Dear.....

[emtannie]

A friend sent me this - enjoy!

*************************

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling, Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada

Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google

Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985

Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Rose, There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us. Sincerely, Jack PS, you let go

Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP

Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God

Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn, Please lknvfdmv.xvn. Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickleback, That's enough. Sincerely, The World

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people

Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Mary, Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand. Sincerely, Joseph

Dear Osama Bin Laden, Marco.... Sincerely, United States

Dear World of Warcraft, Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity. Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

Dear Anne Frank, Two can play this game.... Sincerely, Waldo

Dear Batman, What was your power again? Sincerely, Superman

Dear Customers, Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Global Warming, You're the best imaginary friend ever! Sincerely, Al Gore

Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol

Dear Mr. Gump WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get.... Sincerely, Jenny

Dear Katy Perry, I liked the kiss too. Sincerely, Justin Beiber

Dear Haiti, Is it too early to ask what's shakin'? Sincerely, Seriously Going To Hell

Dear Martin Luther King Jr. I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now? Sincerely, Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans

Dear Snooki, GET BACK TO WORK! Sincerely, Willy Wonka

Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans

Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall, Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go? Sincerely, Terrified

Dear Trash, At least you get picked up... Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil, Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first. Sincerely, Dr. Pepper

Dear Women, I can't read your mind so just tell me what's wrong or I am going to "Pretend" everything is fine Sincerely, Men

Dear Women, Your shopping experience is of absolutely no interest to me! Sincerely, Men

[emtcutie]

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Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic

Edited March 27, 2011 by emtcutie

[Lone Star]

well see now, in the fourth twilight book bella gets preggo by vampire boy

but these are really good

Artificial insemination?

Bella was a tramp, and only BLAMED ‘vampire boy’?

Ain’t it a bitch when logic beats the snot out of fantasy?

ROFLMAO

[scubanurse]

well see now, in the fourth twilight book bella gets preggo by vampire boy

darn...now the whole series is ruined... i wanted sooooooooo badly to read all about it

[emtcutie]

darn...now the whole series is ruined... i wanted sooooooooo badly to read all about it

ahahaha ahh well LOL

[MetalMedic]

Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin

I think I inhaled my purple skittle!

These are from the website: Dear Blank Please Blank.

One of my favorite ones is:

Dear Diet Coke,

You're over reacting.

Love,

Mentos.

-MetalMedic

[Del_Lacuy]

Artificial insemination?

Bella was a tramp, and only BLAMED 'vampire boy'?

Ain't it a bitch when logic beats the snot out of fantasy?

ROFLMAO

Perhaps she had a go with Jacob? They can go on Maury and sort out who the real baby's daddy is.

EDIT: for grammar.

Edited April 7, 2011 by Del_Lacuy

[emtcutie]

Perhaps she had a go with Jacob? They can go on Maury and sort out who the real baby's daddy is.

EDIT: for grammar.

OMGAHHHH think i just died... lol

Edited April 8, 2011 by emtcutie

[Richard B the EMT]

I must be showing my age. I remember when Maury Povich had decent shows, that were not punctuated by shouts of "You are NOT the father", or He IS the female impersonator". An old girlfriend of mine appeared, on an "Adoptees Meet Birth Families" segment, in 1996.

[emtcutie]

I must be showing my age. I remember when Maury Povich had decent shows, that were not punctuated by shouts of "You are NOT the father", or He IS the female impersonator". An old girlfriend of mine appeared, on an "Adoptees Meet Birth Families" segment, in 1996.

haha my friends and i watch that show when we want to feel more intelligent