Funny Christmas Songs

[uglyEMT]

Jingle Bells (EMS Version)

Dashing through the snow

In a BLS rig today,

Over the fields we go,

Sirens wailing away;

Tones on plextron ring,

Making spirits sigh,

What fun it is to ride and sing

An EMS song tonight

EMS, EMS,

EMS all the way!

O what fun it is to ride

In a BLS rig today

A day or two ago,

I thought I'd take a ride,

And soon ALS

Was seated by my side;

The car was busted and fright;

Misfortune seemed his lot;

He got into a drifted bank,

And we got called.

EMS, EMS,

EMS all the way!

What fun it is to ride

In a BLS rig today.

A day or two ago,

The story I must tell

I went out on the snow

And on my back I fell;

A gent was riding by

In a BLS rig that day,

He got out

Straight away,

Spinal precautions he took

Now on a backboard I lay

EMS, EMS,

EMS all the way!

What fun it is to ride

In a BLS rig today.

Now the ground is white

Goto an MVA,

Take ALS along

And sing this EMS song;

Just get on a BLS rig

Have a fire monkey drive

Two-forty as his speed

Hold on tight

And crack! a lawyer he will need.

EMS, EMS,

EMS all the way!

What fun it is to ride

In a BLS rig today.

Winter Wonderland (EMS Version)

Plextron bells ring, are you listening,

In the lane, an MVA is occuring,

A frightful sight,

We're extricating tonight,

Working EMS in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,

Here to stay is a new bird

He sings a new song,

As we cot surf along,

Working EMS in a winter wonderland.

In the apartment we find SOB,

Then hear about chest pain

He'll say: I'm fine let me stay!

We'll say: No man,

You can do the job

When you're ALS in town.

Later on, we'll have CPR,

As we work very tired

To face unafraid,

The lives that we've saved,

Working EMS in a winter wonderland.

In the bar we'll find a drunk man,

And be told that he feel down

We'll have lots of fun with spider straps,

And get him all tied down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,

Knowing all the tires will be spinnin'

We'll get called all day, the dispatcher says hey,

Working EMS in a winter wonderland.

Working EMS in a winter wonderland,

Working EMS in a winter wonderland.

[uglyEMT]

Rocking Around The Christmas Tree

(EMS Version)

Rockin around the Ambulance

On the bench seat I flop

IV hung where I can see

Every couple of drops

Rocking around the Ambulance,

Let the LP12 run a strip

Later we'll push some medicine

And we'll do some cot surfing.

You will get a pucker

Feeling when you hear

Voices screaming help my baby,

Back slaps and a pedi mask in a hurry

Rocking around the Ambulance,

Have an expecting mother on the way

Everyones gowning up

Its going to be messy along the way.

[Richard B the EMT]

Perhaps you are the person to recall the non Christmas song, "50 Ways To Kill your Patient"? I've been trying to get a copy of the lyrics for years.

[uglyEMT]

Im guessing the song is based off of Paul Simons 50 ways to leave your lover song.

I can give it a crack....