Can't deal with suicidals

[emtpsaveu911]

The thing that i dont get with the way people accept and view suicide, are those people that will say "Suicide is so selfish, how could they be so selfish to kill themselves blah blah blah blah blah" and THEN at the same time will go "What about me? what about my feelings? Why didn't they think about me? they must not care about me?......so who's actually selfish here?

Think abou it.....

While suicide is in itself a very selfish act, like one person said on here i think when there is a serious mental illness attached to it i don't think selfishness would necessarily apply. Just a very serious illness this person couldn't escape from mentally. While on the other hand when you have someone doing it for other reasons such as seeing no way out like money problems, drugs, abuse, depression, when they could have found help somewhere from someone... I can see why that would be considered selfish in someones eyes. But these people who are turning around and saying "Why didn't they think about me?" or "What about my feelings?"... I think at that period in time are still going through the stages of grieving and that sounds like anger to me. I know because i went through the same thing. Although i still feel what my uncle did was selfish, at the same time I also think for anyone to actually go through with killing themselves they really have to be mentally ill at that point in their life. I will never know what was going through his mind that day or the pain he felt.

Believe me if you've ever had anybody in your life that you loved kill themselves you would understand all the Why's? and What if's?.

[InSanity_Clause]

My name is InSanity_Clause, we deal with everyday pains / issues: bills, weight gain, b/f dumped g/f/, divorce, g/f dumped b/f, who gets the kids, fight over kids, bills, having an affair, mother /father goes into a nursing home, bills, home alone, was fired, illness- do to stress, bills, family members -distraught- death due to suicidal in the family, Professionals in the EMS, Police, Fire Department, Donot forget that you are a human being, you are NOT beyond your capabilities of human take, your strength only allows you to handle so much, if you have that HEART of gold, warm fuzzy feeling that allows you to open up to that individual, then your in the right profession, but if you feel that your angry(normal reaction) and you've dealt with this before maybe you shouldnt be a EMT or Medic etc . . .

The world is disturbed because so much chaos, war, death, terrorism,Credit cards are also a bad thing, its good if your working and can make ends meet, bad if you're living cheque to cheque and your not saving anything, sad if you happen to be friends with the money tree store.

There is a great way to make all things work for you, it's called a BUDGET, I know this, heck I've been there, so if you want some ideas, I'm the one to help you get through this holiday, if you need me, think of me as Dear Abby but as word to wise it's Dear InSanity.

Here is a letter to moi from a professonal:

Dear InSanity

I am a professional, have been for some 10 yrs now, being in the medical field I see first hand how sad it is when it comes to many different holidays every year. I love my job, but, dont get me wrong sometimes I wonder why so many holidays affect so many people when other days dont? Could you answer me that?

From Professonal observer.

Dear Professional observer

In order to have a story, you have to be an observer or participant of life, and you are doing this, this I see. We are human like they are, we are not gods or robots. We breathe the same air, we all work to earn a living, we all have families that we see on a regular basis and then some. But why is this time of year so much harder than non holidays, because when you and I get together with loved ones, we are close to them, but, as soon as we leave and go on with our own lives thats when the anxiety creeps in and over takes us. When I goto church and I spend the time there, I feel the closeness and I dont want to ever go home, I want to stay at the Lord's place, I feel warm, fuzzy and to me it's home away from this crazy world and I feel LOVED. Your heart is in the right place professional observer, without you, where would we people be if there wasnt a caring heart warming indivdual out there like yourself.

To all those professionals in the medical field (EMS-POLICE-FIRE DEPARTMENT-other depart's) you have a good head on your shoulder's, you take life as it goes, if this life was written with you in mind, you can change it, volunteer because it's the effort that shows other's that your a caring individual beyond your work capability other than EMS for e,q.

Take care & God Bless.

[Eleanor]

I am mentally ill I have tried to kill my self several times I know that I have hurt my family in tiring to it was not for attention. What the paramedics did that helped me were just talking to me and asked me what happened that day to make me feel so bad. If there was something that was wrong at my apartment and so on. Some of the paramedics told me about how my family would miss me if I were gone and that this feeling would not last for ever. I was severely abused in my life. I would suggest you just carrying on a normal conversation with them about any thing even if it is what do they like to do for fun? What sports do they like and so on? I am also a cutter and that some times can get misunderstood for a suicide attempt. Well that is a different topic. I am sorry if I was a bother about posting this. I wish that I could be a paramedic or something in the medical field I love helping people a lot. I almost got my certified nursing assistant degree at one point but fell short about 6 hours due to my illness.

Take care every one.

sorry about the spelling

[brentoli]

I have only had a couple of meetings with suicidal patients, so I don't have THAT kind of experience to go on. However, if you can find a class on suicide intervention, I would STRONGLY recommend taking it. I am a 911 dispatcher as well as an EMT/FF and I have taken a hostage negotiation class and a suicide intervention for my job at 911. Both are excellent classes. While we aren't usually in the position of trying to talk someone out of it, still, it gives you a better understanding not only of the person, but also a better grasp of how to communicate with anyone that is desperate.

[Urbanmedic461]

Here is my 2 cents:

Right now picture putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Seriously sit for a second and think about doing it...

