Dunk tank humor/insults for fire and vollys

[DwayneEMTP]

So, when I started at my current job I became quickly unpopular because of my outspoken feelings regarding fire v EMS and the local volunteer system. Over that last year or so I've repaired many of those relationships and work great will most of them. (Though of course there are a few that will cry forever about comments made in passing, but screw em.

But, based on this history I've been asked to sit in the charity dunk tank. It's a fund used to sends vollys that have shown at least a years true commitment to the community to EMTB school at the local college.

I've warned my boss that this is going to cause a shit storm, as I'm unwilling to let people stand back and throw things at me for free, and he's accepted responsibility for any fallout that may come from my 'charity work.'

So, what I need is volly/fire jokes/insults that will get them to spend their money to see me get dunked. None of this will be mean spirited on my part, I don't want to hurt feelings, only poke people with verbal sticks until they get mad enough to spend their money...

Any help you all can give will be appreciated and help turn another first responder into another basic.

Dwayne

Edited May 11, 2010 by DwayneEMTP

[Mateo_1387]

Hose monkey is always a good start.

There needs to be some video of this.

[Eydawn]

When are you sitting the dunk tank? I'm so coming down to watch this.

"Y'all play with hoses coz ya ain't got no hose of your own..."

"You play with flamers, huh? That's right... flamers...."

"Your dog is the Dalmatian because they're deaf and don't have to listen to you toot your own horn..."

"Good thing bunker gear leaves everything to the imagination"

"Heeere, hosemoney! Goooood monkey!! I'll give you a banana if you go break something over there..."

That's off the top of my head.

Wendy

CO EMT-B

[akflightmedic]

Sing out tauntingly "Mama's little bed wetter" and accuse him of always playing with his hose.

I am sure you can come up with something creative, I mean we are talking hoses, lengths and diameters here.

Water fairy never fails to tease.

Tell them you didnt know they were firemen cause the backs of their jackets have Lazy Boy imprinted on them from sitting around or something to that effect.

Q. How do you put out a fire?

A. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief.

Q. How can you tell when a firefighter is dead????

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

Firefighters are so dumb they use the dogs to find the fire hydrants.

Can accuse them of being so quick that they are always "fast" asleep

You Might Be In A Redneck Volunteer Fire Department If....

Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.

You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.

Your firehouse has wheels.

You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.

Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk.

You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire.

That outhouse fire was with entrapment.

You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.

At least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.

Your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.

You don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.

You've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.

Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.

Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.

Your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.

Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.

The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.

You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy.

Your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.

You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.

Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.

Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.

The only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.

This forum had some good ones...http://forums.officer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42792

Firefighter: The only job where you WAKE UP when it is time to go home.

I like Dalmation Molester.

[joesph]

Come on you guys can do better then that wheres dusty and phil when you need them.

Here's my best ' The fire went out despite their best efforts'

I swear I about blew a gasket about the remote control one though.

[HERBIE1]

Sing out tauntingly "Mama's little bed wetter" and accuse him of always playing with his hose.

I am sure you can come up with something creative, I mean we are talking hoses, lengths and diameters here.

Water fairy never fails to tease.

Tell them you didnt know they were firemen cause the backs of their jackets have Lazy Boy imprinted on them from sitting around or something to that effect.

Q. How do you put out a fire?

A. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief.

Q. How can you tell when a firefighter is dead????

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

Firefighters are so dumb they use the dogs to find the fire hydrants.

Can accuse them of being so quick that they are always "fast" asleep

You Might Be In A Redneck Volunteer Fire Department If....

Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.

You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.

Your firehouse has wheels.

You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.

Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk.

You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire.

That outhouse fire was with entrapment.

You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.

At least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.

Your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.

You don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.

You've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.

Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.

Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.

Your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.

Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.

The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.

You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy.

Your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.

You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.

Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.

Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.

The only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.

This forum had some good ones...http://forums.officer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42792

Firefighter: The only job where you WAKE UP when it is time to go home.

I like Dalmation Molester.

Damn funny!

I'm stealing this one:

Firefighter: The only job where you WAKE UP when it is time to go home.

Completely accurate.

[Just Plain Ruff]

Damn funny!

I'm stealing this one:

Firefighter: The only job where you WAKE UP when it is time to go home.

Completely accurate.

How bout "another fine inground swimming pool courtesy of XYZ Department"

[DwayneEMTP]

Thanks a lot guys...this is going to be a friggin' blood bath...I can't wait!

I have until Saturday, so I could use more ideas if you've got 'em....(Not sure yet what time Wendy...)

Have a great day all!

Dwayne

[tskstorm]

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.

Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning?

A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.

Q. What does CHAOS stand for?

A.The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

K 9 P

Q: What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

A: Lawn chair.

[Richard B the EMT]

At least they saved the chimney.