23 adult truths

[Happiness]

****** 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******

1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used inHockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

[Arctickat]

You should have put number 23 first, then we wouldn't have had to read the rest.

Edited September 11, 2012 by Arctickat

[Richard B the EMT]

My responses to some are in Bold, Italics, and Underlined.

1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Been there, done that!.

2. Nothing worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Been there, done that!.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Zzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzz

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Even Martha Steward admits she doesn't know how.

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

NO! I print so I don't have to tell anyone what I wrote.

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

What about starting the return trip?

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

Especially when talking with the personnel department at the potential new job why you left the last one

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

I think I'm quoting George Carlin, saying, "I'm not buying anything else until they stop inventing, so I can catch up"

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

Been there, done that! Even on an EMT City posting.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I concur.

7. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

Don't care about that, just why does it always direct me to the county to my west, when I want to go north in my own county, or east to the OTHER next county?

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Been there, done that!. Wait, there's a difference?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

I concur, even been one in the line. However, I've been the "jerk" cut off, when on a Lights and Siren run.

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

At least until they stand up on their own, and march themselves to the washing machine.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Not everyone. Some have the alarm clock on the other side of the room, after a turn at the desk. Tripped a few times, too.

[Happiness]

you forgot one or is it that you dont think your big head needs the same protection

[emtdennis]

OK, which one is the "big head"?

What does Martha Stewart know, fitted sheets can be folded, however it is only under the influence of something very relaxing and not coffee.

Edited September 12, 2012 by emtdennis

[Arctickat]

you forgot one or is it that you dont think your big head needs the same protection

You want me to put a latex bag over my head? I've done that with gloves many times.

[Lone Star]

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

At least until they stand up on their own, and march themselves to the washing machine.

What's the big deal about sorting your laundry by colors? Segregation has been deemed unconstitutional....

I think we should just put all the clothes in the washer and let them learn from their cultural differences!!!