Still Burning

[Chief1C]

I began the week at a high paying job, I ended the week with my tail between my legs. I sat and looked. That was what I was paid to do, sit and look; and act when needed. But it came with high risk, b/c of its nature. So you had to be on top of your game. You can't do that if you're tired. Between driving and working, I spent about eighteen hours conscious in a twenty four hour period. That's some pretty good pay. That's a pretty shitty lifestyle. So, one day I got up, and I was exhausted, I was having "stress pain", that's what I call undiagnosed personal chest pain. Yeah I know, shut up... I laid back down... Alarm went off again, I got up, unplugged it, and proceeded to violently smash it and my phone, with an antique spanner wrench, until I was satisfied, I got back in bed, and slept for about 25 hours. Then, of course, I was no longer employed.

So I'm taking a vacation... and I'm not doing shit... until the cash runs out... Then....? Go back to school? Get another job? Buy a gun?

So I opened my email, which I haven't done in like seven months, while extinguishing the fire burning inside with copious amounts of Seven&Seven... at about quarter to nine this morning. I've neglected my EMS duties, partly b/c I was consumed by my career doing it. And the first email... A new scope of practice, great, what the hell did they take away this time? I won't even get into that, I was so pissed off by the time I was done... First Responders can give narcan, but as of today, they are not allowed to splint a simple fracture, or assist with numerous things they were quite handy with assisting in. I fail to see the mentality there.

I'd add more, but I'm getting REALLY tired. I was prescribed THIRTY miligrams diazepam, per dose. 30! Is that normal? Or should I get a new doctor.... ha ha ha... yeah I'm on the nervous break down express and we're headed down the track attached to an unmanned locomotive.

Pardon any grammar or spelling errors.

Edited November 30, 2014 by Chief1C

[medicmole]

No job should ever have that kind of effect on our personal lives; I would say it is a good thing you are no longer employed by this company.

It would appear that you have been around long enough that you don’t need a stranger telling you what to do………But I will anyhow J If you are feeling as bad as you say then you need to talk to a professional before this eats you away completely, since you have a prescription I assume you have seen someone about this but drugs only help so much, you also need someone to talk to . TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you.

[paramedicmike]

Dude. You've got a lot of concerning statements wrapped up in that post. Please tell me you're getting help aside from a 30mg dose of valium.

Do NOT buy the gun.

[scubanurse]

I second Mike... don't buy a gun. I would get a different doctor, but not because of the Valium, more to help with your mental state. And probably a cardiologist for those chest pains.

Also, don't be a dummy and mix the valium with ETOH... you provide too much amusement to this site and you'd be missed.

[mikeymedic1984]

Agreed. time for new career, or at least different scenery in your EMS career (ER, ICU, mobile insurance exam giver, consulting, urgent care center, Prison, instructor, dispatcher, whatever). Your not making any money now, so dont let that be the decider of your new career. If you could do it all over again, WHAT WOULD YOU DO ? DO THAT, no matter the financial harm. As the old saying goes, do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life.

Most folks these days are projected to work at least 7 different occupations in their career, maybe it is time for you to move on to #2. I had a supervisor who's health got so bad, he was diagnosed with MS, 3 months after retiring with a disability, he was perfectly healthy ---- no job is worth that.

[Chief1C]

I'm taking a few or ten months to myself. To explore. I dunno what I'll do afterward. Go back to school? Always wanted to be a nurse. I'd prolly enjoy that. I will never work in the Natural Gas/Oil industry again. I'm a people person, or I was. Now I'm a dick. My job was to find what people were doing that wasn't safe, and they were fired for it. No warnings, no second chances. I was good at getting people fired. But I did a lot of things they didn't like. My office was like a massive first aid kit, I knew the Cintas guy more than anyone else - ha ha. I was expected to be stern and harsh, but if someone was hurt or sick - even if they'd get fired (not for being sick) - I was still compassionate. I enjoyed that, but lack of sleep was what ended it, I had my little melt down, had to pay for their phone.

I can't sleep all the time, so I got something different today. Makes me a little dizzy, but I haven't bled from anywhere, so I guess I'm on the good end of the side effects. ha ha ha...anyhoo.. I think I'll ease back into normalcy.

.and I won't buy any firearms.

[Chief1C]

After my tax refund and retirement check, I could have easily taken the next fifteen years off. ha ha.. But, the company I worked for lost it's contract and folded, virtually overnight. I got out just in time. Got bored doing nothing. Lasted about two months, work EMS again.