Anyone else sick of relationships?

[swedemedic]

Sorry all, maybe I'm just older and ornerier....but does anyone else share some level of disgust for members of the opposite sex who just don't understand our desire to do this job?

Maybe I'm too brash, but when someone goes hunting for a month at a time, yet doesn't want me to continue with my training and goal of becoming a remote-site paramedic, it rubs me the wrong way.

Is there such a thing as a "happy medium" mate? Someone who's part bad ass and not afraid to say what's on his mind - and not afraid to hear what's on mine? and part human - and not afraid to admit mistakes and move on - and offer the same in return?

Lord have mercy - what the hell is going on in the world nowadays?

Just needed to vent - my apologies to DwayneEMTP for getting back on this site per your suggestion - and going right to the "personal" forum )

Thanks for the ear all,

K

[Fox]

It's not just you feeling that way. Luckily I found someone who supports me. He may not always like it, but he appreciates that I have a good job and that I earned it. Also, I stand behind his decisions as well.

I'm not sure why a lot of people feel the need to frown on their significant other work EMS. I'd move on and find someone who supports your decisions.

[MetalMedic]

I'm forever single by choice so I don't have to deal with this relationship stuff! Good luck to you though.

That is until I meet my dream doctor and we live happily ever after, right Dwayne?

-MetalMedic

[EMT338]

I feel you, my two career choices are EMT and athletic trainer.....both have weird hours and a life style all there own. I worry that I won't find someone who supports that and further more, would stand by me through all the ups and downs. Guess you gotta keep trying and hope that that magic will find you. Good luck

[DwayneEMTP]

I'm forever single by choice so I don't have to deal with this relationship stuff! Good luck to you though.

That is until I meet my dream doctor and we live happily ever after, right Dwayne?

-MetalMedic

Right MM! :-)

Where I think that too many people go off into the ditch is blaming the job, or the training/education process for these issues. When I was finishing my medic I had a 50/wk minimum commitment to work, 28hr/week class schedule and 48hrs/wk of clinicals...and my wife didn't leave me, or hate me, or complain at me. She understood that it was the price I had to pay to help insure that I would never again have to beg for a $10/hr job. And I've never had too either.

Now, I am away from home at least two weeks/month sometimes more, and she doesn't really love it, but she understands that I'm more happy, and manly, and macho when I get to go and play my medic games..and she likes me like that, so she wins as do I..so again, we do what we need to do, what is good for us. I also think that I am better for me, and for my family when I get to go off and get paid to go to interesting places and do interesting things, so it all works out in the end. Besides, the weeks home is like a really long, horny, happy honeymoon...and that forgives a lot.

If I was home and working the streets again, we would adjust for that and again be ridiculously happy. If I was unemployed (knock on wood) we would adjust...etc, etc, etc. Or we could choose to be selfish and bullheaded, be unhappy and allow those life situations to be blamed for our unhappiness instead of our attitudes and choices.

K, that guy doesn't have an issue with your independence because he's a man, but because he's a coward and an asshole. You two have an amazing opportunity to live really cool, though often separate, lives, but he's not mature enough to do that. If you want to date mental/emotional midgets then you have to accept that you'll never get to ride the really cool, sexy, toe curling roller coasters..it's just a fact of life.

Word of advice to all in EMS. If you believe that your relationship is being ruined by EMS you're simply kidding yourself. I don't care how many hours you work, how bloody you get, what your spouse does for a living...etc, etc. Every single gloriously happy couple I've ever met has worked, gone to school, had responsibilities....and not any of them that I am aware of earned their living sitting home together reading self help books. EMS has a really, really nasty habit of wanting itself to be 'special' and 'harder' than all of the other professions...it's not for the vast majority of providers. Some relationships are just not meant to be. But for some reason people seem to believe that even if your life sucks, you're supposed to suck it up and go on 'loving' whoever you're stuck with. I'm going to blame religion for much of that and simple insecurity for the rest.

If you're spending more time working on your relationship than you're spending getting laid then you need to get help, or get out, as something is broken. Sorry all. I'm really not trying to sound really arrogant. But EMS truly, no matter how hard we try and make it a hero sport, isn't. It's a hobby for some, a job for others, and a career for many of us, but we're never going to shoot Osama. We're never going to be better or stronger or more stressed than other professions unless we choose so. Why? Because the dynamics really aren't that different.

K, the little bit of time we've spent getting to know each other tells me that you are a little worn out, have a lot on your plate right now, with a long way to go...and perhaps it's helping you to be a little less secure than you would normally be and causing you to hang onto this douche longer than you should. I have nothing but respect for you...but it sounds as if that is not the case for the man/boy that you describe. Chicks like to say that all of the good men are taken...I just refuse to believe that that is true, as men say the same about women, and yet every day I meet strong, beautiful, sexy, confident women...perhaps they're just not man enough for them?

