For EMT / Paramedic moms

[Lisa O]

I was wondering how the mothers (or fathers) in here handle the demands of work / school / and having a family? I have a few questions to ask.

How old were your kids when you started your EMS career?

Did it get easier as they got older?

How supportive is your significant other? Are they in EMS?

Do your children hold any resentment towards your long hours / missed holidays or do they understand / think it's cool?

I know it will all fall into place. But I will not close my eyes to the fact that it will probably be a rocky start. My kids have had me home for the last year and a half, my husband being the sole provider for the family now. Prior to that, I worked in a 9-5 office job M-F. I was close to their schools, and my boss had no problems when I had to leave for something important. I have a great family unit that can and will step in for me to help with the kids when the time comes. I am hoping that I am doing this at a better time in my life. One child is soon to be 13, the other 10. I will have teenagers by the time I am done with all my schooling. I just wanted to hear how others do it. I know its possible. They will be out of the house (crossing fingers) and starting their paths as I am getting into my prime in EMS. On paper, it seems perfect...lol

[SassyMedic2B]

Well I am a single mother of a 12 yr old and a 6 yr old! My boyfriend supports me but he lives an hr away so we only see each other on the weekends! No family support at all! So your lucky on that part! It will fall into place! I have been volunteering pretty much every night in my town for our ambulance to keep it in service for the past 1 1/2 years! Good experience though! My oldest watches my youngest if I get called out which is nice but while i'm at school or doing clinical I have a hard time to get them from point A to point B without totally messing up my 12 yr old life! You know volleyball/basketball practices and so on! Their dad helps sometimes but can't count on him! My kids are supportive and worries about me when my pager goes off on certain calls but we talk about how my safety is #1 and that fire and police are always there if needed! I wouldn't say my girls resent me for the holidays and long hours and not being able to leave town while on call but I do think they get annoyed! But, they know mommy is out saving lives and deal with it! My girls look up to me for going back to school and on some nights we do our homework together and it shows both of them they need math and those english skills in real life and to study hard to get them now rather then at 31! LOL! Hope this helps! Communication with everyone is always GOOD!!! Keep the line open!!!

I was wondering how the mothers (or fathers) in here handle the demands of work / school / and having a family? I have a few questions to ask.

How old were your kids when you started your EMS career?

Did it get easier as they got older?

How supportive is your significant other? Are they in EMS?

Do your children hold any resentment towards your long hours / missed holidays or do they understand / think it's cool?

I know it will all fall into place. But I will not close my eyes to the fact that it will probably be a rocky start. My kids have had me home for the last year and a half, my husband being the sole provider for the family now. Prior to that, I worked in a 9-5 office job M-F. I was close to their schools, and my boss had no problems when I had to leave for something important. I have a great family unit that can and will step in for me to help with the kids when the time comes. I am hoping that I am doing this at a better time in my life. One child is soon to be 13, the other 10. I will have teenagers by the time I am done with all my schooling. I just wanted to hear how others do it. I know its possible. They will be out of the house (crossing fingers) and starting their paths as I am getting into my prime in EMS. On paper, it seems perfect...lol

[itku2er]

I was wondering how the mothers (or fathers) in here handle the demands of work / school / and having a family? I have a few questions to ask.

How old were your kids when you started your EMS career?

Did it get easier as they got older?

How supportive is your significant other? Are they in EMS?

Do your children hold any resentment towards your long hours / missed holidays or do they understand / think it's cool?

I know it will all fall into place. But I will not close my eyes to the fact that it will probably be a rocky start. My kids have had me home for the last year and a half, my husband being the sole provider for the family now. Prior to that, I worked in a 9-5 office job M-F. I was close to their schools, and my boss had no problems when I had to leave for something important. I have a great family unit that can and will step in for me to help with the kids when the time comes. I am hoping that I am doing this at a better time in my life. One child is soon to be 13, the other 10. I will have teenagers by the time I am done with all my schooling. I just wanted to hear how others do it. I know its possible. They will be out of the house (crossing fingers) and starting their paths as I am getting into my prime in EMS. On paper, it seems perfect...lol

When I started in EMS many moons ago I was still murdered errr married and that was a chore in itself I had no support from my then husband. But after my divorce I put myself through LPN school then RN school years later. My Mom and Sister were the biggest supporters I had besides my boys. But if you want something bad enough you make the sacrifices and you do it. I am the type of person that when someone tells me NO that makes me that much more determined to do it just to say F U. The best advice I can give on the kids part is this include them take them to the squad show them around let them see your work place. Kids are smarter and do adjust well when they are included in the whole realm of things.

