"Pun"demonium

[Lone Star]

Sounds like you're fishing for a compliment.

I was talking to the fool again, and he has no idea what is going on in this world. I mentioned the pirates working in the waters off Somalia, and he thought I was referring to bakery workers (Pie Rates).

Avast!

Pie Rates would more likely be how much the pies are....

Now bakery vermin (Pie Rats) ...well, that might be a different story.

I chest hope that I'm not walking the plank on this one!

Maybe I should just load my booty, and sail away from this before the Jolly Roger holds my tankard of grog!

[Richard B the EMT]

Nice "Calico Jack" flag.

FYI:

John Rackham (December 21, 1682 – November 18, 1720^[2] in Jamaica) (often spelled Rackam or Rackum in contemporary documentation), known also as Calico Jack, was an English pirate captain during the early 18th century. His nickname was derived from the calico clothing he wore.^[3]

^{John "Calico Jack" Rackham is most remembered for two things: (1) the design of his Jolly Roger flag, seen to the left, which contributed to the popularization of the design and its association with piracy in popular culture; and (2) employing two of the most notorious female pirates of the age as part of his crew – Mary Read and Anne Bonny (the latter of whom he had whisked away from her husband).}

^{Rackham originally sailed as a crewman for Charles Vane, an English pirate captain. During 1718, Vane refused to attack a French man-of-war, to the dismay of his crew. The crew voted for Rackham (at the time the ship's quartermaster) to depose Vane for cowardice. Vane was cast off in a smaller sloop with a handful of crewmen who had voted against Rackham[5]}

^{He met Bonny as a wife on "vacation". She always wanted to be a pirate of importance. When Read became a crew member, Jack thought that she was a man and because she was spending a lot of time with Bonny, Jack threatened to shoot her as he thought Read wanted Bonny as a girlfriend or wife. However Read told her secret, was spared and became crew.}

^{Once gaining the captaincy, "Calico Jack" made a career of plundering small vessels close to shore. This boldness proved to be his undoing. During the autumn of 1720 he cruised near Jamaica, capturing numerous small fishing vessels, and terrorizing fishermen and women along the northern coastline. During November 1720, he came across a small vessel filled with nine English pirates. Soon after, Rackham's ship was attacked by an armed sloop sent by Governor Nicholas Lawes, and was captured. Rackham and his crew were brought to Jamaica, where he and nearly all of his crew members were sentenced to hang.}

^{Rackham and his crew were captured October 1720 by Captain Jonathan Barnet, then they were tried and convicted in St. Jago de la Vega (Spanish Town), Jamaica, November 16–17, 1720. Rackham was hanged at Gallows-Point in Port Royal on November 18, 1720. Rackham's body was then tarred, hanged in a cage, and gibbeted on display on a very small islet at a main entrance to Port Royal, Jamaica as a warning to other pirates (now known as Rackham's Cay). Of the two female members of the crew, Mary died before execution and the fate of Anne, who was not executed, is unknown. The others of the crew (comprising nine men) were executed by hanging. [6]}

^{Justice was not always so swift. When, in October 1720, Rackham and his captured crew were brought to the Port Royal jail, Rackham's old captain, Charles Vane, was in a nearby cell. Vane was captured nearly two years prior, but was not tried & convicted until the March following Rackham's demise.[7]}

Anne Bonny and Mary Read were not executed, because at their trial a week after Rackham's execution they both said they were quick with child. They were given a temporary stay until the claim was proved, and the plan was to hang them after childbirth. However, Read died during April 1721 of fever related to childbirth, while Bonny was spared execution and disappeared from all historical records, leaving much legend and speculation regarding her fate (and that of her child).

The day after Rackham's trial, two men, listed with Rackham's crew in the title page of the printed "tryal," were tried & convicted separately. John "Old Dad the Cooper" Fenwick, was tried with Tom Brown (alias Bourn) for offenses committed in mid-June 1720 off Hispaniola. During January 1721, Fenwick was later mentioned posthumously (and surely would have been convicted if tried) in a mutiny trial of four men (only two were convicted citing insufficient evidence for the other two), for their mutiny in Africa in late June, only two weeks after the piracy which led to Brown and Fenwick's trial & conviction. It is clarified in a later trial (of the nine men who happened to be caught with Rackham's crew) that Fenwick & Brown were not part of Rackham's 9-man, 2-woman crew, though they very likely would have all known each other.

All of the nine men from the other crew who were captured with Rackham's crew were tried and convicted (based on highly suspect testimony and charges) during January 1720, then hanged February 1720.

The reason there may be confusion is that their trials were consecutive, their names listed together, and their executions consecutive, hinting that they all offended one particular person. Thomas Spenlow testified at three separate trials from 1720 to 1721.

All of these accounts are verified in The Tryals of Captain John Rackam and other Pirates, published 1720 in Jamaica, accepted as the only surviving records of the trials taking place from November 1720 to March 1721.

