the rules of being an emt

[emtcutie]

1. Skin signs tell all.

2. Sick people don't bitch.

3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing.

4. Newbies have there own way of doing things.

5. The more equipment you see on a EMTs belt, the newer they are.

6. There is no rule 6.

7. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.

8. All bleeding stops....eventually.

9. All people will eventually die, no matter what you do.

10. If the child is quiet, be scared.

(And A few more)

11. Always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes.

12. If the patient vomits in the rig try to hold their head to the side of the rig with the disposable equipment, not the stuff you have to clean.

13. If someone dies by chemical hazards, electrical shocks or other on-scene dangers it should be the patient, not you.

14. Any EMT, FF, LEO and/or scene chief who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient is the real problem.

15. There will be problems.

16. You can't cure stupid.

17. If it's wet and sticky and not yours, LEAVE IT ALONE!

18. If at all possible, avoid any edible item that firefighters prepare, especially the tuna casserole.

19. Heaven protects Fools and Drunks.

20. EMS is extended periods of intense boredom, interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.

21. Every Emergency has three phases: PANIC, FEAR, AND REMORSE.

22. You are bound to get a call either during dinner, while you are on the can, or at 02:00 in the middle of a great dream.

23. Rocket scientists that get into stupid car crashes are the first ones to complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.

24. The severity of the injury(s) is directly proportional to the difficulty in accessing, as well as the weight, of the patient.

25. Turret mounted machine guns usually work better than lights and sirens.

26. Make sure the rookie EMT knows that a med patch is a radio term and not a medicated bandage.

27. Paramedics save lives; But it's EMT skills that save Paramedics.

28. When a patient vomits outside, be sure to aim it at the citizens who wouldn't back up.

29. Never trust your rig, drug box, or airway bag to be fully stocked. In spite of the assurances of the offgoing crew.

30. If you don't have it, don't give up, Adapt, Improvise, Overcome, (then call for a second unit).

31. There is no such thing as a "textbook case"

32. Newbies always look for large things in the smallest compartments and vice versa.

33. There is no such thing as a bad call. Only calls that didn't go the way you planned.

36. If there are no drunks at an MVA after midnight, keep looking, some one is missing.

37. Just because your paranoid does not mean the Supervisor isn't around the corner.

38. Remember what MICN stands for, "May I interrupt your Call Now?"

39. Just because someone's license date is before yours does not mean they know what they are doing.

The final rule is.....Its not your emergency, calm down.

my favorite is: you can't cure stupid... its so ture and so many of us try and do it lol

Edited November 9, 2010 by emtcutie

[Vorenus]

I probably laughed most at Nr. 6...

[WolfmanHarris]

And never forget the exceptions that disprove the rule. Case in point for #31.

Responded last winter for a 69 y/o M c/o sudden onset CP. Radiating to the L-arm and jaw accompanied by SOB, diaphoresis. Pt. had been shoveling snow when symptoms started. Hx of angina and prev. MI. Taken three sprays NTG w/ no relief. 12 lead showed clear ST-elevation in V2, V3, V4. No artifact or anything. We called for ACP back-up, administered ASA and 2 further sprays 0.4mg NTG. Pt. starts to drop his systolic as ACP back-up arrives. ACP starts a line, follows up with more NTG and fentanyl and takes over for transport. L&S to hospital bypassing ED right to cath lab. Pt. gets PCI for 90% occlusion LAD. Leaves hospital 3 days later. Sends a thank-you card just on time for Christmas. I practically expected to look over and see a prof with a clipboard.

[CBEMT]

Ok, fine- I'll be the asshole.

Why is it that the least experienced people always want to tell us what the "rules" of EMS are? Or the "you might be an EMT if..." crap, 90% of which they've only read about or seen on Turd Watch?

Never understood it.

[DwayneEMTP]

Actually I thought it was a pretty good list, and I've been doing this a few days now... And you can bet your ass that that list was created by someone that's been around, whether or not it was posted by a noob.

Numbers 20 and 21 need to come off, as not only aren't they really funny, they are completely inaccurate in my experience...

And #27? Mehhhh....

Dwayne

[Chief1C]

Ok, fine- I'll be the asshole.

Why is it that the least experienced people always want to tell us what the "rules" of EMS are? Or the "you might be an EMT if..." crap, 90% of which they've only read about or seen on Turd Watch?

Never understood it.

Well, since it's under "Funny Stuff", why take it seriously? This is simple humor with some ironic truths; copied and pasted.. Over and over, again.

Edited November 11, 2010 by 4c6

[CBEMT]

Over and over, again.

A-yup.

[ERDoc]

I think it's funny and somewhat true. I agree with Dwayne, #20 and 21 are not true. #27 needs to go. A few I would add:

10b. A screaming child is a breathing child.

40. The severity of a person's injuries is directly related to their contribution to society

41. If your patient is a nice guy, there is a good chance he has cancer or some other lethal pathology

Edited November 12, 2010 by ERDoc

[speedygodzilla]

Funny stuff but unfortunately I did the opposite of rule #5

5. The more equipment you see on a EMTs belt, the newer they are.

I have added more equipment to my belt as the years go on but I think I have reach full capacity with cell phone, pager, radio, flashlight, and knife.

I have to say I agree with the above edits.

[tskstorm]

Funny stuff but unfortunately I did the opposite of rule #5

5. The more equipment you see on a EMTs belt, the newer they are.

I have added more equipment to my belt as the years go on but I think I have reach full capacity with cell phone, pager, radio, flashlight, and knife.

I have to say I agree with the above edits.

Lighten the load if you can its bad for your back!