"Pun"demonium

[Richard B the EMT]

It seems our mutual friend, the Fool, is at it again. He was found planting light bulbs, expecting to grow an Electric Plant.

[Lone Star]

He was reportedly observed throwing shoes and butter off the balcony of his apartment.

I guess he wanted to see a butterfly and shoefly (shoo, fly!)

[Richard B the EMT]

The fool also was found staring at some fruit in the bowl on the table. He was waiting to see an apple turnover.

On a separate string, one on EMS Chiefs bringing department members up on charges for wearing socks with cartoon images on them, we went off topic, mentioning for folks with foot conditions, some socks come with white on the bottoms, but black tops visible where not covered by shoes or boots. Someone else brought it up, and I posted both my and his comments, saying it was covered. Double entendre (spelling?)?

Sign at Kennedy Space Center: Out to Launch.

Sign at KKK meeting hall: Out to Lynch.

Sign at the residence of Shirlock Holmes: Out on Hunch.

Sign on Banana Picker's Union: Out to Bunch.

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Some years ago, a foreign born man got drunk, somehow got into the bear cage at the zoo, and eaten by one of the bears. After euthanizing the animals, the Medical Examiner opened up the stomachs of the beasts, turned to the lead investigator, and said "the Czech is in the male".

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"Tommy, where is your sister? The parade is almost in front of the house!"

"She's still upstairs, waiving her hair."

"Why? Can't we afford a flag?"

Edited February 7, 2010 by Richard B the EMT

[Richard B the EMT]

The fool had a brother who was a glass blower. One day at work, he hiccuped, and inhaled. Now he has a pane (pain) in his stomach.

He used to have a sister. She fell, accidentally, into the eyeglass making machine, and made a spectacle of herself.

Godzilla, on one of his rampages, swallowed a nuclear plant, now he has Atomic Ache (a tummy ache).

(Going back to the late 1950s, here)

If Mrs. Ippi stole her brand New Jersey, what would Della wear?

I don't know, but I'll ask her.

(Mississippi, New Jersey, Delaware, Alaska)

I almost forgot.

The fool, although not a blond, was found staring at a container of Orange Juice, because he had read the label, which said "Concentrate".

Edited February 7, 2010 by Richard B the EMT

[joesph]

Lone star finally graduated from bass fishing school. We are proud to announce that he is a Master Baiter

[Richard B the EMT]

A friend of mine is a fisherman. He always communicates with the fish, because he drops them a line.

I said that for the Halibut.

I also said that on Porpoise.

Fish are actually musical. They always have scales.

You can tune a radio, but can you tuna fish?

Did I just flounder?

Actually, all the jokes in this posting are a type fish: Smelt!

Mom was listening to me read the jokes before I sent them, and asks if I have them "on the hook?"

Isn't this a Whale of a tail? Or am I just spouting?

I guess this is just Squid pro quo.

[Lone Star]

A friend of mine is a fisherman. He always communicates with the fish, because he drops them a line.

I said that for the Halibut.

I also said that on Porpoise.

Fish are actually musical. They always have scales.

You can tune a radio, but can you tuna fish?

Did I just flounder?

Actually, all the jokes in this posting are a type fish: Smelt!

Mom was listening to me read the jokes before I sent them, and asks if I have them "on the hook?"

Isn't this a Whale of a tail? Or am I just spouting?

I guess this is just Squid pro quo.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a clam!

[Richard B the EMT]

Gee, don't you seem crabby tonight.

[Lone Star]

Gee, don't you seem crabby tonight.

Oh my cod! I've offended Richard. My life has no porpoise now! I couldn't kelp myself. I guess I'll just have to drive off in my carp before cause him to clam up!

[Richard B the EMT]

Sounds like you're fishing for a compliment.

I was talking to the fool again, and he has no idea what is going on in this world. I mentioned the pirates working in the waters off Somalia, and he thought I was referring to bakery workers (Pie Rates).