fakingpatience Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 I'm not quite sure where to start this. Right now I am worried because I'm not sure if I am actually depressed, or if this will pass soon. Let me start at sorta the beginning. About 7 months ago I moved across country, the main reason was to get a paid EMS job. I have been working at my current EMS company as an EMT for about 6 months now. I love being an EMT, and EMS is something I really think I am passionate about and want to make my career, but not here. My current job is just that, a job, not a career. However, it is a really good set up to be able to go to medic school in the fall and finish next year, then move on. My trouble now is coming from my coworkers. I have a couple people I work with who I consider friends, but I have also managed to get people here who don't like working with me, and a few who strongly dislike me, and are consistently rude. My friends at work asked other people what their problem with me is, and basically it boils down to me being too assertive and asking to many questions. I ask questions so I can learn more, but I guess I am coming off wrong, and it sounds like I am questioning people's judgement on calls. I am making a conscious effort to change that, thinking even more before I speak, but I don't know how well it is working- it is difficult to change people's minds when they are already made up about you. Honestly, right now, while I know I need to hear constructive criticism, and what I can change, I need to hear what I am doing right. I am getting so frustrated being around people who dislike me, it is making me dislike my job (I am a person who seeks the approval of others...). I go out of my way to pick up overtime with people who I get along well with so I can have a good shift and remember why I like my job. But for the day to day, I constantly feel 'down' at work, and not as happy as I used to be. I think another problem is I really don't have a life outside of work here. I don't know anyone else (it is hard to meet new people outside of work when you just randomly move to another place!) so I am more invested in my job then most people here are. I guess I don't really know what kind of advise I am looking for, just wanted to get this out there to see if anyone had any words of wisdom
Happiness Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Well first of all you are not going to like everybody you meet and not everyone is going to like you, so in the beginning of your career deal with it, thats life. The other point is and I may be wrong but you didnt mention when you ask your questions. When Im doing my stuff with new people I dont mind them asking ANY question but I do perfer it at the end of the call not while Im with the patient, but it does depend on the sercumstances. I hope you tough it out and carry on in your education as this can be a very rewarding career and when you find the right place you will be fine. happy
Lone Star Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Asking questions is how people gain new tidbits of information and that leads to increasing knowledge. If they feel you're second guessing them, then they need to step up and ask questions as well. It doesn't have to end up developing into an argument, fisticuffs or other methods of fighting. As far as socializing, I tend to keep my distance from socializing with coworkers. I don't need stories and rumors circulating around the workplace about what I did 'out at the bar last night'. I'm a firm believer that I didn't apply to the company to be able to fill in my social calendar. Not only that, but my 'socializing time' is just that; I don't want to fill my off duty hours with company gossip, 'talking shop' or anything else even remotely involving my job. The whole purpose of socializing is to get away from all the daily B/S and meet people that have nothing to do with what I do for a living. Yes, randomly picking up and moving to an unknown area can be daunting by itself, but you CAN get through it, and even make new friends. There is no rule that says you can only socialize with the people you work with. Find something YOU like to do, find out where it's being done and go there....meet new friends.....you ARE allowed to have 'non EMS friends' too!
fakingpatience Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 Well first of all you are not going to like everybody you meet and not everyone is going to like you, so in the beginning of your career deal with it, thats life. The other point is and I may be wrong but you didnt mention when you ask your questions. When Im doing my stuff with new people I dont mind them asking ANY question but I do perfer it at the end of the call not while Im with the patient, but it does depend on the sercumstances. I hope you tough it out and carry on in your education as this can be a very rewarding career and when you find the right place you will be fine. happy I thought I asked the questions after the calls, but according to what they told my friends (no one will say things to people's face here) I asked a few during calls. I know in my head that I'm not supposed to ask the questions on scene of a call/ around others, and as I said, that is one of the things I am making a conscious effort now about. Also, it has been more of the new medics, who are less sure of themselves that I have been annoying with it then the ones who have been medics for a while. Lonestar, I agree that I need to make friends outside of work, I am just having trouble doing that. I guess before now I was always in school, and my friends were either from school, a sports team, or one of my jobs. Now all I have is work, no sports teams or school, which are nice easy places to meet people, I need to figure out how other 'adults' find friends.
