Intimidated!

[EasterSealer]

Hi. I've "been" an EMT since 2009, but I've never been able to freaking work as one. Locally, it seems like such a good 'ol boy's club. I was the only one of six in the paramedic class (which I took immediately after receiving/passing EMT Basic) that did not work at AMR. I passed everything in the interview, but was sent a card saying thanks, but no thanks. Then, nearly concurrently, my ACLS was supposed to be announced, but was not during the paramedic part of the class. Then I was told I hadn't shown, even though I was never late for class, nor had I missed -any- time. Evidently, it was brought up at AMR since the instructor is a lead medic, and everybody again, but me, works there.

So I missed ACLS, and thus booted from the program. Very frustrated at that point, so I did other things. Now it's 2013, and my paramedic classes were enough continuing ed hours to keep my cert for Basic til the next time. All the sudden, I get a call from the NEW paramedic chair at the college! He was told what had happened with me and how I'd been alienated in the program. After reviewing my grades (98.3%), he said he wanted me back in and could start where I left off...WOW! But here's my problem. That's intimidating since I -did- get a passing grade for Med I, even though I shouldn't have (since ACLS was part of the class). The former chair was such a screw-up that he'd given me a 'C' since I had an 'A' until the last week of the class.

Now I face going back into the program with only 3 classes left, which is very gracious of the new Chair. I don't want to retake classes and I feel as skilled as paramedic is (schooling) that my "skills" are quite perishable. Anyway, he quizzed me on the phone and I had recalled quite a bit, but my algorhythms for codes/PEA, etc were like swiss cheese. He's confident I'd "fit right in".

I feel it's a political fallout waiting to happen when I do clinicals and my former classmates saw me as a quitter, despite my getting screwed over...secondly, I really respect EMS in general, and since so much time's passed, I'm intimidated because I don't see myself as legitimate. Very frustrated!

Classes resume, ironically, where I left off for this March 18th. I have his full consent to come back balls to the wall. What would you do? Redo the entire courses? Jump in and hope for the best? One of my future instructors is friends with the prior Chair and made it quite clear he feels I'm a failure. Confused...

[island emt]

What are your goals for the future?

You list your occupation as an EMT-B yet in your first line above you state "I've "been" an EMT since 2009, but I've never been able to freaking work as one. "

What are you doing currently?

If you are out of school by several years and have not used the skills or knowledge, then you might want to re-assess where your mindset is.

PS: not getting hired to work for the empire is not all that bad a thing. Unless they are the only game in town.

Edited March 16, 2013 by island emt

[ERDoc]

There no reason to see yourself as non-legitimate. If you took the class then there is no problem with you picking up where you left off. Only you can answer whether you are ready to pick up from that point or not. If you think you can review the stuff that you did in the past and get yourself up to speed, then go for it. Never worry about what your classmates think, you are not here to make friends you are here to learn medicine.

[ClutzyEMT]

I have to agree with those two ^^^. Very good replies in my book!!

Never let classmates or colleagues direct where you are going or how your going to get there.....only you know if you are able to pick up where you left off successfully. If you go back, and it isn't making sense, then maybe you need to step back and re-take the course but that is a decision YOU should make and not others.......

Good luck and let us know how it's going

[Just Plain Ruff]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, get your butt back in the class, soak up as much as you can in those classes and then come here to ask all the questions that you aren't getting the answers to.

You have to see this as a gift from somewhere and if you refuse to take it then you have to be OK with refusing that gift.

Sounds like the new "Chair" knows what went on before he got the Chairmanship and he's wanting to make things right so don't turn him down. He's giving you a gift that many would give their right NUT to have.

Go for it and do yourself and others proud.

[paramedicmike]

If you want it, do it. This is not an issue of, "Yes, I want it. But...". There are no "...but..." issues at play. Do you want this? Yes? Do it.

If you don't want it, don't do it.

If you live your life worrying about what others think of you you'll never do anything. So ignore them.