The Ex Cleaned Me Out

[MAS Medic]

Since I really haven't had any time to vent to anyone else about this whole situation, I figured putting it down on paper, so to speak, would make life a little easier. I'm not unlike most of you, averaging 4 days a week but a total hours alotment of about 72 per week. Why, well the plan was to help the now EX get back on her feet and through school! So I thought....

I was at work on Sunday, my birthday to boot, when I found out she had logged onto my back account (not sure how she got the info) transferred money out and when withdrew said money zero'ing my accounts. As if that wasn't enough she didn't just stop there. She took my entire IKEA bedroom set, sleep number bed, my hi def TV, my new IMAC, and my god damn dog!

Now I'm the type of guy that puts everything he has, his heart and soul, into a relationship and I work through problems when I know they exist. As a Paramedic it's my job to look after the well being, both physically and mentally, of those I contact on a daily basis. What I don't understand is both what I did and why this shit happens to me? We were together for 4 years.

My previous relationship was 7.5 years and she cheated on my 3 times, her excuse was that I wasn't home enough. Now granted I was working 96 hours a week because we were on a single income with a new baby and putting myself through paramedic school at the time.

I just don't get the female species, I'm a good fuc*ing guy. I don't get why this always happens to me!

[Just Plain Ruff]

Since I really haven't had any time to vent to anyone else about this whole situation, I figured putting it down on paper, so to speak, would make life a little easier. I'm not unlike most of you, averaging 4 days a week but a total hours alotment of about 72 per week. Why, well the plan was to help the now EX get back on her feet and through school! So I thought....

I was at work on Sunday, my birthday to boot, when I found out she had logged onto my back account (not sure how she got the info) transferred money out and when withdrew said money zero'ing my accounts. As if that wasn't enough she didn't just stop there. She took my entire IKEA bedroom set, sleep number bed, my hi def TV, my new IMAC, and my god damn dog!

Now I'm the type of guy that puts everything he has, his heart and soul, into a relationship and I work through problems when I know they exist. As a Paramedic it's my job to look after the well being, both physically and mentally, of those I contact on a daily basis. What I don't understand is both what I did and why this shit happens to me? We were together for 4 years.

My previous relationship was 7.5 years and she cheated on my 3 times, her excuse was that I wasn't home enough. Now granted I was working 96 hours a week because we were on a single income with a new baby and putting myself through paramedic school at the time.

I just don't get the female species, I'm a good fuc*ing guy. I don't get why this always happens to me!

Dude this SUCKS BIG DONKEY BALLS but there are things you can do

Is she on your account? If not then what she did was illegal and you need to file a police report and press charges.

Was all the stuff that she snagged purchased when you were together or was it after the fact? If it was after the fact, then she's a thief so she needs to be arrested.

I'm praying for your situation. Hope that's ok.

[ncmedic15]

Since I really haven't had any time to vent to anyone else about this whole situation, I figured putting it down on paper, so to speak, would make life a little easier. I'm not unlike most of you, averaging 4 days a week but a total hours alotment of about 72 per week. Why, well the plan was to help the now EX get back on her feet and through school! So I thought....

I was at work on Sunday, my birthday to boot, when I found out she had logged onto my back account (not sure how she got the info) transferred money out and when withdrew said money zero'ing my accounts. As if that wasn't enough she didn't just stop there. She took my entire IKEA bedroom set, sleep number bed, my hi def TV, my new IMAC, and my god damn dog!

Now I'm the type of guy that puts everything he has, his heart and soul, into a relationship and I work through problems when I know they exist. As a Paramedic it's my job to look after the well being, both physically and mentally, of those I contact on a daily basis. What I don't understand is both what I did and why this shit happens to me? We were together for 4 years.

My previous relationship was 7.5 years and she cheated on my 3 times, her excuse was that I wasn't home enough. Now granted I was working 96 hours a week because we were on a single income with a new baby and putting myself through paramedic school at the time.

I just don't get the female species, I'm a good fuc*ing guy. I don't get why this always happens to me!

I feel so bad for you. My EX- HUSBAND and i was married for 15 years when he decided i wasn't home enough. I found him and my so called best friend in my bed. I used to put in SEVERAL hours on a rig til that happen. It didnt take me long to divorce him. I now have a live-in boyfriend and we have been together for 3 years. He is also an EMT. The relationship is great. we know what each other goes thru and can understand. We work together same shifts. Maybe it would help if you find someone in ems that away they understand the hours and what you go thru. just a thought and good luck.

[MAS Medic]

Dude this SUCKS BIG DONKEY BALLS but there are things you can do

Is she on your account? If not then what she did was illegal and you need to file a police report and press charges.

Was all the stuff that she snagged purchased when you were together or was it after the fact? If it was after the fact, then she's a thief so she needs to be arrested.

I'm praying for your situation. Hope that's ok.

She was a signer on a joint account we had together, but not the one she logged onto and took money out of. The police say it would be hard to prove it was her, whatever, I know it was. She's not had a job in a year, all the money that goes into that account is mine and we were never married. All the stuff in my house was purchased by me, however it was purchased through the joint account. She's not the account holder I am, she's just a signer.

