Doctor Doctor I need some info.

mrsbull · October 9, 2009

I got this in an e mail. Thought it was cute.

> Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is

> this true?

> A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on

> exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live

> longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want

> live longer? Take nap.

>

> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and

> corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient

> mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken.

> Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork

> chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

>

> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

> A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That

> means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that

> way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

>

> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

> A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have

> two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

>

> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular

> exercise program?

> A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!

>

> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

> A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting

> more vegetables be bad for you?

> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

> middle?

> A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should

> only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

>

> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

> A: You crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best

> feel-good food around!

>

> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

> A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

>

> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

> A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

>

> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had

> about food and diets.

>

> AND.....

>

> For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on

> nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those

> conflicting nutritional studies:

>

> 1. The Japanese eat very little fat

>