Whats your "opening line"?

[DwayneEMTP]

I say, "Well, let's have a look at that toe....It looks all right to me but would you like to go to the hospital and have it checked out? Happy to take you..."

Here is different though...a patient in the clinic...

"Hurt...pain..Pain mericine.." flexing his right shoulder. Only, before the conversation is over it seems to be his left shoulder in pain. Most often patients have no real complaints, they've just come in to shop at the 'free store' for things to take back to their villages. I sometimes 'lose' things that seem to end up in the villages, but try and do so with expired or near expired stuff...

Having seen this type of patient many times a day for months I give him two Panadol (Tylenol.)

"Box mericine!"

"No."

"Condoms...want condoms.." I give him a half dozen...

"Box condoms!"

"No. That is all the you get. If you use those up come back tomorrow...And if you use all of those I'll want your autograph.."

"Sun burn..Need mericine for sun...(sun screen)"

"Brother, you seem to be in pretty bad shape...should I explain to your supervisor that you're in too much pain, too horny, and too afraid of the sun to work today?"

"No...no supervisor..."

"Ok then...go back to work. Come back when you need more condoms..."

I'll give you a dollar and a fresh baked cookie if you have that conversation with your next patient... :-)

[Curiosity]

Hahaha can't say I've ever been asked for condoms before but I can try to start that type of conversation by offering some. Just hope my next patient isn't a 98yo woman who has no idea what a condom is. That could get awkward...

[Arctickat]

Condoms have been around since the pharaohs of Egypt. She'd probably know what one is.

[Bieber]

"It looks like you just stubbed your toe. Let me get you an icepak then we'll have you sign something and we'll get out of your hair."

[Arctickat]

"It looks like you just stubbed your toe. Let me get you an icepak then we'll have you sign something and we'll get out of your hair."

And you can pay the $325.00 bill by cash, cheque, or money order. Credit cards are not accepted.

[DwayneEMTP]

Hahaha can't say I've ever been asked for condoms before but I can try to start that type of conversation by offering some....

Yeah, I'll pay another buck to see how you're going to document that!

"Though unknown type/regularity of sexual activity in this 95 y/o/f, condoms delivered prophylactically secondary to online dare."

[Curiosity]

And get called back a few hours later at the same residence for 99yo male with chest pain...OOPS

[Arctickat]

"Though unknown type/regularity of sexual activity in this 95 y/o/f, condoms delivered prophylactically secondary to online dare."

I thought she was 96 and having a stroke.

Whoops, wrong thread....hey...now there's an idea....

[Bieber]

And you can pay the $325.00 bill by cash, cheque, or money order. Credit cards are not accepted.

Nope. No charge without transport. Form is just the refusal!

[Arctickat]

Out here the patient gets the bill regardless, although I have been known to cut some a bit of slack, such as the client whose son calls 911 because mom won't answer the phone and he thinks she's dead.