If Brett Favre was a Paramedic

[emtannie]

Brought to you by the same writer (Sean at Medic Madness) that brought us "If Chuck Norris was a Paramedic." Too funny!

http://www.medicmadness.com/2010/10/if-brett-favre-was-a-paramedic/

All of us football fans know him. There is no doubt that he is an exceptional quarterback. However, one minute he’s retired and the next he’s back in the game. His indecisiveness has left us all wondering when he will finally hang up his helmet and leave the NFL for good. More importantly, what will he do when he finally does retire? Perhaps he could do like most NFL retirees and become a sports anchor, or he could really take on a new route and seek a job in the life-saving business of EMS.

So lets ask ourselves the questions of the century. What kind of paramedic would Brett Favre be?

Shifts

Brett would have a pretty easy schedule as he would only be required to work 16 days a year. Mostly consisting of Sunday afternoons and Monday nights.

Continuing Education

While most paramedics are required to complete 48 hours of continuing education, Mr. Favre is actually required to spend 6-8 weeks in the late summer refreshing. However, this requirement can be waved by putting in retirement notices every year.

Protocols

Brett’s EMS service would have to incorporate standing orders with liberal policies on pain management. This would be essential as this is Mr. Favre’s area of expertise.

Scene Safety

While Brett may be equipped with an exceptional amount of personal protective equipment, he would require several large co-workers to ensure that his work environment was clear from danger.

Radio Reports

Rather than utilize the old EMS standard of radio communications, Mr. Favre would instead hand off pertinent patient information in the form of obscene text/picture messages. While it may seem unprofessional, this form of communication could be helpful in showing the ER staff a clear picture of the patient’s presentation. It could also be used to attempt to score dates with the nurses.

Uniforms

To Brett Favre, polyester is a thing of the past. Instead he would utilize his endorsement from Wranglers to provide jeans to everyone in his service. This of course would require everyone on his staff to participate in clothing commercials.

Quality Assurance

Most EMS services have staff that review written documentation to ensure quality patient care. This is an age-old method that is useful but out of date. Instead, Mr. Favre’s service would utilize instant replay and post-call commentators to breakdown and review his actions. This would of course be done by retired paramedics.

Conclusion

Brett Favre’s good health, excellent social skills, great wealth and willingness to work in several areas makes him a perfect fit for a job in EMS.

[MedicAsh]

Hahahahahahahaha

OMG Annie I love it!!!