emtannie Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 There have been some great posts from others on this thread… good to see the positive contributions! Just a couple days before this thread appeared, one of the medics I work the same rotation with regularly referred to his partner as “my work wife.” We all laughed about it, but then discussed it in more detail. Working 12 hour shifts on a 4 on, 4 off rotation, especially if your spouse works a regular 8 – 5 job, means that you spend more time with your work partner than you do with your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend. This can cause stress at home, especially if your work partner and you get along very well. I’m not talking you and your partner getting along well in that you have an intimate relationship, but you know how there are some people you work with where it just clicks – they know what you need, and what the patient needs, and you just seem to work calls smoothly, and get along in between calls too. Do you come home to your significant other and spend time telling them about your day, and every sentence starts with “my partner….” Even if unintentional, this can make your significant other feel like someone else is taking their place. Like many other jobs, EMS takes a lot of effort, and even during time away from work, many spend that time reading the latest journals, keeping up on their CEU’s, and heading to the gym. Is time with your fiancé coming in second to these other things? Others have said – make sure that you schedule specific times where you spend time with her. When you are off the clock, your home life should come first. For those that are passionate about EMS, this can be difficult, as loving the work you do can be so consuming. Remember…. You don’t live to work, you work to live…. Appreciate the time that you have away from work, and appreciate the time you have with her. …. In the long run, that is the important part of life – the time you spend with those you love. I am glad to see that you have gone to counselling – keep it up! Having an outside person who can look at both of your opinions and concerns objectively is a huge help, and the fact that you are willing to take that step is a good sign that you want your relationship to work. All the best to you! 1
Richard B the EMT Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) It is established already that teamed personnel, especially LEOs and EMSers, just due to the hours working together, spend more time together than married couples. Unfortunately, after some time, most of us note the colleages who get divorced, following infidelity on someone's part. The perfect couple? No longer married.They met on a volunteer ambulance service, and she went on to the municipal EMS. She had a baby by her work partner, following an emotional trauma of the male/female team being robbed at gunpoint, while on an assignment. When told his wife had been robbed at work, the husband was very supportive, but apparently, her work partner was more so. Result? A baby, and her second marraige. Both are remarried, her for now a third time, and neither are involved with EMS anymore. If either one looks, I have both of them friended on Facebook, but I usually don't mention one when I suspect the other might read any specific postings I make. To the above, I mention the work tours are 8 hour days, evenings, or overnights. We work 5 days, off 2 days, work another 5 days, then off 3 days. One week you're working with one of your two partners for 2 days, the other, 3 days, the next week with the first partner for 3 daqys, the second for 2 days. Confusing? Yes. PM me if an explanation is requested (via EMT City, otherwise, make sure EMT City is in the subject line). Edited February 15, 2011 by Richard B the EMT
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