Jack Sparrow

Calico Jack has some interesting connections to Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean film franchise. Besides also having the moniker, Jack, the Black Pearl, originally Sparrow's ship, flies the Jolly Roger that was designed by Calico Jack. Since Sparrow stole and sunk the similarly named Jolly Mon from Anamaria, he offers her Interceptor in return for her joining his crew. Sparrow is the only pirate willing to bear the "bad luck" of allowing a woman on board (e.g., Calypso)—let alone in his crew (e.g., Anamaria and Elizabeth). In reality both of the only female pirates convicted in the peak of the Golden Age of Piracy (early eighteenth century) and possible namesakes of Anamaria, Anne Bonny and Mary Read, cross-dressed and worked for Calico Jack, breaking male seafaring tradition. Just as Elizabeth, who also cross-dressed, stole away from her bridegroom, Commodore Norrington, to go pirating with Sparrow, Bonny stole away from her husband to go pirating with Calico Jack.

All information from the Wickipedia, and the ID on the flag from the BuyPiratesFlag.com website.

As I met a Fire Fighter who might be a decendant, I link to a different flag: http://www.flagline.com/id01RA019?cs=1

OK, History lesson over, back the PunDemonium!

I guess that there is a flag on the play?

Why do we drive on the Parkway, but park on the Driveway?

[Richard B the EMT]

My dog got into the equipment in my kit, and swallowed one of my extra penlights.He immediately coughed it up, and was De-Lighted.

The fool actually named my dog for me. His theory was, so the other dogs could call him by name, I should name him "Ralph!"

The story goes, that dogs used to have removable tails. They'd take them off when they went swimming. One day, someone swept up all the tails, and from that day on, that is why dogs sniff each others rears, looking for their own tails.

Some went to a retail store for replacements.

You know the T-Shirt that says "Never do anything you don't want to explain to the EMTs or Paramedics"? It's because of both dogs and cats. After all, both are known for carrying tails (tales).

This one is true.

My associates from the Broad Channel VFD/VAS have a store in their neighborhood, that sells bagels and assorted fillings for them. Broad Channel is in the middle of Jamaica Bay, to the southwest of JFK Airport, and south of the Jamaica Bay Bird Sanctuary unit of the Gateway National Recreation Area.

This is perhaps why the bagel store calls themselves the "Bay-Gull".

[Lone Star]

I guess that there is a flag on the play?

Why do we drive on the Parkway, but park on the Driveway?

Why is something transported by car/truck called a 'shipment', but when sent by ship, is called 'cargo'?

[Richard B the EMT]

The fool, as a child, thought he was a lot brighter than he actually was, because everyone called him "Sunny".

[Lone Star]

No wonder immigrants have a hard time learning English.....in what other language do people play at a recital and recite at a play?

*Edited for typo*

Edited February 11, 2010 by Lone Star

[Richard B the EMT]

LS, Momma B stated she'd never heard that one before.

With the snow dumped on us this midweek, closing down Washington DC, and causing the first closing of NYC public schools from BEFORE the snow started falling locally within memory, I jumped on this one during a weather report:

Snow on Islip (I slip?).

[Lone Star]

LS, Momma B stated she'd never heard that one before.

With the snow dumped on us this midweek, closing down Washington DC, and causing the first closing of NYC public schools from BEFORE the snow started falling locally within memory, I jumped on this one during a weather report:

Snow on Islip (I slip?).

Yoda talking like you are now!

My name is Fred, and I work as a Tour Guide at the Hoover Dam. That's right, I am your Dam Guide. I'm here to answer your dam questions.

I'm the only one that works for the Hoover Dam that rides a motorcycle, so that makes me 'that dam biker'.

While at work, when 'nature calls', I have to use the Dam restroom.

About midday, I leave my Dam office, and eat my Dam lunch.

Since I started working at the Hoover Dam, I've saved up and finally bought a home. Since my Dam paycheck makes the payments, I guess this is my Dam house.

I met my Dam wife while we worked together at the Hoover Dam.

I've thought about getting a Dam dog, and I think I'll name him Herbert.

[Richard B the EMT]

That was a dam good story.

I used to have a "Grandmother" clock (less than 6 feet, at that height or taller, is a "Grandfather Clock. True!) that was in partial malfunction: It would only tick, and not tock.

I took it to the clock repairman, and explained the problem. He pushed the loup into his eye, turned to the clock, and said

We have ways of making you tock!

**********************************************************

Terrorist Alert!

In a joint statement, the offices of the United States, New York, and New Jersey Attorney Generals announced that yesterday, at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, an individual, later discovered to be a Public School teacher, was arrested while trying to board a flight to Washington DC, while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.

The Attorney Generals offices expressed the belief that the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement, and is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult, that desires average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes goes off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of shadowy figures, with names like “X” or “Y”, and, although they are referred to as “unknowns”, we know they really belong to a common denominator, and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the great Greek philanderer, Isoseles, used to say, there are three sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.

I am grateful our government has given us a cosine of intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumference, it is time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.

These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a higher power, and begin to factor in random facts of vertex.

As the first President George Bush used to say, “Read my ellipse”. Here is one principal he is uncertainty of – Although they continue to multiply, their days are numbered, and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks!

[Richard B the EMT]

I caution all who celebrate, either the United States, or Canadian, "Thanksgiving" holiday, to keep an eye out for your server in the restaurant, or even within your homes, for the potential for an international disaster.

If the server should trip or fall, it would bring about the :

Destruction of China,

The overthrow of grease (Greece),

and the downfall of Turkey!