Just keep the communication field open. Communication the key in any relationship no matter what. Good Luck Lisa

[Happiness]

3 boys ages 2 7 10 and they made great patients to practice on. The liked to be envolved and learned cpr out of it. It got easier as in no need to have a sitter on call but they did discover that i would be gone for at least a hour and i did come home to the youngest crying often or the neighbours breaking up the older two and oh ya balsa wood in an X over the hole in the door. Ya boys will be boys. They are proud of me being a paramedic even to this day.

lived with my boyfriend (now husband) he was wishy washy over the whole thing and still is. If he didnt take the kids my friends did. He isnt in EMS but is a VFF so he does have some understanding of what i go through

[bobswife]

Lisa,

I am coming into EMS at the ripe age of 43 with a 14, 12, and 8 year old as well as an active duty husband who is away for most of the year. My family is behind me 100%....well, the 8 year old did try to forbid my clinicals on Fridays, but otherwise has been pretty supportive. I just finished my EMT-B course and TN EMT-IV a few weeks ago. I am in job search mode right now, but am trying to work around the kids. Thankfully, my parents have stepped in to help when I have to be away. The kids have enjoyed learning alongside of me (they were a big help as trauma "patients") and have celebrated each little milestone, good grades, etc along the way. My husband has been incredibly encouraging - he realizes that I have found my passion. I want to go on to Paramedic school so I am sure we are going to be testing the waters with greater demands on my time. I am thankful that there are programs in the area that are flexible enough to make it happen.

Best of luck to you!

Leanne

[Lisa O]

Thank you guys for taking the time to share with me. I appreciate it very much.

Things always pop in my head when I drive the kids to and from school, and this was one of them from today My neighbor used to be an EMT about 15+ years ago, and misses it very much. When we were talking about my classes I told her she should go for it. She looked down and said she wishes she could, but that its just 'not a mommy type of job'. It struck me as odd, but just took it as its not her thing anymore.

[EMS49393]

How old were your kids when you started your EMS career?

I was already full-swing into my career when I got pregnant. So was his donor. Long story short, my parents did the lions share of work helping with my son. They still do.

Did it get easier as they got older?

No, it's harder. One of the major reasons I'm trying to change careers is because I'm tired of missing holidays, weekends, and nights with him. I've missed 10 years of my one and only child's life. Because of my age, I will probably never have another child.

How supportive is your significant other? Are they in EMS?

My son's donor jumped ship six months into my pregnancy. Apparently, nurses that are not pregnant are much more attractive then EMT's that are pregnant. His loss, my family's gain. My new husband is a paramedic. He is very supportive. He is my son's Dad.

Do your children hold any resentment towards your long hours / missed holidays or do they understand / think it's cool?

He doesn't resent it, but he doesn't think it's cool. I make it a point to celebrate the holidays full scale, even if it's a day or two off from the real holiday. He doesn't seem to mind getting two sets of presents on Christmas. He's an awesome kid with a fantastic and huge supportive family.

I spend as much time with my son as I can. I'm at a point in my career that I only have to work one job, and I work an average of 84 hours biweekly. I rarely work overtime, and I refuse to get another job. We steer clear of expensive hobbies and habits and live a very comfortable life including a big vacation every year. My kid is pretty open with me. There have been occasions when he'd let me know how mad he was that I picked up an overtime shift. I just decided it wasn't worth it anymore.

[HERBIE1]

I was already in the business for about 10 years when I met my now wife. I got a step son- immediate family, and we had 2 more girls, now 10 and nearly 13. My wife is in education- administration at a university, so she has nothing to do with this business. You'll hear positives and negatives about relationships within the business.

I had dated people in the business and outside, and I have to say it really depends on the person. How accepting are they to a spouse who works hours other than 9-5 and is often gone all night, or for an entire 24 hour period? How flexible and empathetic are they? Do you want to talk about the business 24/7, or do you want a break from it? What are your other interests, hobbies, and ambitions?

I think the fact that I was already in the business when I met my wife helped- she KNEW what she was getting into. We are a different breed- irreverent, generally outgoing, and risk takers, and a spouse needs to not only accept that, but understand and embrace it. It's part of who we are and why we do this job. My wife still thinks I am insane. LOL

The kids understand about dad's schedule- it's all they know. The positive in this situation is because I work a 24 hr platoon schedule, I am around during the day for school activities, to be a chaperon for field trips, be active with school issues, after school activities, etc and when they were infants, I was Mr. Mom- still am, I guess. I know all their teachers and they know me, and am on a first name basis with the principal and vice principals.

