Mental health issues as a provider

[m3dic911]

We all know running jokes about how we must all be crazy to do this job. There is a little truth in that to some degree.

There is a stigma about working with a mental illness and how you can be judged for it.

Does anyone have a mental illness? if so, how has it changed you as an EMS professional?

Since know one truly knows who i am, I can tell you a little bit about me and my current situation.

I have been diagnosed with Anti-social Personality disorder. I have a both psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies. Usually a person has one or the other but this isn't always the case, and the severity is also monitored. Years beck it was "you're a psychopath" then it was moved under the ASPD umbrella, and now there are two distinct categories" psychopath, and sociopath." well the line are being blurred once again with people like me. 

I am not violent, or harmful to anyone and for the most part you would never think I have ASPD unless you truly know me on a personal level. Which honestly, most people I encounter will only get to know the version of "me" that I portray to them.

This diagnosis is somewhat related to Borderline personality disorder but with a lot of twists.

So how can I work in a job that requires empathy or sympathy often? Well a person can fake it basically. Times arise when I have to put on a sad or happy face and basically show feelings I don't actually have.

When I deal with patients in a very bad state of physical being I just don't get sad. It's who I am.

I've been around child decapitations from car accidents and yes, even the rare grandma feels sick or dealing with cancer patients.

I have the natural instinct to view humans as machines. Machines have problems eventually, no matter what you do to care for them. We all die and we can attempt to delay death but we all die. This is an inevitable part of being mortal.

So, I try to be the best mechanic that I can and it all feels like one big puzzle. I have "X" amount of time to put as many pieces together as I can so I can make an estimation of the puzzle image.

My diagnosis doesn't inhibit me form providing patient care.

I was once told a quote that has always stuck with me, many people may disagree with it but many will also agree even if they wont admit it.

"If I care for you, you think I care about you"

 

So does anyone else have a behavioral/psychiatric diagnosis?

[Just Plain Ruff]

Please don't take this the wrong way but this is sort of scary, but please, take this in a non-judgemental way.  I don't know you so I can't judge you, but what you wrote is sort of scary to me as I don't know and if what you wrote is true, then this just makes me wonder how many others with your same disorder, are out there working in a "normal" capacity with me or others.  

I don't hold it against you for coming "out" to us so to speak, since we don't know you, we cannot judge you, yet we will.  

 

 

[scubanurse]

I have PTSD and postpartum depression/anxiety and it has changed me as a provider.  There are some patients that make me use all my positive coping skills to treat, and there are others that remind me that this is why I lived.  

As far as your diagnosis, man, I'm not sure.  I am all for openness when it comes to mental illness and believe that the more we talk about it, the better we'll all be.  ASPD is a pretty hefty diagnosis to carry and is not given lightly to people.  There are those that would question whether I should be a trauma nurse or not based on my diagnosis, so I only can imagine what your co-workers think of yours.  Good luck and I hope you can be a solid provider for your patients.

[Just Plain Ruff]

I guess my question would be, do your co-workers or  your management know of your diagnosis? And if they do, how do they treat you?  Do they treat you any differently?  

 

[m3dic911]

My company and coworkers do not know. Also, they never will. I do what I can't blend in but a few know I am not like them but they don't know how or why.

Ruffneister, you state it is "scary" 

how is it scary?  I believe that people who put emotions into the mix are scary. They have the simple ability to neglect the physical,mechanical aspect of a human being.

 I can never see it how you do. TV shows violence,anger or malicious activity with people with a similar type of diagnosis. 

 

[Just Plain Ruff]

My company and coworkers do not know. Also, they never will. I do what I can't blend in but a few know I am not like them but they don't know how or why.

Ruffneister, you state it is "scary" 

how is it scary?  I believe that people who put emotions into the mix are scary. They have the simple ability to neglect the physical,mechanical aspect of a human being.

 I can never see it how you do. TV shows violence,anger or malicious activity with people with a similar type of diagnosis. 

 

Like I said,  no offense was intended,  that diagnoses is just scary and the connotation behind it certainly is a scary thought.   Again, not saying you would do anything to someone but the diagnosis is scary to me.  I may not have been clear on that.  

 

And with it being scary to me (the diagnosis and what's behind it) I can only imagine your first thoughts when you were diagnosed.  

[m3dic911]

I still don't understand why it is scary? I asked why it is scary and you reply with it "is just scary" I was hoping for a more informed answer and not the same word being used over and over with no backing as to why you have they feeling. Why is it "scary" as you put it?

I  had no specific thoughts about my diagnosis. I am who I am, and this is my normal. This is not a situation where I feel bad and then a mental health professional tells me what I have and how it can be fixed. There is no relief as there is nothing to be relieved from.

When I need my car fixed, I don't care if the mechanic truly cares about my car. My car is an object that I own in which facilitates my life to become easier in many aspects. 

A person is no more than a machine. We even use the term "mechanical" in reference to different "mechanisms" in our body. So, as a provider I ensure that I do my best to address these issues. 

There is no requirement for attachment,feelings or other emotions in the field. These are subjected upon people  so the patient "feels" they are being treated to a proper level, we know that how a patient feels about the treatment and the actual treatment can be completely different.

 

 

You may question my motives for this thread. It needs to be clear that a stigma associated with any form of psychiatric condition may not be warranted. Patient care can be altered from a vast array of factors only one is of a psychiatric disorder. I understand that there are not many people like me, but there may be more than you are aware of, maybe even someone you know or come into contact with. You most likely will never know, because it doesn't effect the aspect of their life you see.

 

[Just Plain Ruff]

Dude,  all I can say is that to me, having that diagnosis told me would be unsettling and a little scary.  Is that better.  I don't intend to argue this point with you as I don't have a better answer for you other than what I have given you.  Do you wish to argue words with me?  I hope not.  

