notice something. It could be the smallest things too. Like if I ask her something that was already answered for me by someone else but PERHAPS I was focusing on some other important detail and didn't get that one, then she'll say something to the effect of "Um, yeah, that's what she just said... like 3 times, wake up". You know what I mean?

...

I really hate it because what she does brings back memories of when I was growing up - I used to be the shy guy whom people would pick on and de-edify or try to make me look stupid or walk all over me. Think what you want, but those memories traumatized me, so with my partner saying similar things to me is not gonna aide my recovery any sooner. Top it all off, the last thing I want is to be de-edified and talked down to after my mother whom I love so much dies, my childhood best friend kills himself, and my father who doesn't care abandons me for some younger woman - ALL within 12 MONTHS. Now ask yourself, after going through all of that, would you want your partner to talk down to you and be mean?

The tricky thing is when all of this is not going on, when there's no patients to deal with, we get along EXTREMELY well, it's unbelievable.

Any advice/insight?

Emtz, I was going to reply early on, but realized I needed to think about it first. Some of what I say will echo Fiznat (gotta give credit where it is due).

First and foremost, as Fiz said, confidence really does go a long ways. Unfortunately, too many EMT's have a dog eat dog attitude when dealing with others who are or appear to be weak, shy, new, young, and unknowing. Your post indicates to me you have some deeper personal issues you need to work out before you can fully work out your problem with your coworker. Maybe dealing with your coworker will help you to start dealing with those deeper personal issues.

Your coworker is probably satisfying her leader status by belittling you. I am not going to say to start a war against her actions but rather stand up for yourself. When you stand up for yourself others will realize they cannot 'get one over' on ya. Some of these things are just skills that come with time. I cannot say I have been there, done that, and received a T-shirt for it, but I do know it takes time to hone the skills.

It is nice to have someone you can work with and be friends with, but you have to remember that at work you should first be a professional. Standing up for yourself might not make you fit in with everyone, but that is not a reason to be at work. Do not let that 'work friendship' get in the way of your self respect.

Good luck to ya bro. Let us know how it works out for you. Also, want to say good job on your first post. Just word to the wise, get a feel for the site before you start going after people too much.

Just sayin'...

Matty

[Pro_EMT]

I will be honest I didnt read your whole post, but, I will tell you what I was told when I first got my license years back. An old timer said good you passed, now keep your mouth shut for the next three years and watch what others do, listen to many, trust few and if you dont know what to do... go by the book. And if the "Senior EMT" wants to talk sh*t, than she should have stepped in corrected the situation because she/he has more experience and should know better, second, if you look bad than she/he looks bad which in turns makes you, your partner, and your company look incompetent. Good luck and lay low for the next couple years..

[FormerEMSLT297]

I would either tell her where to go, or

FIND ANOTHER PARTNER.

[HERBIE1]

1. The question would be why are you transporting a patient who can walk, that is insurance fraud. It is stupid to use your back to move an ambulatory patient, or to ask someone that is elderly to slide side to side when they can stand and pivot.

2. You are transporting the patient from the hospital, there is no emergency, you can read the chart on the way to the residence and get all the info you need.

3. You drove through a red-light, and the camera went off ---duuuuhhhhhhhh

Sounds like she is just responding to your incompetence. No one can make you look stupid, only you can do that; dont blame her for noticing.

One comment:

To your point number one- it's only insurance fraud if you document that this person is nonambulatory when they can actually walk.

Besdies, maybe the person is unsteady, can only stand for a moment, or trips and falls? Now you have some explaining to do as to why you made a patient ambulate when it was not safe to do so.

[emtz]

One comment:

To your point number one- it's only insurance fraud if you document that this person is nonambulatory when they can actually walk.

Besdies, maybe the person is unsteady, can only stand for a moment, or trips and falls? Now you have some explaining to do as to why you made a patient ambulate when it was not safe to do so.

You know, I've grown really tired of this insurance fraud crap. They didn't even teach me about this at my school, I found out once I got in that an ambulance can also be a "Cabulance" in the privates. I really hate that. Greedy companies man, friggin greed.

Emtz, I was going to reply early on, but realized I needed to think about it first. Some of what I say will echo Fiznat (gotta give credit where it is due).

First and foremost, as Fiz said, confidence really does go a long ways. Unfortunately, too many EMT's have a dog eat dog attitude when dealing with others who are or appear to be weak, shy, new, young, and unknowing. Your post indicates to me you have some deeper personal issues you need to work out before you can fully work out your problem with your coworker. Maybe dealing with your coworker will help you to start dealing with those deeper personal issues.

Your coworker is probably satisfying her leader status by belittling you. I am not going to say to start a war against her actions but rather stand up for yourself. When you stand up for yourself others will realize they cannot 'get one over' on ya. Some of these things are just skills that come with time. I cannot say I have been there, done that, and received a T-shirt for it, but I do know it takes time to hone the skills.

It is nice to have someone you can work with and be friends with, but you have to remember that at work you should first be a professional. Standing up for yourself might not make you fit in with everyone, but that is not a reason to be at work. Do not let that 'work friendship' get in the way of your self respect.

Good luck to ya bro. Let us know how it works out for you. Also, want to say good job on your first post. Just word to the wise, get a feel for the site before you start going after people too much.

Just sayin'...

Matty

I agree about your theory on my co-worker. It's a very strange relationship you know, because first shes telling me I'm one of her favorite partners and that she loves working with me. Great. Next min, the stuff I already told u about happens. It makes me wonder how she truly feels about me. As far as deeper issues are concerned, well I have mentioned in my initial post that I've gone through a very rough time over the past few years especially the past 12 months - My best friend killed himself a few months after his mother died, then my mom dies a few months later, then my dad who didnt give a crap was already seeing a younger woman who moved in the old house I grew up in and has taken over everything and even turned my dad against me so now I have no parents basically, I was married to an evil witch for 3 years who tricked me into marrying her to get her green card cleared now I'm divorced but it messed me up in high school (couple that with my mom in the process of dying of 6 years). I've gone through a very bad mental holocaust so-to-speak from the early 2000s up until now and you can't even imagine how hard it has broken my spirit (and yes that includes my self confidence).

Thats why whenever crap like this happens to me at work, I feel like the last person in the world whom anyone wants to mess with and I wanna show that to people so bad because after going through all that I went through, I'm really not in the mood for name calling, belittling, and bulls*** of that nature, but at the same time I don't wanna lose my job by saying the wrong words so that creates a very very gray area that is hard to interpret when it comes down to telling your co-workers off. The recent deaths of my mom and my best friend are always in the back of my mind, whether or not I am directly thinking about them, I feel like I am in hell. Like you said and I said before, I do have deeper issues.

[FireMedic65]

Happened to me. I confronted them later in the privacy of the station. No public, no patient, no hospital staff. Very unprofessional to get into things like that when others are around, possibly even other co-workers.

[Mateo_1387]

Thats why whenever crap like this happens to me at work, I feel like the last person in the world whom anyone wants to mess with and I wanna show that to people so bad because after going through all that I went through, I'm really not in the mood for name calling, belittling, and bulls*** of that nature, but at the same time I don't wanna lose my job by saying the wrong words so that creates a very very gray area that is hard to interpret when it comes down to telling your co-workers off. The recent deaths of my mom and my best friend are always in the back of my mind, whether or not I am directly thinking about them, I feel like I am in hell. Like you said and I said before, I do have deeper issues.

Bro, just remember, there is nothing wrong with seeking some professional help on those issues. Maybe seeing a counselor would help.

Good luck !

Matty