"Pun"demonium

[Richard B the EMT]

In a discussion on a Polish bee keeper, who was nearly buried alive following a bee attack, Lone Star and I got into a battle of the puns. At that time, he declared me the one most "Pun"ishing (my wording).

I hereby open a challenge to the entire EMT City to do a "Battle of the 'Pun'dits"! It will be a wide open "Can you top this" type contest.

I'll start!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The fool threw the clock out the window to see if he could make time fly. He was arrested and accused of trying to kill time, but the lawyer convinced the jury that the clock had struck first.

==================================================

The jester was always making bad puns, to the point the king told him, "one more pun, and I'll have you hanged". The jester couldn't resist, and told another pun, and was promptly arrested, and taken to the dungeon.

On the day he was to be executed, he pleaded with the king that he'd never tell another pun. He went on so eloquently, that the king changed his mind, and had him released.

The jester thanked the king, and said, "no noose is good news".

So they hung him anyway!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My father said that Puns were only 2/3rds a joke= P U!

[Lone Star]

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The fool threw the clock out the window to see if he could make time fly. He was arrested and accused of trying to kill time, but the lawyer convinced the jury that the clock had struck first.

==================================================

It should have been 'justifiable homicide'! After all since the clock had already 'struck twelve', 'killing time' was the only option. I'm thinking maybe he was just 'wound too tight'...... →→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→→

[Richard B the EMT]

Surely, you jest!

But, that is why I set up this string.

...and don't call me Shirley!

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

The same fool I mentioned earlier thought the restaurant was closed. He saw their sign that said "Home Cooking".

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When he saw the sign for the fueling station, he brought along an antacid. That sign read "Gas Ahead".

**********************************************************************

When he heard the panhandler say he hadn't had a bite in 2 days, he bit him!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Jimmy was upset with his teacher: "She told me to sit in the chair in the front of the room for the present, and then she never gave it to me".

[Lone Star]

Poor Richard's family!

He was going to take the family to Disney land, but had to turn around after 2 weeks. The family had never made it to their destination.....Richard kept seeing signs that said "Clean Restrooms Ahead".......

[46Young]

Can we expand the challenge to include double entendres?

[JPINFV]

Can we expand the challenge to include double entendres?

Who's entendre are you looking to double?

[Richard B the EMT]

Can we expand the challenge to include double entendres?

But of course.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Lone Star's last entry does explain why the fool got to be overweight. The signs all said, "Fast Food, Drive Through", and he did. He must have really doubled his entendre.

Edited January 31, 2010 by Richard B the EMT

[Lone Star]

I took all seven of the puns in this thread and added 3 more, and sent them to a buddy of mine to brighten his day. He called me and let me know that they failed to to elicit a smile from him.

Since I sent out 10 'one liners' to make him laugh, it's safe to say that

NO PUN IN TEN DID

...

[TylerHastings]

I took all seven of the puns in this thread and added 3 more, and sent them to a buddy of mine to brighten his day. He called me and let me know that they failed to to elicit a smile from him.

Since I sent out 10 'one liners' to make him laugh, it's safe to say that

NO PUN IN TEN DID

...

groan

[Richard B the EMT]

Add another groan from Momma B, who read that over my shoulder.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Tommy asked Jamie what nitrates were. Jamie said "probably cheaper than day rates".

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

If we breath oxygen by day, do we breath nitrogen at night?

Warning: TO BE CONTINUED......