Unrealistic Expectations

[MariB]

/> because if you don't spend a half hour crying after a call, you can be out on the next call. definitely an asset in my books.nothing wrong with people who do not get emotional after a call. in the world, humans come in all different levels of emotional. you got the girls that cry and get upset over the every littlest thing, and you got the serial killer that wont blink an eye as they press the genocide button.

EMS and other emergency type jobs like police, military, are better suited for those who are LESS EMOTIONAL and they are assets here.

Jobs like consular, therapists, etc are better suited for those who have a higer level of emotional availability

Oh my, where to begin? Nobody is talking about "girls that cry " " for a half hour after a call " that my friend will someday lead to someone shoving an O2 tank up your unemotional ass. I'll bet you cry then

I'm amazed you compared your unemotional self to an asset serial killer who would press a genocide button. Strange way of putting it, but it does make sense, if you feel little to no emotion, how can you feel empathy, compassion or concern?

You are wrong about police, military and therapists not feeling any emotion. I've seen police cry. I've seen social workers break down. And therapists usually have that job because they do care. They have compassion and yes, emotion. I would advise you to consider seeing one.

Did you just get into ems to see dead people? To get off on peoples pain? Does it turn you on?

I know you are new at it.

How many hours of CPR are you doing on a patient before you call a medic? Come on. Get a grip.

People dying after hours of CPR is a good thing, they have very little chance of being anything but a vegetable anyway. This call was nothing like that. I have done CPR on people for an hour or so, I have pulled bodies out of cars, I have seen some really traumatic injuries and never responded this way before.

My reaction did not cause me to miss any calls, or interfere with work in anyway.

And why do you have to make it a sexist thing when you say "girls that cry and get upset"? I don't think that has anything to do with it.

And yes I had an emotional as well as a physical reaction to the event, at least I waited until we cleared the scene. My MALE partner froze at the scene causing an issue where I had to work harder than I should have.

Eh don't fret it. He has said people with no emotion are an asset. And then compared people with no emotion to serial killers. I would rather cry like a girl when I get home after something hits close to home than have little to no emotion. People like that can not feel love, joy or happiness

[ERDoc]

Sorry to go off topic since medicgirl is looking for help, but I'm sensing a troll. Check out these girls:

[MariB]

Police and soldiers do have emotion.

[scubanurse]

Why is it considered a weakness to have an emotional reaction to such an event?

because emotional reactions takes up valuable time that you can spend on something worthwhile. Its best not to have emotional reactions, and there are people out there who just DO NOT get emotional. they are the assets, wasting time by any means is a liability or weakness.

I recently was involved in a call that really messed with my head. It took me a long time to be able to sleep and eat after this call. I got to the end of my rope and told my supervisor that it was really bothering me.

I have been in EMS 8 years and have never been affected by a call this way. I think it was because it hit really close to home for me...anyway, my question is how do we in EMS become so callous that we don't care that someone is bothered? Why is it considered a weakness to have an emotional reaction to such an event? Have you ever been affected by what you have seen and how did you get through it?

And, I was not bothered while on the call, I was not affected until we cleared the scene and I thought about what had just happened. Patient care was not affected in any way...

Please don't chew me up and spit me out for saying I had an emotional reaction, I've already had enough of that.

Thanks.

Medicgirl-- I am so sorry you went through this. It must not have been a good call and for that I am so deeply sorry. Ignore Miscusi or whatever that jerkoff's name is... Showing emotion is what makes us all human, it makes you a better provider, and a better member of society. If we never let anything get to us, what's the point of anything. For reasons of my own, I have been feeling everything this past month, every emotion possible, I have felt it. It is lonely and awful. No one should feel this. And because I am going through this, that does not make me less of a provider, it does not make me less of an asset to medicine.

I think those who lack the ability to empathize with a patient is not an asset but rather a disadvantage to medicine. Having the ability to provide compassionate care, means you have helped a patient in one of their worst times. Helping the mother who lost their daughter by holding her hand, getting her tissues, makes you a better provider.

EMS is more than just transport. This isn't the days of the hurst providing transport, where you load and go. EMS is medicine, and with where EMS is going, you would do well Miscusi to change your view. EMS is moving towards being more of a primary provider in some communities, with diagnosing abilities, and having the ability to critically think through a patient's problems. Being a mindless, emotionless robot is not helping this profession. If death does not bother you, you need to leave EMS and do so very quickly. I do not know of a single provider I have ever encountered, save for trolls and you, that feels death is a non-issue. Yes death happens, it happens a lot. A 90 year old passing away in their sleep is not as sad as an infant passing away d/t SIDS, but it is sad. It is sad for those who loved them, it is sad for those who cared.

Do you think you show more machismo or are more of a man for saying death is not upsetting? What are you trying to prove? I really hope this is just machismo and an act, because if not, that makes me sad for you.

[Richard B the EMT]

Lets leave the girls/men thing be. I still cry sometimes, when I think about specific items from 2 of the 4 plane crashes I've responded to (Eastern Air Lines Flight 66, 1975 with 113 souls killed, and American Airlines Flight 587, 2001, with 260 souls aboard, and an additional 5 of my neighbors on the ground killed).

(587, had it crashed a half mile further west, might have landed on top of MY house, FYI.)

Edited July 30, 2013 by Richard B the EMT

[ERDoc]

Not to beat a dead horse, but look at this bunch of "girls"

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=154841

[paramedicmike]

Not to beat a dead horse, but look at this bunch of "girls"

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=154841

There are 476 posts in that thread. 476 stories that brought at least one person, usually many more than just one, to tears.

Medicgirl05, how are you doing? Any better? Any worse? What's going on? And with what can we help? (Since I don't think it was asked earlier.)

[uglyEMT]

Medic hang in there. We all have "those" calls. Its amazing why we get that way after a call. Sometimes its a benign call that hits us.

Check out this post http://www.emtcity.com/topic/19206-something-that-got-to-me/page-1#entry250036 +

We all have emotions if you hold them in for too long they will eat you up and make life miserable. I am glad to see you still have humanity left inside. What you now need is to find a release. Find something outside EMS that will let you let go. I wish for you that your peers realized what had happened and offered professional help. Talking to someone is a good thing.

Don't feel bad or embarassed that you broke down. Its human. We all do it and ANYONE thats says they don't is flat out bullshiting you! Hang in there and if you need a strong shoulder to cry on feel free, mine is always there for anyone that needs it.

Edited July 31, 2013 by uglyEMT

[medicgirl05]

I just feel like I can't get away from this call. It has been a month and it seems like everyone in the community still talks about it. Everyone has an opinion about what really happened and it makes me SO mad because I know what happened and they spread these stupid rumors about the people involved. Tonight I went to my grandparents house and they discussed it, they know I was there because they know what day it happened and they knew I was on shift.

It seems like every time I feel like I'm finally moving on somebody brings it up. I talked to a CISM counselor and that was pretty much a waste of time.

I'm frustrated at work because I haven't helped anyone in weeks, I just am a taxi service and I have little patience with our frequent fliers. I just started the degree program at UTHSCSA for Emergency Health Sciences and it should be pretty intense, but I just can't get my head in the game to give a crap, which is pretty awful since I just spent 3,000 on the semester.

I just keep waiting for things to get back to normal, but I feel like I'm climbing a mountain and every time I get halfway up an avalanche takes me right back to the bottom.

Thanks for the advice, and really it is nice to have people that seem to understand, since nobody I work with seems to ever have a bad call.

[mobey]

Been there: please read my post here as it outlines what worked for me.

No guarantees it will help you.... but it's all I got.

http://www.emtcity.com/topic/21642-longevity-in-ems/