uglyEMT Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 (edited) Wow been a long while. Sorry everyone for droping off the face of the earth Its been a long bumpy trying road for me. Well, I think I am ready to be back. If you all will have me? I know you are probably wondering what happened. Well as you may or may not remember I became Captain of my squad. While almost immediatly I ran into major resistance and in fighting quickly insued. Well it got to the point patient care was going to crap and I lost it both mentally and physically. I resigned from the squad in an attempt to bring back patient care to the level it was before my promotion feeling I was the problem. Yes I basically fell on the sword. Because I was now no longer riding I became very depressed. It got very dark for me. I didnt want anything to do with EMS because I felt I had let everyone down and was looked at as a leper. I still am not riding currently but have recertifed hoping one day to get back on a squad. I guess this is a step in the right direction to getting back on the horse so to speak. Hopefully you will see me alot more around here again like in the past. I hope my lack of participation and disapearence hasn't soured anyone's views of me. If I am not wanted around, I understand, and I will leave. I hope everyone is well and good. Along with their families. See you around.... Ugly Edited May 23, 2013 by UGLyEMT
Just Plain Ruff Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 So why did you feel you were the problem? Why did you feel you had to fall on the sword? Is patient care any better now with that service or is it still sucky?
uglyEMT Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Hello Captain. Once the promotion happened the infighting started and at every turn I was fought against. I felt it was because I was promoted vs another person. Basically it got "cliqueish" and the back and forth was out of hand. I felt like resignation was the right course of action to stop the high school antics and get everyone focusing back on the patients. It was not an easy decision to make, I did try and fix things but it trying to bail the Titanic with a tea cup. Once I noticed the patient care dropping I knew what I had to do. From what I hear through the grapevine after I left the fighting stopped, the other person took over as Captain, and everything went back to the way it was. The patient care wasnt so much a physical thing to the patient as it was more getting responders to be on duty, fully staffing rigs, ect. The newer members had no problems but the more experienced people pushed back. I had tried to mentor the newer EMTs by placing them with experienced EMTs and not having two less experienced EMT on the same rig. I was hoping by doing this bad habits wouldn't be picked up or compounded upon. So when the infighting began in order to staff the rigs I had to pair up the less expeirenced people and thus my stating patient care suffered. Not that they didnt do good patient care but stuff could have been over looked or missed that a more seasoned EMT would have picked up.
Kaisu Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Oh wow. How very painful for you. I certainly understand. I had fought the prevailing culture of protocol monkey macho BS for the entire 4 years I ran in AZ. I was done with it. My resignation wasn't noble like yours. I had just had enough. I am using this hiatus to get some more education, making me even more of a pariah :-) Not sure where I will end up however, I am determined to make it meaningful and relevant. Welcome back.
uglyEMT Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Kaisu yes the blinders are on certain people and I guess they are happy that way. I was trying to make it more mentor related but apparently "just follow the steps" was their idea of mentoring and when the new batch of rookies came aboard they were looked down on. Especially the newest batch before I left, my state recently revamped their protocols and added a few things to the EMTs protocols (nothing major but changes non-the-less) and the people not yet CEUed in the new protocols were fighting hard to keep them from being being added. I am doing the same with the hiatus. Went and did my recert courses, got some CEUs I wanted to do done, and working on my interests. Like I stated I would like to be back riding one day, hopefully it will be soon.
Just Plain Ruff Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Keep up the good Fight UglyEMT dude, Some times you cannot fight cityhall and you just gotta let em fight it out on their own. This was a volunteer agency if I remember right wasnt' it? If so, that would explain a LOT. Sometimes the hardest part is to let go and move on. Karma does come around and meet people who it should. Your responsiblity is to YOU and you alone and you did what you did for you I assume. I wish you only the best. Get back out on the road soon, a stopped wheel never gets going without a shove. Don't be the stopped wheel for very long.
DwayneEMTP Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 ...I hope my lack of participation and disapearence hasn't soured anyone's views of me. If I am not wanted around, I understand, and I will leave... Ugly What the hell? We loved you when you were here, we've missed you for being gone. But the, "If I'm not wanted, I'll leave?" has got to go. What evil new whiny bullshit is this? When you posted regularly you were one of the strongest members here...enough with that crap, ok? If I'd left every time I wasn't wanted I'd have missed out on being the medic that I'm becoming. And I've actually come to respect that medic pretty well. When I tried to work with the vollies (Not volly bashing, I know of some that are amazing) I was sumarily hated by nearly everyone despite my best effort to be supremely positive and gentle. ( And by normal standards I mean, not just mine.) But man, I couldn't make it work. I believe that the service is much diminished with me gone, but the service is much happier that way. Stop focusing on the ass kicking you may have taken and be grateful for the experience that you gained. You now know much better where you don't want to be, what you don't want to do, and the places that you actually do have the power to make positive change. You know of some approaches that won't work, and others that will...And that's no small thing. Good to have you back Brother. I'm excited for you to be here. But straighten your friggin' knees, stop looking at your shoes, take a deep breath and get back to the business of being who we've always known, ok? Because that guy friggin' rocked and was a force to be reconned with. 1
paramedicmike Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I think our friend is still stinging a bit from the petty BS his former coworkers pulled. As hard as that stuff is to deal with, and as personal as those rebukes may have been in both motivation and intent, you gotta move forward. Learn from what you can and apply that to the future. Yeah... I know. Easier said than done. Keep hanging in there. It does get easier. And better.
Happiness Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Well as nobal as resigning for pt. care is ugly its to bad you didn't ride it out a bit longer. You got the promotion for a reason and if others couldnt be adults then that is their problem. I am a unit chief and even though I have a great crew if they chose to decline in their pt. care it is their license that is in jepardy not mine. Glad to see you back and remember you have the support of good people here. =)
Richard B the EMT Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Just remember, we are all nobodies until we're needed. Kipling possibly said it best: It's "Tommy" this and "Tommy" that, and "Tommy, wait outside", but it's "Thank you Mister Atkins" when there's troopers on the tide. BTW, welcome back!
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