You Might Be A Firefighter if

TK · December 22, 2012

You know you're a Firefighter if…

You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.
You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks.
You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.
You lay out your cloths from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly.
You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
7. You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
You always wear red suspenders.
You have ever slept in a hosebed.
You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket.
You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice.
You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic.
You double your weight every time you go on a job a building.
You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
You have ever had "yoda ears"
You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter"
You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight.
You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.
You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.
your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you.
"climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement.
your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader.
You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.
You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.
You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze.
You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.
Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree (Volunteers Only)
All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter (Volunteers Only)
You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year!
When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERY TIME!
You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call.
if you have more pagers than than money in your wallet.
if the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.
if a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.
if assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire in running up hill is a good day.
The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager.
you ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone company
if you can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.
If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off
if you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand.
If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher
If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust
You know you're a firefighter when you really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden.
All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc.
if your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call!
your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down.
if you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side.
If youhave more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
When you have ever made a jacuzzi out of a 2100 gallon dump tank and a rescue boat motor (15 horse Merc). ..It was hot!.............Watch yer toes!
When you take all of your improtant stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank.
you walk into the station with you belt on and someone yells here comes batman
You eat till you're sleep, then sleep till you eat.
You can blame the 10 lbs that you've gained on the food cooked at the station.
You take your other half out on a date to the fire house/hall.
You spend more time on a holiday with you're fellow firefighter than you do with you're family. (although its a good excuse to get out of going over to your inlaws house)
You know you're a firefighter if you want to keep the fire truck at your house just so that you can be the one to drive it!
you are a ff if you refer to yourself as Satan and the fire as your house
if your house is on fire and you still respond to the station
You talk about alcohol foams and you are not refering to the head of your beer.
when you wish some Fragrance manufacturer would bottle the burnt smell after a fire and used as a mens spray cologne.
Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a bag-valve-mask.
You have ever dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience.
You run towards a dangerous situation instead of away
if you ever said that real fire trucks/engines are RED DAMMIT!!!!
you have a wreck with the fire chief on the way to the fire trying to beat him there (Volunteers)
All of your calenders have every third day circled.
You've been called a nozzle hog.
If you collect fire helmets and hang them on your bedroom wall and so far have one of each color.
You respond to the fire station during a thunder storm - in case there's a fire started by lightening.
You stay in town during the 4th of July - in case there's a fire started by fireworks.
If you are running in the opposite direction of everyone else
you refer to a room at 1300 F as "Toasty".
you respond to sound better than Pavlov's Dog.
the term "Hard Suction" doesn't make you chuckle
when you are the mother of the bride and you tell everyone in the wedding party, nobody moves when the pagers went off during the ceremony.
you have more lights on your personal vehicle than your dept's trucks (Volunteers Mainly)
If nine out of the ten toys your child receives for Christmas are fire trucks
If you play with the fire toys more than your child does.
You know you're a firefighter if your idea of a water fight includes a 100ft. tower with dual monitors, and several shots of 2.5 inch lines
If you wash your Fire Truck more than your personal vehicle.
If "humping hose" doesn't excite you.
When you call ur friend in Maryland, you live in Nevada, and get jealous and turned on at the same time when he gets toned out
you've ever felt like a ghost-buster while operating a water-vac
you've ever stood on a street corner holding a bunker boot asking for donations
you monitor other city's fire dispatch and miss a call for your own.
you get excited over the color red and the smell of diesel
Your idea of a good time involves soaking the new probies.
if someone starts reciting movie lines from "Backdraft" at a fire.

ERDoc · December 22, 2012

Although it seems to be down right now, you might find a better audience at our sister site firefightercity.com

DFIB · December 22, 2012

You wake each other up with a CO2 extinguisher? Sounds like a way to never wake up.

Caduceus · November 10, 2013

Haha this was great. Thanks for posting,

paramedicmike · November 10, 2013

You might be a firefighter if you...

... do CPR without gloves...

... get mad at, and verbally attack and blame, the medic for not having an extra pair of gloves for you for doing CPR...

... have a pair of gloves in your back pocket but can't be bothered to take off your turnout gear to get them in order to do CPR...

... show up in the ER complaining about an exposure because you did CPR without gloves...

... cannot document or describe what kind of exposure might have happened while doing compressions without gloves...

... cannot document or describe what kind of bodily fluids you might have been exposed to while doing compressions without gloves...

... cannot demonstrate any open wound or broken skin that may have proven to be an exposure risk while doing CPR without gloves...

... belittle the attending ER physician while screaming obscenities because he won't do immediate BBP testing after doing CPR without gloves...

... fail to understand that despite the blatant stupidity demonstrated by doing CPR without gloves there was no exposure and therefore no exposure risk...

... document on your workers comp/exposure paperwork "I did CPR without gloves and was exposed." with no further description and turn it in to your boss...

... have any combination, or all, of the above happen to you.

The above is all true.

He was not my patient.

Edited November 10, 2013 by paramedicmike

ERDoc · November 11, 2013

I would have him on triple therapy just to enjoy the look on his face as he is dealing with the horrible GI side effects.

island emt · November 12, 2013

you might be a hoser if:

you whine all day because the ambulance crew kept waking you up last night when they ran 5 runs during your beauty sleep.

Lord know you need your beauty sleep.

ERDoc · November 12, 2013

...if you don't see a problem with you and a bunch of your buddies blocking up the ER hallways in full turnout gear, strongly smelling of the house fire you just came from, disrupting the care of other pts while you wait for your buddy who got a small piece of ash in his eye. Bonus points if you think it is a good idea to curse out the University Police officer who takes you and a friend out in handcuffs when you refuse to listen to the nice doctors and nurses.

Caduceus · November 21, 2013

Burn.

Kaisu · November 21, 2013

... if you run out of a burning structure and grab a puppy ... for the photo op

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