LGBT in EMS/Fire

[chbare]

I have to disagree with "don't ask don't tell." The subjects of kids, home life, life partners, relationships and so on come up naturally as most humans are socially inclined animals. This is particularly true in an intimate setting such as EMS where you may spend 12 or more hours in close contact with another person or a small group of people. I simply cannot see how such subjects would not come up as a natural consequence of normal social activities.

Unfortunately, in the United States, a whole bunch of people care. Going into elections, this is becoming an issue that potential candidates are already talking about on national and international multimedia. Additionally, the Supreme Court will be making a decision that will (hopefully) address the issue of equal treatment. Regardless of the decision, this country is markedly polarised on certain issues and to think that the issue will not be in the minds of EMS providers is probably rather myopic and naïve.

Remember, as little as two decades ago, these issues were largely buried and not at all on the forefront of the cultural consciousness of the United States. Things have changed in a big way and the zeitgeist of our nation and perhaps the world may very well be changing and doing so on the scale of human lifetimes.

[Just Plain Ruff]

Ok, clarification. I'm not saying don't ask don't tell, I'm saying don't be all out there and make a huge deal of it. Of course people care, you saw what happened in Indiana and Arkansas over the past 2 months so people do care.

What I'm saying is sure, tell me you are gay or don't tell me. If it comes up in conversation fine but once it crosses over to a big deal and begins to affect working relationships that is when I have an issue with it. Of course this stuff comes up in conversation and discussions but what I hate to see is for someone to make it a priority to tell everyone their business.

I've worked with many gay and lesbian people and the ones who didn't make a big deal about it were those I preferred over the ones who made every little thing about their sexual preference and if you said anything negative about the person it always, per that LBGT person, was about their sexual identityu when it wasn't.

Again, i don't care if you are gay, les, straight or whatever, that's not what should be driving the working relationship anyway.

It's not "don't ask, don't tell" it's don't make a huge deal of it.

[edogs334]

As someone who happens to be openly gay, and having volunteered as a paramedic in fire stations that were more/less conservative, I feel like I can speak from my own experience on this subject.  As ParamedicMike and others said, some of it depends on where you work and what mix of people you have in your service/station/department.  As far as my own experience goes, I was out to nearly everyone I volunteered with- although I didn't feel comfortable coming out to people right away.  Most people didn't accept it to the point that they wanted to march in a pride parade with me, but they didn't mind it to the point that we couldn't work together (and even have fun at times).  Some people even said: "wow, that's cool...so and so in my family is gay, too."   One of the older members even came up to me once and said: "nobody here cares that you're gay...they care about what kind of person you are."  When people at the station did like me, they liked me because I was who I was, not because was gay or straight.  One of the guys even felt comfortable enough to bear-tackle me every other time I came into the station- as a way of showing affection.  So the experience you have will depend on who you are as a person and how you generally mesh with others in your agency.  People in more religiously conservative communities may not be as open-minded to accepting people of different sexual orientations.  Although I will tell you- tolerance and acceptance can be found in the strangest of places- just like intolerance and hatred.  

I think there is one overarching theme re: this subject that is true regardless of where you work in EMS: that what ultimately matters most is the kind of person and EMS provider you are, NOT your sexual orientation.  It matters a lot more that you work hard, are a team player and step up to the plate when others are counting on you to help.  The 3 year old with 2nd degree burns to their chest who's screaming bloody murder won't care who you sleep with; neither will your partner if they're driving and you can't use a map book to navigate them to an unfamiliar address at 0300 hours.

My point is: if you're one of those people who gets ego satisfaction in being different from everyone (and flaunting it loudly), then EMS (or firefighting, for that matter) is probably not for you.  And that goes for anyone who wants to loudly and obnoxiously flaunt their personal differences at work- no matter what those differences encompass.  If you are, however, willing to set your personal differences aside, put on a uniform and do a job as part of a team with a common mission (for the greater good of your community), then by all means, get into EMS.  

 

PS: I think people have differences in opinion as to what constitutes "flaunting your sexuality in other people's faces."  In my book, casually bringing up the fact that you're gay or that you have a same-sex partner (in the context of normal conversation) doesn't constitute obnoxious behavior.  More conservative people might beg to differ with me here.   

Edited August 7, 2015 by edogs334

[Just Plain Ruff]

PS: I think people have differences in opinion as to what constitutes "flaunting your sexuality in other people's faces."  In my book, casually bringing up the fact that you're gay or that you have a same-sex partner (in the context of normal conversation) doesn't constitute obnoxious behavior.  More conservative people might beg to differ with me here.

 

I agree with you on this - and basically your whole post

The only gay people I have a problem working with are the ones with chips on their shoulders who think that they need to scream to the mountain tops at work that they are gay.  The types of people who get offended at you if you don't take them seriously and back them up when they feel slighted when someone doesn't support their lifestyle.  

I actually worked with someone recently who is gay, she is out and proud but she is also very out and vocally lesbian.  She makes it known that if you don't support the lifestyle she has, then she will go to HR and log a complaint of a hostile workplace.  She is for the lack of a better word, very nasty to work with.  Someone went to HR and lodged a hostile work complaint against her and it got really really nasty.  In the end, both employees ended up quitting.   i no longer work there but I just got a certified letter from a law office a request to appear on behalf of the lesbian in support of her case against the employer.  I called the law firm and declined the offer.  They told me they would subpoena me and I referred them to my attorney's office who I'm sure will tell them they will need to pay my airfare and expenses to Maryland which won't be cheap if they desire me to go, and I won't be a good witness for her anyway because she's such a bitch anyway.