Lets get this party started! Post something here so we know you're alive!

[island emt]

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD LADIES!!
A farmer stopped by the local garage to have his truck fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the market and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the market he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.
She asked,
'Can you tell me how to get to Church Lane ?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to the lane I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said,
'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me...
How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, Lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied,
'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!!!

Pg 95 :-}

Edited January 11, 2014 by island emt

[Richard B the EMT]

A joke I taught my mother to use at gatherings of "Older" people...

3 old ladies, all friends, met at a bus stop.

The first one said, "Windy, isn't it?"
Said the second, "No, it's Thursday."

"So am I," chimed in the third one, "Let's go to my house for a spot of tea!"

[Chief1C]

Hi.

[scubanurse]

I've worked 64 hours this week

[Richard B the EMT]

Just sharing that the emergency notification agency "Notify New York City", has transmitted to me, by text, E-Mail, and Landline, that the FDNY Alarm Boxes in Manhattan are out of service due to an unspecified infrastructure issue, and encouraged anyone reporting a fire to use 9-1-1. Messages were sent and received around 4 PM Eastern Time.

[island emt]

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.

"No, they went to town."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says,

"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably,

"No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment...then says,

"You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $50 for the bulls and $15 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

[Richard B the EMT]

Update: FDNY's Alarm Boxes in Manhattan are back on line.

New item: For the second time in 3 days, a tugboat has sunk off the Atlantic Beach/Long Beach, Long Island NY coast. The second boat was looking for the wreckage of the first one.

Kudos and a WELL DONE to Inwood Volunteer Fire Department and EMS, Lawrence-Cedahurst Volunteer Fire Department and EMS (both of Nassau County, NY), NYPD Aviation, and all others involved in both tugboat crew rescues.

Now, it's up to the US Coast Guard to remove the now beached heavy-duty construction barge the first tugboat had been hauling.

Edited January 16, 2014 by Richard B the EMT

[Just Plain Ruff]

Update: FDNY's Alarm Boxes in Manhattan are back on line.

New item: For the second time in 3 days, a tugboat has sunk off the Atlantic Beach/Long Beach, Long Island NY coast. The second boat was looking for the wreckage of the first one.

Kudos and a WELL DONE to Inwood Volunteer Fire Department and EMS, Lawrence-Cedahurst Volunteer Fire Department and EMS (both of Nassau County, NY), NYPD Aviation, and all others involved in both tugboat crew rescues.

Now, it's up to the US Coast Guard to remove the now beached heavy-duty construction barge the first tugboat had been hauling.

There is a saying, "sometimes it's better to leave well enough alone"

[Richard B the EMT]

Per the newscasts last night and this noon, USCG intends to raise both tugboats, to determine WTF happened. The construction barge remains beached, and as a FYI, is owned by the same construction company that pulled Captain Sullenberger's Jet out of the Hudson River 5 years ago, almost to the day. Yesterday WAS the 5th anniversary of the "Miracle On The Hudson".

[paramedicmike]