Truths for grown up folks...

[DwayneEMTP]

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your browser history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

[emtannie]

Dwayne.... please please PLEASE delete my browser history if I die...

Why fold a fittes sheet anyways? No one will see it.

#10: Bad decisions make good stories.. AND KEEP ME EMPLOYED...

I think another one to add to your list is: does anyone know what that blue screen of death on the computer really is? We all know it is bad, but then what?

[nypamedic43]

Dwayne I read this and actually snorted milk out of my nose!!! Ok it was coffee but same pain in the sinus.

Ok...#5. unfolded fitted sheets drive me IN--sane. I found a video on how to do it. I will find it for you.

# 15- I hate that as well. And yes they did drop the phone and run away.

# 17- I do that too lol

[Richard B the EMT]

Both Momma B and I saw an episode of Martha Stewart, where even SHE admitted there is NO correct way to fold a fitted sheet!

[BushyFromOz]

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your browser history if you die.

A mate of mine committed suicide a couple of months back, i the leter to his brother he asked him to clear the history and "photo collection" off his computer and get rid of his sex tys before his parents arrived.

[DwayneEMTP]

A mate of mine committed suicide a couple of months back, i the leter to his brother he asked him to clear the history and "photo collection" off his computer and get rid of his sex tys before his parents arrived.

The world is so funny. Everyone has their fetishes and perversions but we're all supposed to pretend like we don't.

And no worries Annie...I got your back Babe...

Dwayne

[snoopy911]

There so IS a way to fold a fitted sheet! it would be almost impossible to tell you though. I would have to show you. Now nobody come knocking down my door asking for sheet folding lessons. And Annie, it has to be folded right or it wont fit in the closet! lol

[uglyEMT]

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your browser history if you die.

LOL and the photo collection and you can have my magazine collection as well LOL

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

Nope doesn't happen my wife tells me when I am wrong and apparently I always am