Shit at work meets shit at home

[Kiwiology]

Yeah well my Doctor says I have PTSD, and I already knew I was significantly fucked in the head; so um yeah, you ain't the only one

[rat115]

If the kids aren't in therapy get them there. Talk to a lawyer. Your family is going to need the services of both professions before this is all over.

Document *everything*.

Keep hanging in there.

They are. Funny thing is that while these 2 kids are 11 hrs away from me and the jerk is doing this crap he's the one that forced my daughter into counseling. He's actually making her learn the tools that is allowing her to speak up.

I'm praying that the attorney will help me for a reduced amount. I can't afford a retainer. Adding to everything else, my husband was laid off about 2 weeks ago. Yes, I realize my life sounds like a fucking soap opera. I want to get what I can worked out and ride out the rest.

Any resources through the kid's school you can tap into? School counselors?

I wish. I've already tried to deal with the counselor in the school there and he'd never call me back.

Police! If he is touching them inappropriately, call the police!

The police here want me to go to DHHS. DHHS says to go to the PD. It's FUCKED up!!!! I've already asked PD there to do a wellfare check and they wouldn't even go into the house.

As a former cop myself I will tell you that Police involvement isn't always the best. People often misunderstand what the police are for. Criminal charges can be brought forth without police involvement. If this alleged touching occurred recently then by all means call the police. However, if this has occurred months ago then police involvement is not likely going to help. A lawyer can do what a police officer can as far as recommending charges, getting a no contact order, etc.

I am going to be brutally honest, both as a former cop and a as a former private investigator working on cases like this. Your daughters' word wont have much weight in a court of law. Courts rely on Physical Evidence which can be proven. While hearsay and circumstantial evidence can be used to get a conviction it is much more difficult. In addition, the legal process is NOT kid friendly. Your kids will be cross examined on a stand. They will be called liars and other terms by the defense. It is what they do. Many kids who testify require extensive therapy afterwards. I have been associated with lawyers on both sides as a PI. It is ugly.

I do NOT want to discourage you from going forward with legal proceedings if you feel it is necessary. However, I feel that people should be aware of what they are about to get into. It wont be fun for you or for your kids. If you have any questions about the process feel free to PM me.

I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks for the honest opinion. I appreciate it and may be PMing you to get some advice. I want to protect her. Part of it is getting her to quit worrying about "hurting dad" and "getting dad in trouble". I just keep repeating to her that it's about keeping her safe. The one that finally got her to open up was telling her that it might help get her dad the help he needs. Kind of wish it was a box of powdered soap and a roommate called "Bubba", but we're going to keep that from her and just keep supporting her so that she feels safe with me and her stepdad.

Edited January 23, 2013 by rat115

[island emt]

If I'm getting this right the children's father is not your current husband???

Call the district attorneys office in the town or county where your daughter is. Ask to speak to them and explain in careful detail what you have told us. They have the ability to investigate and make things happen.

[rat115]

Island, the kids' father is my exhusband. You are correct there.

I will look into the DA's office. I know that the DA here won't look at anything like that unless it comes through LEO. (I used to be a Cub Scout leader for the DA's son, so I've been able to ask him questions.) I'm not going to take any action until I have talked to this attorney. I am going to ask her advice and make sure that my fannie is coverd completely. From there, I will either go to DHHS here or LEO if she thinks it would be a good thing. I am going to ask for "emergency hearing" paperwork to be put in, which requires that a hearing be in place within 7 days. Praying that I will have her home before her 15th birthday on the 3rd.

[MikeEMT]

she stated "Dad is touching her" it is currently happening and her daughter is still living with that man. He is a danger to a child. What good would leaving a child in a dangerous situation do while screwing around and trying to get a lawyer when she clearly stated that is not an option right now?

Yes mari, I read her entire post. Unlike you, I have professional experience in matters like this. Both as a police officer and as a Private Investigator under contract for lawyers. I have spent hundreds of hours in a court room on both sides. I would suggest going back and re-reading what I wrote.

To the OP: Got your message, will reply after I get some sleep.

[Happiness]

Something I will say is this, unless you have experience in some capacity, you truely dont have a clue what it is like to be in that situation.

[MariB]

Yes mari, I read her entire post. Unlike you, I have professional experience in matters like this. Both as a police officer and as a Private Investigator under contract for lawyers. I have spent hundreds of hours in a court room on both sides. I would suggest going back and re-reading what I wrote.

To the OP: Got your message, will reply after I get some sleep.

how exactly do you know I do not have any experience in this kind if situation? Do not speak of professional experience until you know.

To the op, best of luck to you. Your children are not safe until they leave the situation they are in. Good luck to them and you.

Edited January 23, 2013 by MariB

[rat115]

I'll tell you... I don't know how fast this is going through, but I hired an attorney today. She went to the point of offering to work a payment plan for the retainer so that she could start working on things TODAY. I am trying to do this in such a way that I can make sure that my daughter is safe but is not forced into something that she'll be uncomfortable with. It's a tough thing and this attorney was the one to bring up the questions about what she'd do if she got put on the stand in court. I feel really good about things right now.

Just keeping on keeping on and praying that someone out there is looking out for all of my family. Don't know what else to do besides to keep fighting and putting one foot in front of the other until this is worked out.

Thanks folks!