Can't deal with suicidals

[medicnow911]

I think I'm a good paramedic and a very empathetic one too but when it comes to suicidal patients I have no tolerance whatsoever. My grandmother hanged herself when I was 8 y/o and I remember what my family went through. She was terminally ill so the family was somewhat understanding of her reasons. This past February my ex-husband, whom I was still good friends with, overdosed on Benadryl and his body was found two days after he "ran out to the store". He was found in the woods on the property of an Interstate rest stop. His truck was parked in front of the bathrooms with the keys left in the ignition. No note, no explanation. He was 33y/o and the father of my 16 y/o and 14y/o. He had remarried 18 mos before and had moved to Indiana so we hadn't seen him very much. Anyway ,whenever I have a pt. who threatens suicide or has made an attempt, I get so angry that I want to scream. These people have no clue what they would do to their family. The hardest thing I ever did in my life was to tell my kids their Dad had taken his own life. I am so angry at him. How can people be so SELFISH! Normally when I have this type of pt. I either have my partner attend the call or I bite my tongue during the entire call and barely say two words to the patient. Any ideas on how to relate better to these pt's without wanting to rip their heads off?

[emttut]

You just need to learn to take a step back and gain some perspective on things. You have to realize that most of the patients your transporting in this condition are mentally ill. Try not to take things personally. I too have been affected by suicide in my family. I have a grandfather that I never was able to know just because he decided to "end it all". It can be difficult, but we are there to help these people.

[Michael]

Your responses are normal and very hard to process alone.

A group that helps people affected by suicide, whether as individuals tempted to take their own lives, or as friends and family of sucidal persons, or as survivors of suicides, is http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm -- all their services are free and confidential, and they are experienced travelers in territory most people avoid.

[Comrade]

You just have to remind yourself that this person is a patient, not your buddy or some random schmoe. We have an obligation not to judge them, and to treat them with respect no matter how stupid/mean/thoughtless/whatever they are.

Not to mention the fact that you don't know what their situation might be. Maybe you think that suicide is never justifiable, but that really doesn't matter. This person could have severe depression, for example, or may not be in complete control of his or her actions due to some psychosis.

If you had a patient who was injured in a gun fight with police, for example, how would you treat him or her? Surely that's worse, but the fact remains that we are here to treat patients, not to judge them or correct their behaviour.

[Asysin2leads]

I can only say that your reaction is not an uncommon one. In many ways, suicide is just so selfish that it becomes unbearable. Its understandable that you get angry at suicides, or even suicidal people, because you find it conflicts with your sense of being altruistic, or giving to others. Try and remain objective, don't compare them to your own personal experiences, as hard as it may be. IMHO, suicides give off a bad vibe in general. I have yet to work a suicide scene where everyone from the crew to the cops to bystanders don't start acting uptight, tense, and short tempered.

[Guest]

The Suicidal Pt's that I've come across have been actually quite a few in my 2 years in the field. I've kinda categorized them to understand why they would try to kill themselves.

Category 1- are the ones who are not really wanting to die...just want the attention from ex g/f, b/f, spouse, mother, father, etc.,Not really taking or doing enough of anything to really kill themselves.

Category 2- Are the ones who do end up taking their own life...but by accident..not really meaning to but took or did enough of something that ended their life.

Category 3- Are the ones who suffer from something terminal and can not bare the pain any longer.

Category 4- Are those who are lonely....suffering a loss of a life long spouse...mother, father, brother, sister. or a child.

category 5- Are those suffering from deep depression, they just don't want to live any longer.

None of these are ever easy to understand or deal with for us health care providers....we are not trained to Annalise it....just treat it. But every time I always ask why did they want to kill themselves? And that is how I categorize it to understand just a little bit more of what the patients mentality is.

[supasta.]

Mabye stepping back and looking at these patients as an opportunity for you to help with a more personal touch. You need to be patient at the same time and avoid getting too personal, for your sake.

I can understand your trouble with this. Although I do not find the same with myself, I think we all have trouble with certain patients and situations.

[Guest]

As with EDP's and addicts that many look down upon because it's thought that they "do it to themselves" you need to sit back and get a good look at the person and remember it's someone's brother, sister, mother, father, daughter/son etc...in other words don't allow yourself to get personally involved don't let your heart take over. But again think about what a person goes through to end up at that point. I met a man the other night...EDP hearing voices...dirty, smelly just plain gross!!! He had brown stains down the back of his pants from having BM's on himself. I had to hold my hand over my face in the back of the ambulance due to his smell. He is also an alcoholic that drinks so much his brain is fried. And of course I want to hate him since first impressions is he does it to himself. Then as I read his chart...he's married but thrown out and his home is in a beautiful neighborhood...he still has parents living and caring about him and children but now he's homeless and pitiful. SOOOOO in the end he wasn't just another homeless guy he was a man a husband/father/son/brother who really is in bad shape and i am not one to judge since you don't know what brought him there. Many addictions are due to depression/mental illness so he may have been mentally ill to start with or maybe he just drank himself stupid. My point being is don't get angry or judgemental don't lecture or belittle just look deep down at the person who probably is trully suffering inside and needs comfort and understanding. As for your ex husband he must have had some sort of mental illness or severe depression he kept hidden for many years and finally couldn't stand hiding anymore. I don't think of a suicidal person as selfish I think of them as someone in true pain who needs help.

[kevkei]

Here's an interesting statistic I have found working with our local Mental Health Crisis Team. Less than 1% of people that claim to be suicidal will successfully act on it. The vast majority are attention seekers.

[BoCat9]

I know how it feels to deal with this, and I'm not even EMT. I have dealt with this in my family, with my mom. It scared me, and I found that all she needed was help and a different way to deal with stress. People who are sucidal just need a friend or someone to listen and help them sort out what is going on in their life. They have come to the edge, and feel like if they turn back, they will encounter the same things that they just came from, and they don't want to do that again. I know it's frustrating, but when they come out of it, the pts will know that people do care about them and are more willing to talk instead of act on the stressors, therefore leading them to a road of recovery. :wink: