Funny calls

[Lotus]

What was the funniest, strangest, most awkward, or just plain stupid calls you'vr had?

[Richard B the EMT]

After 38 years? Let's start with:

Working as a call taker for NYC EMS, got a call from a self admitted EDP, wanted to be taken to a specific hospital's Psychiatric ward, as "they have the equipment that will mask my life-signs from the Crystal Starship".

Later, I pulled the call up on the Computer Assisted Dispatch screen, and found the responding crew had made it an "Unfounded", as they didn't find a patient.

That, however, left me with a question. Had the patient gone via some alternate means to the hospital, changed his mind and simply walked away, or had the Klingon's gotten to him first?

Then, at the same call center, we were getting calls from a private garbage carting company, claimed he'd fallen off the back of the truck. I was one of several operators spoke with the guy, but each time he called in, his changed locations were each getting closer and closer to that neighborhood's hospital ER. What? Was he getting back on the truck and falling off again every few blocks?

[Lotus]

What? I'm so confused by people x.x like...the unfound and such....x.x that's a beautiful patient though xD

[Richard B the EMT]

As per the JEMS E-Newsletter today, some illegal immigrant called 9-1-1 for transportation off of a worksite where he'd had a disagreement with the boss. No real medical nessessity, just wanted transportation. Local LEOs arrested 10, and turned them over to Immigrations, where they now await deportation hearings.

As for the first call I referenced? The guy actually said he was already diagnosed as being an Emotionally Disturbed Person.

[Kiwiology]

Yes, I have two from my very last night shift in the back, so we're talking like two years ago here

1) 25yom tried to jump a retaining wall on his ten speed after consuming 12 beers, got halfway up and fell down, # ankle

2) 19yof jumped a fence at the local pool after being spotted by security with friends after hours, fell, ? # distal tib/fib

On the second one she says "thank goodness you's are here, the cops drove past, slowed down, said the ambos are coming, laughed at me and drove off!"

438 calls Ambulance, clearing, code silly people

The most bizzare I have had was about three years ago now, self inflicted burns with a fag lighter claiming got beaten up and robbed, the cops didn't buy it, neither did either of us or the IC so that was a bit weird, esp with me, the IC, the dog handler and his mum in the back

[BushyFromOz]

"the guy with the dust-buster"

Need i say more.....

[Lotus]

Yes.

[Richard B the EMT]

The guy with the Dust Buster?

Let me guess: Trying to use the device as a mechanical Viagra, and got stuck? Or worse, chewed on the end of the short arm by the mechanisms of the device?

[Kiwiology]

Now it wasn't mine but I remember a dude from back in the day with a six inch nail stuck in the lumen of his dick

HMMMMM

[BushyFromOz]

The guy with the Dust Buster?

Let me guess: Trying to use the device as a mechanical Viagra, and got stuck? Or worse, chewed on the end of the short arm by the mechanisms of the device?

drunk teens, dustbuster and a stupid prank... poor bastard cracked a chubby once the thing started sucking and in a panick withdrew quickly, slicing it open on a a sharp bit of the plastic shroud