Winter water rescue

[P_Instructor]

Emergency Crews Attempt To Rescue Olympic Figure Skater Who Fell Through Ice Sports News in Brief Sports olympics ISSUE 5007 Feb 19, 2014 0 0 0 SOCHI, RUSSIAIn a race against time, local emergency crews reportedly rushed to rescue Italian figure skater Carolina Kostner Tuesday after the Olympian plunged through a hazardous thin patch of ice during her short program at the Iceberg Skating Palace. Unfortunately she skated way out into the middle of the rink where the ice was weak and it collapsed instantly when she landed her triple axel, said rescue worker Ignativ Barkov, adding that Kostner ignored the sounds of cracking ice while performing an otherwise flawless step sequence and combination spin. We have to act fast or shell succumb to hypothermia. Granted, a world-class athlete like Kostner can withstand the initial shock for a few minutes, but her thin, sparkly leotard will do little to protect her from the deep and frigid water below the ice. At press time, crews were attempting another dive after initial efforts had only managed to recover a sequined headband and several loose rhinestones

[ERDoc]

Horrible, horrible tragedy.

[paramedicmike]

What am I missing?

[ERDoc]

It might help if there was a reference. It was reported by The Onion.

[paramedicmike]

I figured it was an Onion piece. Definitely not one of their stronger works.

... or maybe it's just that lack of sense of humour thing again.

[island emt]

OR ::: maybe they're just smoking crack as usual