Hard to imagine right? (If not seek help right now, I in no way intend for someone to actually do this)

To be at that point where you can pull the trigger is far beyond being selfish. To be able to do this means you are not thinking about yourself or anyone, only to end pain, great sadness, suffering etc.... This is a mental disease in which ones mind will not let them get past the situation in question.

I had a bad situation when I was in highschool, I came very close to ending my life. Thinking back now I am very happy I got through things. BUT, at the time I was unable to think, had no energy, had only blank thoughts. When the you change a TV to a channel that only gives you white and black specs moving around with the static sound and the volume full, that is the closest way in which I can describe my mind at that time. There was no tomorrow, there was no today, there was no yesterday, there was no time, there was nobody else, there was only me...alone...scared! I couldn't sort out anything, I couldn't gain a rational for anything, I couldn't see a way. I had anger at nothing. I would become frustrated all day long, at nothing, at nobody, for no reason. I would seclude myself from people, events, everything. I remember laying on my bed looking at the ceiling for hours on end, for nothing. No thoughts would come to me.

I did not think of suicide...it just came. At no time did I ever think I want to die or I should just kill myself. I just ended up in that situation. I needed (not wanted) my rest.

It took my mother to see a pattern, and to find me at the right time. It took months to regain clarity. As the medications took action I would often think with anger..."I'm not crazy", "Why am I like this?", "Why do I need medication?", "Why me?". Thinking back I can see why people finally get strength to commit suicide at this phase of recovery. I had energy, and anger at myself and my mind.

I use this point in my life with patients who are suicidal. I have been thanked by some and feel made some impact on others.

I tell them things like:

"You are not alone with these feelings". "Be open to treatments". "Be open about your thoughts and feelings". "I know you may feel lost, confused and alone, people are here for you, let them help you."

I rarely tell them about my own past situation unless they tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I sat down with one teen aged patient when I worked in a small rural service without access to crisis or mental health programs. I must have talked with him for over an hour (we had no obligations to be anywhere, my partner was ok with it). We worked out a lot of issues, made light of some thoughts. He was willing to have treatment, went on medications, came to me at the ambulance base on a few more occasions and made it through. From not talking and withdrawn to relating to my situation and overcoming depression and thoughts of self-harm.

People need to feel compassion, PERIOD! Even though we may not be with a patient for long durations, it can start with us. Open the lines of communication and trust with a medical provider. We are total strangers to these people, in uncharted territory, it can start with us.

I understand that some are attention seekers, and so on. I think we can all truly tell when the situation is much more serious. Unfortunately we usually see those individuals after the fact.

I know it can be hard, but please just offer them a hand, an ear, and compassion.

[emtpsaveu911]

Thankyou for that honest post Urbanmedic461. Although its easy for someone like me to want to say my uncle was being selfish when commited suicide. That was my initial reaction now over a year later since his suicide and a few months since my last post I do realize that he was lost in a world of darkness much like you described. You helped me understand what he may have been going through. Sorry for what you went through but its great that you can help others.

[NREMT-Basic]

No matter what your personal opinion about suicide is, it has no place in EMS. Your personal belief system is moot when it comes to caring for a patient. Some believe that AIDS is a punishment from God for being gay...if you hold that belief do you refuse to treat an AIDS patient? Or the drunk driver who rams into a telephone pole which collapses on his car (I have been on this call)...do you slow down and not work as hard because he was drunk and he "did this to himself?" I hope not. The fact is that when you get up in the morning and put on your gear, you have to take off your particular system of ethics and morality and while they may inform how you think, they must NEVER inform how you act or treat a patient. RidRyder pointed out that someone in EMS who has thought about suicide has no business in EMS. I disagree, because that makes the assumption that any who once contemplated suicide is unstable and not to be trusted, and of course nothing could be further from the truth. EVERY patient gets our absolute committment to excellence no matter what. We do not get to judge. It is a luxury we do no possess. If you find that you start to judge people and it begins to affect your attitude toward your patients, which will inevitably lead to how you treat them, then perhaps you should consider getting out of EMS for awhile until you can get that horrific anger under control. It will only eat you up and diminish the quality of care you can render your patients.

[epellatt]

Imagine being so lost, depressed, frightened, etc, that you truely believe that everybody who loves and cares for you will be better off without you.

People don't commit suicide in order to hurt anybody, they are (for the time being) unable to see how anybody could be hurt by their actions.

[Fireland]

Look on the other side of things the ones we get to see are the ones that usually want help and don't know how to ask for it. If you ex would have called an ambulance maybe things would be different. Look at the family you are helping by keeping this person from going through with it. ...... this is the way I deal with it... but have to admit was recruited to work at the local 911 center a few months ago and we were super busy for our small agency... and when a guy called and said he was going to kill him self... I without hesitation said " you've got to be sh?**n me" after I got over the shock of what I said ... we got him some help.... so it is not always easy to hold the tounge...

[WendyT]

Category 4- Are those who are lonely....suffering a loss of a life long spouse...mother, father, brother, sister. or a child.

This could of been me, from the loss of a brother, father and child and my mother is now in a nursing home. But you have to realize that when people are in this state, the black hole as it is called, they are so deep its hard to resurface from it. No amount of medication will help, so they resort to electric shock to bring them back.