another "and thats how the fight started"

[Happiness]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...................so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream........ And that's how the fight started.

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security . The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licenseto verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'.............. And that's how the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girl friend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'.............And that's how the fight started.....

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' ...............And that's how the fight started.....

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' ........................And that's how the fight started.....

[Richard B the EMT]

2 men had been arrested for disturbing the peace. The judge asked one of them, Mr. Johnson, what happened, and he answered, "We were having a difference of opinion".

"Couldn't you have settled the difference of opinion like gentlemen?"

"Your honor, that's just what me and Smitty were doing, in the alley behind the bar, when Officers O'Brien and Washington arrested the two of us!"

[HERBIE1]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...................so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....

*********************************************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream........ And that's how the fight started.

************************************************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security . The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licenseto verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said,'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'.............. And that's how the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girl friend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'.............And that's how the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' ...............And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' ........................And that's how the fight started.....

LMAO

Those were great.

[island emt]

Love is FOREVER...

An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.

She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names'.

The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.'

and thats how the fight began::::