You might be in EMS if..

[Guest ~~~]

You might be in EMS if…

1. You remove any form of assessment/treatment from a nurse and do it yourself (IV, EKG, BP, finger stick, etc.)
   
2. You assess a person’s veins when shaking their hand
   
3. You speak in medical terms and your doctor has to look up what you said
   
4. You’re pretty sure you can determine someone’s Mallampati score after a short conversation
   
5. No one wants to play the “I saw the grossest thing” game with you anymore
   
6. The microwave, dryer, and doorbell all sounds like pager tones
   
7. You buy a car with ease-of-class 3-installation in mind
   
8. You wipe your feet when leaving a house
   
9. You pick a car color that will contrast or coordinate nicely with emergency lighting
   
10. You firmly believe Valium should come as lollipops and salt licks
    
11. Psych patients make decent conversationalists
    
12. Oxygen tubing has been a major component in a practical joke
    
13. If you wash your hands before going to the bathroom
    
14. You count CPR as a cardio workout
    
15. One word: “disbitch”
    
16. You can recognize the “Ambulance Dance”
    
17. When friends/family call you before 911
    
18. It takes you longer to get ready to go out on the ambulance than it does on a date
    
19. You know exactly how far away from the nearest trauma center you live
    
20. You know the dispatchers’ shifts by heart
    
21. The dispatchers know yours
    
22. You plan major life events around things like marathons, opening of hunting season, and 4th of July
    
23. A hot meal, shower, or bathroom break set you on edge
    
24. “Quiet” is worse than any 4-letter word
    
25. You’re pretty sure you know which frequent flyer has called just by their chief complaint
    
26. You place bets on #25
    
27. You win
    
28. You’ve related to any one of the above
    

[Curiosity]

I love the conversations I have with psych patients! Sometimes I make my partner wonder who he's taking to the hospital

[Arctickat]

[Richard B the EMT]

I plead guilty to #17, and 24 through 28!

[Curiosity]

I cringe when people say the word quiet outside of work now. I hit the deck expecting someone to blow up.

[Medicman14]

I cringe when people say the word quiet outside of work now. I hit the deck expecting someone to blow up.

That's funny, my friends and even the cashiers at the convenience store near our station know not to utter the "Q" word around me...

Sent from me, using my thumbs

[RuralKSEMS]

If you wash your hands before going to the bathroom

“Quiet” is worse than any 4-letter word

These, big time. Seeing as how I work in healthcare (besides the ambulance, I work at an assisted living facility) the "Q" word is hated in both areas and I always wash my hands before I use the bathroom at work and while I'm doing anything on the ambulance. In fact, I've been the relative shit attractor here lately.

[Arctickat]

After not having turned a wheel in a week I was picking up a medication order at the hospital. While visiting the nursing desk they asked why they haven't seen me for so long. I told them it was really "quiet" and they shushed me..so I kept saying it. Something like 30 times as I chuckled out the door...quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, oh so quiet.

20 minutes later they called me to transport a cardiac into tertiary care. I asked them why they didn't just tell me that I might have a trip while I was there since the patient would have been to and they figured the patient wasn't going anywhere.

I'm convinced, it works. As a private operator whose profit margin depends on call volume, quiet is my new favourite word.

[StretcherRunner]

#2 absolutely!