But if you want the truth,  If you told me that you had this diagnosis Anti-social Personality disorder. and you have  both psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies, I am sorry but I would not let you near my children or my family.  No offense to you but honestly, and be pissed off if you wish, I have no idea what you are capable of.  Psychpathic and sociopathic tendencies just scares the crap out of me and honestly "scares" (theres that word again) me for lack of a better word.  I don't know you from adam so I'm sure you are the greatest of guys but I don't know that and until I get to know you.

According to what I found this is a list - A pretty significant list of dangerous activity or behaviour that would preclude you from ever being around my children but I'm sure that is the reason why you keep your diagnosis private.  And Again, this is nothing personal against you, you asked for reasons why I find your diagnosis "scary"  these 7 items are 7 of the reasons why.  

The APA's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition, text revision (DSM IV-TR), defines antisocial personality disorder (Cluster B):^[7]

A) A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three or more of the following:

1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
2. deception, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

The individual is at least age 18 years.

C) There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.

D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) falls under the dramatic/erratic cluster of personality disorders, the so-called "Cluster B."

 

Was that a better response, were you looking for something like that?  

[m3dic911]

I find it amusing that when citing you use the incorrect/ older version of the DSM. 

Currently the APA uses the DSM V.

Also you are singling out possible behaviors/symptoms.

You do understand  most likely you will never know if a person has ASPD. You won't even have a clue, you will be oblivious.

The prejudice is amazing, out of pure ignorance. 

 

 

Do do you also fear people that have PTSD because there is a possibility that severs cases can manifest at different times? You avoid them, you show prejudice against them out of ignorance. 

 

Night as as well avoid driving too, since your family are more likely to be  killed in his activity you subject them to. 

You have fear without knowledge which is just ignorance.

 

Because I am not remorseful of my actions I'm a bad person? You are making an assumption lotion that my actions would be something I would need to be remorseful about. 

It's true, I've never cried out of fear, out of emotional pain. Yet, that doesn't put you in any direct danger. 

I am not a predator, you are not my prey.  I have never committed harm to someone praise of the legal scope covering my position.

I'm a law abiding, tax paying citizen who just happens to perceive emotions in a different way. I have assimilated in a way you won't think I'm any different, just not a super friendly person to strangers.

Most violent crimes are committed by people with out any mental illness/ psychiatric disorder.  Where is the fear towards them? 

I understand you don't hold a degree or a profession where you would have vast knowledge about the topics that we have attempted to cover.

 

instead of encoding on the emotional ride, how about research how we do adapt to normal society, how we are often no threat at all.

Here is a very short read for you. This might shed some light on the normalcy of a persons life with ASPD.

http://www.businessinsider.com/what-its-like-to-have-antisocial-personality-disorder-2014-4

 

I ironically enough have a B.S in Psychology as well as being a paramedic. 

This year I have also submitted applications to Medical School and have had one interview.

I am productive inspite of being a little different from other people. 

 

[Just Plain Ruff]

I find it amusing that when citing you use the incorrect/ older version of the DSM. 

Currently the APA uses the DSM V.

Also you are singling out possible behaviors/symptoms.

You do understand  most likely you will never know if a person has ASPD. You won't even have a clue, you will be oblivious.

The prejudice is amazing, out of pure ignorance. 

 

 

Do do you also fear people that have PTSD because there is a possibility that severs cases can manifest at different times? You avoid them, you show prejudice against them out of ignorance. 

 

Night as as well avoid driving too, since your family are more likely to be  killed in his activity you subject them to. 

You have fear without knowledge which is just ignorance.

 

Because I am not remorseful of my actions I'm a bad person? You are making an assumption lotion that my actions would be something I would need to be remorseful about. 

It's true, I've never cried out of fear, out of emotional pain. Yet, that doesn't put you in any direct danger. 

I am not a predator, you are not my prey.  I have never committed harm to someone praise of the legal scope covering my position.

I'm a law abiding, tax paying citizen who just happens to perceive emotions in a different way. I have assimilated in a way you won't think I'm any different, just not a super friendly person to strangers.

Most violent crimes are committed by people with out any mental illness/ psychiatric disorder.  Where is the fear towards them? 

I understand you don't hold a degree or a profession where you would have vast knowledge about the topics that we have attempted to cover.

 

instead of encoding on the emotional ride, how about research how we do adapt to normal society, how we are often no threat at all.

Here is a very short read for you. This might shed some light on the normalcy of a persons life with ASPD.

http://www.businessinsider.com/what-its-like-to-have-antisocial-personality-disorder-2014-4

 

I ironically enough have a B.S in Psychology as well as being a paramedic. 

This year I have also submitted applications to Medical School and have had one interview.

I am productive inspite of being a little different from other people. 

 

It's not my responsibility to deal with your disease so I'm done with this discussion. You came here asking our thoughts, I gave you mine and you proceeded to ridicule and criticise my thoughts.  I am done with you and this discussion, not because I'm pissed of that you are doing so, but because this discussion between us is non-productive.  It is not my responsibility to have to provide valid DSM IV citings and anything of the sort, I was just using a website that I found, I did not know that I was required to provide the most recent and current sources to suit your agenda here, and agenda, I believe you have.  

And now that we know each other better, I bet neither of us likes each other any better, am I right???   ha ha 

So I am done here, I gave my thoughts, which you criticised each time that I gave them so we are done. Maybe someone else will take your bait and give you what you need in this thread but that will no longer be me.  

I do wish you the best in whatever venture you attempt and may it be as successful as it can be, but as for this conversation, consider it closed.