Words for men to live by

[Happiness]

This is for those of you who may think Im a bit of a Man Basher...

1. Aspire to be Ken - He has Barbie and is able to keep her in the lifestyle that she deserves.

2. If the shoe fits - Buy lots as you will need them for that long walk home because you said a dumb man thing.

3. Take you wife with a pinch of salt, a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila - she may then forget you said a dumb man thing.

4. In need of a support group? Stripclub with the boys.

5. Go on a 30 day diet - yep got nothing

6. When life gets you down - Get your wife to get it back up.

7. Let your greatest fear be PMS - Enough said

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They have naked boobies there

9. Lead me not into temptation, I was already led there by the nice girl on the corner.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; It solves nothing, makes you walk funny and the neighbouts think your alittle light in the loafers

11. When your wife gives you lemons - Turn into lemonade then mix it with vodka, give it your wife, say I'm sorry, again you said a dumb man thing to get the lemons in the first place.

12. Remember wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married woman...she is Canadian

13. Keep your chin up - again nothing

14. If it has boobs and a vajaja its going to give you trouble once a month for 20 years and then there is menopause.

15. By the time a man realizes his mother was right, he has a wife who thinks he's wrong.

[Happiness]

Well since I couldnt edit this.....I just wanted all of you to know that this is all said in fun and is not to offend anyone. If you are offended Im sorry that you read it. Personally I think men are great and once in awhile they need to be told that, so please just smile when you read it.

Happiness (makes the world go round and round)

[emtannie]

Happi, you knew I had to add to this (and I can't wait to hear what Dwayne will say!)

"1. Aspire to be Ken - He has Barbie and is able to keep her in the lifestyle that she deserves."

- but Ken can't give Barbie what she really wants..... a good lay....

"6. When life gets you down - Get your wife to get it back up."

- this does not apply to Ken.... for the reasons we all know...

"7. Let your greatest fear be PMS - Enough said"

- this is the best advice EVER!

- more wars could be solved by sending in a group of women with PMS to beat the crap out of the evil enemy than by using any WMD.

- remember that old joke "my boyfriend laughed when I told him I had PMS.... so I stabbed him.."

"12. Remember wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married woman...she is Canadian"

- absolutely!

[DwayneEMTP]

...1. Aspire to be Ken - He has Barbie and is able to keep her in the lifestyle that she deserves.

And she better continue to deserve it or he'll trade her skinny ass in on a 40 year old with some meat on her bones and some mad bedroom skills...

...2. If the shoe fits - Buy lots as you will need them for that long walk home because you said a dumb man thing.

But you can bet your ass I'll be walking home whistling, with a spring in my step, having been ready to escape anyway... :-)

...3. Take you wife with a pinch of salt, a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila - she may then forget you said a dumb man thing.

We do agree on this. Keeping the chicks liquored up certainly makes them more agreeable..

...4. In need of a support group? Stripclub with the boys.

Women always complain about this, but you seem to forget that on several occasions we've asked YOU to get naked with some of your friends in the privacy of our own home! We'd even be happy to poke dollar bills in convenient places.... It's a shame that you force us out into the world for our simple pleasures...

...5. Go on a 30 day diet - yep got nothing

The good news is that tequila fits right into a low carb diet!

The dreaded, "You have exceeded the maximum number of quoted....yadda yadda yadda"

Edited November 9, 2010 by DwayneEMTP

[MattW]

Agree with #12

This is for those of you who may think Im a bit of a Man Basher...

1. Aspire to be Ken - He has Barbie and is able to keep her in the lifestyle that she deserves.

2. If the shoe fits - Buy lots as you will need them for that long walk home because you said a dumb man thing.

3. Take you wife with a pinch of salt, a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila - she may then forget you said a dumb man thing.

4. In need of a support group? Stripclub with the boys.

5. Go on a 30 day diet - yep got nothing

6. When life gets you down - Get your wife to get it back up.

7. Let your greatest fear be PMS - Enough said

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They have naked boobies there

9. Lead me not into temptation, I was already led there by the nice girl on the corner.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; It solves nothing, makes you walk funny and the neighbouts think your alittle light in the loafers

11. When your wife gives you lemons - Turn into lemonade then mix it with vodka, give it your wife, say I'm sorry, again you said a dumb man thing to get the lemons in the first place.

12. Remember wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married woman...she is Canadian

13. Keep your chin up - again nothing

14. If it has boobs and a vajaja its going to give you trouble once a month for 20 years and then there is menopause.

15. By the time a man realizes his mother was right, he has a wife who thinks he's wrong.

[Cookie]

16. when the previous 15 fail, try "Yes Dear"

[brentleymetcalf]

"7. Let your greatest fear be PMS - Enough said"

- this is the best advice EVER!

- more wars could be solved by sending in a group of women with PMS to beat the crap out of the evil enemy than by using any WMD.

- remember that old joke "my boyfriend laughed when I told him I had PMS.... so I stabbed him.."

Wanna know why it's called PMS?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!