I'm sorry if I'm brief I'm just so angry and bitter right now. I'm so good at supressing emotion and dealing with stress that this has really gotten the best of me.

I wish I could find a wonderful woman in EMS but they are few. It would make life so much easier. I have such a heart of gold and I really don't deserve this. The real sad part was that I thought we'd remain friends after all this time. I even offered to help her a little financially until she was back on her feet. I'm just so cold to everything right now.

[HERBIE1]

Crap, dude. Lousy situation. I'll echo the sentiments of getting the PD involved. Unless she was on your accounts, You were a victim of theft.

Good luck.

[FireMedic65]

Really sorry to hear this.. it is terrible news. My sister dealt with a similar situation when she divorced her husband... he also stole stuff from me.

Anyway, you were not married correct? If not... then she stole your stuff, and robbed your bank account. I would call the police.

Hope things work out for you.

[rat115]

MAS, that SUCKS!!!!!

I would see if there's some way for your bank to pull up the IP address that the transaction on the account she didn't have a signature for came from. Also find out a time that it was done. See if it coincides with a time you were on a call or have witnesses to say that you were unable to access a computer. Best way to show she did this is to prove that you weren't able.

One thing you need to look into, though, is your state's common law marriage laws. Those can throw a wrench in all of this if the law says your married by common law because of how long you lived together and it's a joint property state. Check it out and talk to a lawyer.

There are some decent women out there. Hope you find the one you deserve.

[MAS Medic]

Thanks for all the support y'all. I won't deny that I'm kind of hanging on by a thread. I realize that once rock bottom is hit, and I'm sure I'm there right now, that the only place left to go is up. I just don't really see the motivation for it right now. I've had curveballs thrown in my life and I've successfully negotiated them in the past, but this one was from out of left field and like a rogue wave it's pretty much sunk my ship.

I'm really trying hard to put it out of my mind. I just feel so violated and angry. I never would have thought, not in a million years, that she was capable of such acts but I guess the stigmata holds true that you never really know a person. Anyways for what it's worth I appreciate the support.

[tracymae]

Since I really haven't had any time to vent to anyone else about this whole situation, I figured putting it down on paper, so to speak, would make life a little easier. I'm not unlike most of you, averaging 4 days a week but a total hours alotment of about 72 per week. Why, well the plan was to help the now EX get back on her feet and through school! So I thought....

I was at work on Sunday, my birthday to boot, when I found out she had logged onto my back account (not sure how she got the info) transferred money out and when withdrew said money zero'ing my accounts. As if that wasn't enough she didn't just stop there. She took my entire IKEA bedroom set, sleep number bed, my hi def TV, my new IMAC, and my god damn dog!

Now I'm the type of guy that puts everything he has, his heart and soul, into a relationship and I work through problems when I know they exist. As a Paramedic it's my job to look after the well being, both physically and mentally, of those I contact on a daily basis. What I don't understand is both what I did and why this shit happens to me? We were together for 4 years.

My previous relationship was 7.5 years and she cheated on my 3 times, her excuse was that I wasn't home enough. Now granted I was working 96 hours a week because we were on a single income with a new baby and putting myself through paramedic school at the time.

I just don't get the female species, I'm a good fuc*ing guy. I don't get why this always happens to me!

This really sucks and I am sorry this has happened to you! You should press charges against her! The shoe does fit on the other foot though. I was in a similar situation and was ripped off by my ex boyfriend. Hope things look up for you!

[Mateo_1387]

Ok, I got a few things to say...

Seems kinda hinky that you are one who puts your heart and soul into the relationship and works to fix problems as they present yet you wanted to help her get back on her feet, financially speaking. Obviously, you seem dedicated, which makes me think she dumped you. So probably not a spur of the moment decision for her. What I do not get is why you still wanted to help her through school and support her. Most people would be pissed off in your case.

Does she have access to your house, such as a key? Did you change the locks when you separated? I doubt she was nice up to the day you separated, then just turned total bitch like that. Had to have been warning signs. Not blaming you, just sayin'... Plus, when she left you, she probably had some support system to keep her off the streets, unless of course she is an idiot.

If she did have access to your home, she could have simply logged into your computer and pulled up your bank account sites from your browser history. If you have the browser save your passwords it would be simple to get into your bank account information. Also, if you use the same passwords for everything, it would be easy to figure out your account information and then just enter your commonly used password.

I would do a few things in your case. Make a police report. Secure your home and possessions. Find out when the money was moved to try and prove you were not the one who made the transfer. That may at least prove to your bank you did not take the money and may be a way to get a return of some of the money. The other thing, find out which bank account it was transferred to. If it is an account in her name, seems like a sealed deal. Hiring a lawyer may not be a bad idea either.

I hope are not taking my comments as accusing, just rather offering my perspective from what you wrote to maybe help you learn. It sounds like a crappy situation. I hope you can get some of the acute issues resolved. I also hope that you can learn from this experience, grow, move on, and find a healthy relationship for yourself.

Good luck bro !