MM, you are a peach. You're posts are intelligent, funny, often sexy. I love everything about them..if we ever find ourselves in the same neighborhood I'd consider it a favor if you'd let me buy you a cup of coffee.

Keep your chin up K...You're having a few bad weeks...but compared to what you've come through in life, they're not going to even remain a blip on the radar for long...and not to worry...I'll start looking for you a decent boyfriend...you can count on me!

Dwayne

Sorry all, maybe I'm just older and ornerier hornier...

Fixed that for you

And no need to apologize for coming back to this thread. You came back, and I'm grateful for that...you belong here. You wait and see if I'm not right...

Dwayne

[hatelilpeepees]

I am not stating this about the poster, as I do not know her, but it is obvious to me why people in this room would have relationship problems. Since I could not post as a new member, I have spent the past week reading the discussions in this forum, and I have noticed a trend ----- Most every discussion turns negative, there is rarely any "positive" discussions, everyone is quick to jump down a poster's throat. There are too many old timers in here who think they are "paragods" and are too quick to eat their young.

Take this challenge for me, pick any topic in today's forums and then read the various responses. Once you do that, ask yourself if you think the poster/responder was smiling when they typed their question or response ?

[hatelilpeepees]

I am not stating this about the poster, as I do not know her, but it is obvious to me why people in this room would have relationship problems. Since I could not post as a new member, I have spent the past week reading the discussions in this forum, and I have noticed a trend ----- Most every discussion turns negative, there is rarely any "positive" discussions, everyone is quick to jump down a poster's throat. There are too many old timers in here who think they are "paragods" and are too quick to eat their young.

Take this challenge for me, pick any topic in today's forums and then read the various responses. Once you do that, ask yourself if you think the poster/responder was smiling when they typed their question or response ?

[Kaisu]

I am not stating this about the poster, as I do not know her, but it is obvious to me why people in this room would have relationship problems. Since I could not post as a new member, I have spent the past week reading the discussions in this forum, and I have noticed a trend ----- Most every discussion turns negative, there is rarely any "positive" discussions, everyone is quick to jump down a poster's throat. There are too many old timers in here who think they are "paragods" and are too quick to eat their young.

Take this challenge for me, pick any topic in today's forums and then read the various responses. Once you do that, ask yourself if you think the poster/responder was smiling when they typed their question or response ?

Everything was going pretty good... till this negative and ornery post....

[DwayneEMTP]

I am not stating this about the poster, as I do not know her, but it is obvious to me why people in this room would have relationship problems. Since I could not post as a new member, I have spent the past week reading the discussions in this forum, and I have noticed a trend ----- Most every discussion turns negative, there is rarely any "positive" discussions, everyone is quick to jump down a poster's throat. There are too many old timers in here who think they are "paragods" and are too quick to eat their young.

Take this challenge for me, pick any topic in today's forums and then read the various responses. Once you do that, ask yourself if you think the poster/responder was smiling when they typed their question or response ?

I get where you might feel that way, but I'm curious how you would define negative? And you're screen name...isn't that kind of what you're talking about?

And CM is right, it was your post, in which you didn't even take a moment to address the posters question, that threw things off into the ditch. Many, including me would consider that negative.

I would truly be interested in discussing this with you, but, as with you, I've noticed a trend. Those that come to complain without also contributing, directed at this thread alone, rarely hang around to continue. They seem to feed their "I'm a better person that all of them!" need in the one or two drive by's and then hit the road.

I truly hope that you turn out to be in exception. After all, telling a person that they're hungry isn't a kindness if you can't be bothered to take a moment to teach them to search for food...

Dwayne

[Just Plain Ruff]

I am not stating this about the poster, as I do not know her, but it is obvious to me why people in this room would have relationship problems. Since I could not post as a new member, I have spent the past week reading the discussions in this forum, and I have noticed a trend ----- Most every discussion turns negative, there is rarely any "positive" discussions, everyone is quick to jump down a poster's throat. There are too many old timers in here who think they are "paragods" and are too quick to eat their young.

Take this challenge for me, pick any topic in today's forums and then read the various responses. Once you do that, ask yourself if you think the poster/responder was smiling when they typed their question or response ?

I know many on this forum have good strong relationships that have weathered thick and thin. Mine is no exception.

Almost every thread I respond to I smile when I'm posting. I'm smiling now at this posting.

Many times that things turn negative is when someone comes in and stirs the pot or makes a outlandish post reply.

You will find that many on this forum have been there done that and it may look like we are jumping down someones throat but we "have" been there done that. We see someone going off the side of the road on their responses to the threads and it may look like we are jumping down their throats but I see it as a "parental" thought process that we don't want that poster to make the same mistakes that we have made.

And yet, your first response to this thread turned it negative by casting aspersions of negativeness.

I can't be in the same room with you, your Aura is too clouded man!!!

Just kidding.

I am sure if you stick around longer that you will see the parental aspect of this site as a good thing and not a bad thing.