Lets get this party started! Post something here so we know you're alive!

[Richard B the EMT]

With that story, I don't think she'll find another boyfriend.

"One day, while on an African safari, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know."

Groucho Marx.

2 friends, hiking in the woods, woke up one morning, to find a bear in their campsite. One of them, although undressed, started lacing on his shoes.

"You know you can't outrun that bear, don't you?"

"Don't have to. Just have to outrun YOU."

Later, the man was telling the Ranger that the bear, while chasing him, almost caught up a few times, when the bear slipped and fell, allowing the man some distance while running.

"Mister, I would have shit a brick."

"Ranger, what the heck do you think the bear was slipping on?"

Whoa, I started page 104.

[Caduceus]

Wild land survival 101.

[island emt]

they just have a different kind of Bear in the cities. more shark like.

whole different world & method to survive in the hood.

[Caduceus]

Which is why the smart people live in the countryside with guns.

Edited April 4, 2014 by Caduceus

[paramedicmike]

Sleep well, kids.

[scubanurse]

Now that's a big gulp.

[Caduceus]

That's awesome O_O

[Richard B the EMT]

How big is the bigger fish, and small is the smaller fish?

[MedicAsh]

I am still alive LOL. I have been busy with work and life in general.

[island emt]

After last nights drama : I thought we could use a little levity

Several days after President Obama was re-elected, he went over to see Bill and Hillary Clinton for dinner at their spacious home. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked his host if he could use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Bill Clinton 's private toilet, he was astonished to see That Clinton had a gold urinal! Wow!
The next day, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal in Clinton's private lavatory. "Just think," he said, "maybe I should get a gold urinal, too. But on the other hand I think that it may be just a bit too self-indulgent...even for a guy like me!"
Later in the week, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how impressed her husband had been at his discovering that Bill had a gold urinal in his private bathroom.
Later that day, when Bill got home, Hillary smiled and said to Bill: "I found out who pissed in your saxophone."

And one more for our Canuckistanian friends:

MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD IN NEWFOUNDLAND

Hello, is this the Police Office? Yes. What can I do for you?'
I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Jack Murphy...He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there'
Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, twelve RCMP officers descend on Jack's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but found no marijuana.
They sneer at Jack and left.
Shortly, the phone rings at Jack's house.
'Hey, Jack! This here's Floyd....Did the Police come?'
'Yeah!'
'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

Newfies know how to get'er done