Was it difficult at times- hell yeah, especially when they were infants and I had to try to stay awake to care for them after work. There were many times when I would go nearly 2 days with little or no sleep. You do what you have to do. I was able to see my kids grow, was around for many of their "firsts", and when I was growing up, few dads could say that. Certainly not mine- he worked long hours in a traditional job. I am also able to keep tabs on their personal problems, "tragedies", and triumphs. So far they are top students, involved, well adjusted, and happy kids. Fingers crossed...

Do you miss the occasional event, holiday, familyproblem, etc? Of course, but you adapt. We made special arrangements with Santa and the Easter Bunny to stop by early or late when I was working. They were OK with that. Sometimes an entire day away from home is also a mental health break I desperately need.

As understanding as a spouse may be- and mine is- without being in the business, it really is impossible to truly understand the stressors of the job. There are times when I come home after a bad shift and they know I simply need some down time- whether to sleep or just chill. You need to separate the two worlds(home and work) as much as you can, and sometimes it's impossible. A SIDS baby is always hard, but even moreso if you have a baby at home. Conversely, if you are having a spat with your spouse, try not to take those problems to work with you- it's usually impossible to do anything about it there.

Be clear about your career goals, and what the demands of the profession will be on you and your relationships. I know you are new, but it will quickly become apparent what it's all about. This business becomes an integral part of who you are- as it should be.

[msbell]

I was wondering how the mothers (or fathers) in here handle the demands of work / school / and having a family? I have a few questions to ask.

How old were your kids when you started your EMS career?

Did it get easier as they got older?

How supportive is your significant other? Are they in EMS?

Do your children hold any resentment towards your long hours / missed holidays or do they understand / think it's cool?

I know it will all fall into place. But I will not close my eyes to the fact that it will probably be a rocky start. My kids have had me home for the last year and a half, my husband being the sole provider for the family now. Prior to that, I worked in a 9-5 office job M-F. I was close to their schools, and my boss had no problems when I had to leave for something important. I have a great family unit that can and will step in for me to help with the kids when the time comes. I am hoping that I am doing this at a better time in my life. One child is soon to be 13, the other 10. I will have teenagers by the time I am done with all my schooling. I just wanted to hear how others do it. I know its possible. They will be out of the house (crossing fingers) and starting their paths as I am getting into my prime in EMS. On paper, it seems perfect...lol

I was wondering how the mothers (or fathers) in here handle the demands of work / school / and having a family? I have a few questions to ask.

How old were your kids when you started your EMS career?

Did it get easier as they got older?

How supportive is your significant other? Are they in EMS?

Do your children hold any resentment towards your long hours / missed holidays or do they understand / think it's cool?

I know it will all fall into place. But I will not close my eyes to the fact that it will probably be a rocky start. My kids have had me home for the last year and a half, my husband being the sole provider for the family now. Prior to that, I worked in a 9-5 office job M-F. I was close to their schools, and my boss had no problems when I had to leave for something important. I have a great family unit that can and will step in for me to help with the kids when the time comes. I am hoping that I am doing this at a better time in my life. One child is soon to be 13, the other 10. I will have teenagers by the time I am done with all my schooling. I just wanted to hear how others do it. I know its possible. They will be out of the house (crossing fingers) and starting their paths as I am getting into my prime in EMS. On paper, it seems perfect...lol

Hi! I have been in EMS for 16 years was raised around it all my life my dad was a paramedic I have had 3 kid while working on a truck 2 are liveing long store on the other and not related to what you are asking my oldest is 12 now and my baby is going to be 10 this summer and I am on husband number 3 he is a paramedic of 20 years and the keeper the other 2 were not. Let me start by saying EMS is a calling not everyone can handle. It is hardand a very demanding job. To me it is the best job on earth. When my kids were born if it was not for my mom and dad I could not have made it my mother toke care of them so I could work I was a single mom at that time (by kid #3) by chose. I missed alot with them I worked 4 jobs plus school for 3 years now I miss vere little in there life I was working 3 to 4 days a week would get of in time to wake them up and take them to school then pick them up on my off days you make every day count. My kids think I am the coolest and love the fact that mommy saves lives and wears combat boots lol! I say was becouse I have been of work for a while due to needing to be home to help my brother who is very sick. he is getting better now so I am looking for a new job. Here is 2 things to know 911 is what EMT's love to work transfer medics get to have holidays and in most casses nights and weekends with there family's most ambulance jobs undersand if things come up and most medics will help and switch a shift if you need to be off of you can request it off. I have done both transfer is more family frindly. Yes and no on the ez part yes on the kids no on you.Hope this helps.

Edited May 6, 2010 by msbell