Dealing with death and gore

[gemini1030]

OK, I am very new to EMS and had my first call to a DOA. It was an older lady and she had been down for several days, maybe a week. For some reason it did not seem to phase me. Is that normal? I am more concerned with the fact that it seemed so routine and was not in the least bit upsetting or anything. I did help hook her up to a 3 lead to run the strip. We had a student doing clinicals and he had never done a 3 lead so he and I hooked them up and printed the strip. Is this normal or should I be concerned about my reaction. For some reason I thought that this would bother me more.

[Chief1C]

Generally, I find myself not to be "bothered" deeply by non-gruesome, non-violent, non-traumatic deaths. It's part of life, people die, perhaps you've accepted that. If you're feeling badly, because you think that you should feel something, then talk to someone.

[medicKristina]

I have to agree - the "normal" deaths were, and are, "un-moving" to me... I'm not saddened by their loss. I feel deeply for the family who now has lost a loved one, but am not affected deeply by the loss of the person.

However, I can say that traumatic deaths, unexpected deaths (particularly to younger, healthy people)...now those sting me in the gut. I also have two children, so ANYTHING relating to kids is much more emotional to me than a natural death....+

[mobey]

everyone is programed differently. I am not affected for more than a couple hrs by any death I have ever experienced. traumatic, natural, SIDS, even people (3) who have coded in my rig alone with me (all pulmonary edemas I had to watch drown).....

The fact is, I am very good at removing the "person" from the patient... I show empathy, and treat everyone with respect, but in the end, I rarely take anything home.

[Siffaliss]

everyone is programed differently. I am not affected for more than a couple hrs by any death I have ever experienced. traumatic, natural, SIDS, even people (3) who have coded in my rig alone with me (all pulmonary edemas I had to watch drown).....

The fact is, I am very good at removing the "person" from the patient... I show empathy, and treat everyone with respect, but in the end, I rarely take anything home.

Well said.

I think everyone takes something home at one point or another. The important thing is to recognize the signs when they appear and seek a little help.

[offshoremedic]

Ok this is going to seem cold, but I was the same way when I was new so trust me I understand. People die. Can't help it, can't stop it, and in the end it is the only certainty in life. People who are obvious DOA's, especially older patients who died in their sleep, are easier to deal with in the long term. You didn't put all of the physical and emotional effort there is in working a code, so someone who has been in the business for a long time might be more able to deal with it. easier. You have to be nice and sympathetic to the family. They deserve your sympathy. Remember that older Medic has learned more about the job and probably has a wall up to keep the pain out, because day in day out the job can wear you down.

[pinkemsprincess]

Everyone has had very true and real things to say about this topic. I most definitely agree and can relate. The very first call I had as a Basic was a code. I was entranced with what I needed to do, it was surreal. Even with my first DOS/DOA it was not very immediately impactful, I found myself discussing my lack of emotions later with my partner who concurred it was natural. Everyone is different. So worry not, you are not weird. Well you might be, in this field you have to be. But this "lack of emotion" is not what makes you weird.

[stcommodore]

Why did you do an ekg on a rotting corpse?

[DwayneEMTP]

As long as you are sure that you're coping, and not simply pretending to cope, then you have nothing to worry about. I have known very few people in this field that would be disturbed by the things you've mentioned, though I'm guessing most of us have had 'moments.' Once ran a call for a woman violently raped. Face pounded, multiple stab wounds, including her vagina and rectum. I left that call shaking with anger, just wanting to beat the shit out of someone simply because of the brutality of the act. Once the adrenalin washed out of my system I was fine, went back to work, and got to run on the guys that did this after they 'resisted arrest.' Made me feel much better. :-)

Watch for the signs that you're bullshitting yourself about being ok. Neuralgic hypersensitivity to noises or movements, disturbance of your sleep, a revisiting of the call or images of it in your head uncalled for, changes in your personality.

If you feel fine, you almost certainly are fine, though EMS is full of 'do gooders' that will want to try and convince you otherwise. They are a much bigger threat to your emotional well being than nasty calls.

Good question man...

Dwayne

[mobey]

Why did you do an ekg on a rotting corpse?

We have the same protocol....... it is a friggen joke if you ask me.