MEN ARE HAPPY

[Happiness]

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

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o If Laura, Kate and Connie go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Connie.

o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Nohair.

EATING OUT

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o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

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o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

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o A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

o The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

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o A woman has the last word in any argument.

o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

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o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

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o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

o A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

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o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

o A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

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o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

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o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

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o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances,best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

[FireEMT2009]

Definately a new spin to man vs. woman jokes. Made me laugh. Nice! Gonna share with some of my buddies!

[Richard B the EMT]

I have heard it said, that a man curses to avoid crying, and a woman cries to avoid cursing. Don't know of the veracity of that, because I have been known to do both, simultaneously.

[tniuqs]

Richard .. you most obviously have never met my ex .. insert screaming where you see crying.

[Aprz]

BATHROOMS

•

o A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

o The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

What happened to shampoos?

[Happiness]

That is included in the bar of soap

[fireemsworld1]

Too Funny. Had me laughing from the beginning to the end.

[lilsisemt]

laughed all the way thru, sadly I see myself in all