Happiness Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 As I re read that post I sounded alittle short, sorry about that. If your use to doing alot and now your just working you need to go out and find some sporty stuff and start to enjoy life, trust me it goes bye pretty fast. Dont worry it does get better
HERBIE1 Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Not sure of your location, faking, so it's hard to determine opportunities available to you. I would suggest getting involved in something that has nothing to do with EMS. It could be as simple as grabbing a book from the local bookstore/library, finding a nice coffee shop and reading, or taking a free class on a craft or hobby you are interested in. Dance lessons, book club- anything. You never know what may happen- you find someone with a shared interest, or just a simple conversation. Trust me, regardless of how much you enjoy EMS, you need to have a break from it too. Years ago I was totally immersed in the business. Working on a private full time, working at 2-3 ER's part time, working medical at special events. It was too much. I decided to go back to school just for fun. Took accounting and computer classes. Best thing I could have done. It makes you realize there is life outside of our world. I'm of the opinion that often we gravitate towards people in the same field simply because of the shared experiences, and I see no harm in that. Few understand what we do. I also think it's mandatory to have friends and acquaintances outside the field- it really gives you perspective. Over time, EMS 24/7 can really burn you out, and that helps neither you nor your patients. Good luck. 1
BushyFromOz Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Not sure of your location, faking, so it's hard to determine opportunities available to you. I would suggest getting involved in something that has nothing to do with EMS. It could be as simple as grabbing a book from the local bookstore/library, finding a nice coffee shop and reading, or taking a free class on a craft or hobby you are interested in. Dance lessons, book club- anything. You never know what may happen- you find someone with a shared interest, or just a simple conversation. Trust me, regardless of how much you enjoy EMS, you need to have a break from it too. +5 for that. I had pretty much what your describing about a bit over a year ago, the most serious case of melancholy and generalised not giving a rats ass about anything, especially work. I was irritated, snappy and just a general pain in the ass. I had insomnia and ended up with depression from the cumulative fatigue. it all came to a head 6 weeks before my wedding and quite frankly it tarnished what should have been one of the best parts of my life. The real change i made in the end had nothing to do with work (including ditching emtcity for a bit). I cashed in the annual leave i had and when i came back to work i stopped driving myself at study and revision, I stopped being lured by overtime, started putting money towards my hobbies and made every effort to avoid work related things on my days off. 18 months on and im back in love with my job, more in love with my hobbiess, sleep soundly, depression is gone and dont give work a moments thought when im not there.
crotchitymedic1986 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Good advice from all, I would steer you towards whatever you enjoy as a hobby or fun. When you go to the place you do that, you will find other people who have the same interest. Like reading, go to the library or book store and hang out, or join a club. Like jogging, join a running club. Whatever you enjoy, go do it. If you dont have anything, then it is time to start something new you think you might enjoy.
HERBIE1 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 +5 for that. I had pretty much what your describing about a bit over a year ago, the most serious case of melancholy and generalised not giving a rats ass about anything, especially work. I was irritated, snappy and just a general pain in the ass. I had insomnia and ended up with depression from the cumulative fatigue. it all came to a head 6 weeks before my wedding and quite frankly it tarnished what should have been one of the best parts of my life. The real change i made in the end had nothing to do with work (including ditching emtcity for a bit). I cashed in the annual leave i had and when i came back to work i stopped driving myself at study and revision, I stopped being lured by overtime, started putting money towards my hobbies and made every effort to avoid work related things on my days off. 18 months on and im back in love with my job, more in love with my hobbiess, sleep soundly, depression is gone and dont give work a moments thought when im not there. Great post, and great object lesson, bushy. Glad you pulled yourself out of it, dude. I can relate to what you are saying- believe me. For better or for worse, this is the type of work that gets in your blood. For awhile, I too lived, slept, and breathed EMS. It does get to you after awhile. You lose perspective on things, and your entire life seems to revolve around the job. Then you get married and start a family and those distractions you counted on to keep your sanity(hobbies, vacations, etc) become a lot more difficult to indulge. Your priorities shift, but you still need those diversions to keep your sanity. Not an easy task. Now obviously it depends on where you work, how busy you are, and how much you are paid. I see many folks in my busy urban system get burned out- it's not hard to do. Having friends in the business is fine- as long as you can do things and talk about things unrelated to the job. I tend to enjoy associating with people in the business- similar personalities, ideas, problems, viewpoints, but that also does not mean we talk EMS 24/7. Politics, sports, vacations, hobbies, music- anything. I also really associating with civilians, since their issues are quite different than mine. Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's not. Problem is, they also want to hear war stories and inevitably the conversation steers back to EMS anyway. LOL Now, I enjoy teaching on the side- still related, but in a totally different context. I get to use what I have learned- book-wise and experience- and hopefully offer insights for the next generation. I am also expanding my teaching skills, branching out into other subjects, and even am BEGINNING the process of writing a book about EMS leadership and administration issues.
fakingpatience Posted March 23, 2011 Author Posted March 23, 2011 Thanks everyone. It is nice to know just that other people have 'been there' and gotten through it staying in EMS. After much searching (because they don't have anything about it online) I found a sports team here that I will love practicing with, and that is sure to help me distress! I also am going to talk to the HR person at my work about a few of the personnel issues I've been having, because some people are making it miserable for me at work, and I am hoping that we can actually get it resolved (I have tried talking to the people and it got worse ) So hopefully things will be on the upswing here soon!
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