Bad Luck Chuck

[Richard B the EMT]

Chuck always had bad luck.

One day, he decided to try skydiving. In the class before the jump, he was told,

We use a device called a "Static Cord". It will automatically open your chute when you jump. On the off chance that it doesn't work, count to 5, and pull the "D-Ring" on your left. Should that not work, count to 5 again, and pull the "D-Ring" on your right, which opens your emergency chute. We'll have a red pickup truck waiting for you on the ground to give you a ride back to the hangar.

Chuck got in the plane, and when the jumpmaster told him to jump, he did. The chute didn't open. Chuck counted, quickly, to 5, and pulled the "D-Ring on his left. but nothing happened. Even more quickly, he, again, counted to 5, and pullde the "D-Ring" on his right. Again, nothing happened.

Chuck thought to himself,

With my luck, that red pickup truck won't be down there, either!

Edited August 9, 2011 by Richard B the EMT

[BushyFromOz]

nice, i like that.

Ivan is walking in Belangalo forest with a backpacker he just met. The backpacker says "gee its dark and spooky in here isn't it?"

Ivan says "i dont know what your worried about, ive got to come back on my own"

(google "ivan milat" if ya'll dont get it)

Edited August 10, 2011 by BushyFromOz

[Lone Star]

I remember seeing a television show that featured him. Didn't the police also suspect his brother as an accomplice?

[Shamanwolf]

One cold morning, my unit wouldn't start. So I asked our wheelchair van driver, who, mind you was parked, (in the opposite direction) the next spot over with the engine running, for a jump off. His reply was," It's cold out there, can you turn it around so I don't have to?" I said no and he started getting pissy.. only to really get mad at me when the other patches started cackling hysterically at his stupidity. He only had to back it up 4 feet. Then a few days later he locked hisself and a w/c pt out of the van. 20 miles away. I had come in early to catch up on paperwork. So the supervisor called and asked me if l and my partner would go rescue him. "Sure, no problem." We left quickly over concern for the poor pt. Wine got there and sure enough the DRIVER's SIDE was locked. But not the passenger side. I was laughing so hard it nearly made me have a syncopal episode.. He still won't talk to me.. I couldn't NOT share this..!!

[Richard B the EMT]

Overheard on company radio:

"How the hell could you just let the Ambulette run out of fuel? That 'E' on the fuel gauge does NOT stand for ENOUGH!"

PS: After the manager brought a filled gas can and partially refueled the stuck truck, and the driver driven the vehicle first to the authorized gas station, then to the base, where the driver was almost immediately fired.

After looking up that name, must presume the name is more commonly known in New South Wales than the USA.

Edited December 10, 2013 by Richard B the EMT