AK...Medic No More.

[akflightmedic]

The time has come, and admittedly it has been with extreme mixed emotions, confusion, and moments of "lost identity".

As of 12/31/2022, for the first time since 1993, I no longer hold an active EMS License. It's over. I opted to not renew my licenses. I knew this day would come; however, I always expected it to be on my terms. In December of 2019, I suffered a catastrophic work-related injury. I tore my right biceps tendon, and I have not been the same since.

I was lifting an obese, right BKA being discharged from hospital. This was not even a scene call!! I had just dropped off a patient and was assisting the small town ER with a discharge, "please help get this woman into her car". She was very non-cooperative, there were other ongoing things at same time, end result ultimately was she flopped against me during a lift, and my right arm went instantly flaccid then began excruciating pain. I have had surgical consults, I have done PT, I have reached maximum point of healing, and I was not cleared to do what I have done my entire adult life. I continued to complete CEUs, refusing to accept what was. It took me many, many months of reflection to finally just accept it, and let it go. Thankfully, I have my RN to fall back on, with other side ventures, however the one thing I have identified with the most, the one thing I have done my entire adult life, the one thing that has taken me to places I never could have imagined, has now been snatched from me.

30 years of EMS.

I no longer can say "I'm just a Medic".

I have been avoiding this site intentionally for quite a while, for so many reasons. This site is and always will be very special to me. The many years I spent as a contributor, it helped me grow, change, and become a better person and a better provider. Over the years, I have made so many friends via this site. I literally have met dozens of its members all across the US and some of them abroad. Due to my years of traveling, this was easy to accomplish, and it was an absolutely amazing experience. I think, unless something has changed, that I also hosted the one and only EMT City Annual Meetup. LOL@ Annual. 

This site has allowed me to forge so many friendships, both virtual and in person. Several of you became co-workers, some of you became employees when I started my business, some of you are just genuine friends, and of course one in particular person was very special to me. She was kind, intelligent, funny, and just an all-around amazing human being whom I think of often. Though many of these relationships have come and gone, there are several which I believe will simply be lifelong. This site has been amazing in the sense that I have been allowed to be part of so many people pursuing their advancement in EMS, careers outside EMS, love, marriage, kids, illness, and yes, death. It always seems "too soon", when some of our members, my friends, die. However, this and all I mentioned are part of life. Being a Paramedic led me to this site, and this site led me to so many amazing adventures and relationships. So yes, I do become a bit over emotional when I visit this site, when I see old names, when I reminisce while reading old posts. This site has been significant to my life, mostly because I have had so many relationships expand beyond the keyboard. 

I am unsure where my journeys will take me next, unsure if I want to even visit EMS sites (just an emotional process, especially this one), however I do hope to continue visiting here and contributing more. We shall see what comes. I will try to not sound like the old fart sitting on the porch, telling the kids to get off my lawn, while simultaneously telling everyone how it used to be and how "back in my day..."

[yakc130]

Damn. That really sucks.

What is preventing your bicep from fully recovering? The extent of the injury? Age? Is it limiting you from doing stuff off duty for everyday normal life?

I can't even imagine what I would do.

[Lone Star]

AK,

I'll admit, I haven't been around nearly as much as I used to be, but each and every one of my friends here is very special to me.

 

I can totally relate to the situation you're in, as I continually wrestle with the same conundrum each renewal cycle.  My COPD isn't going to get any better and it's getting harder and harder to hump gear.

 

Please know that you've been instrumental in the shaping of many careers, and at the same time, sent a bunch of 'hacks and quacks' packing back to the locker room.  Remember that even if you do let the EMT-P license go, you've got a lot of friends here, and your knowledge of our craft will always be invaluable.

 

Besides, where would some of these 'wet behind the ears, know nothing, snot nosed EMT's be without 'Old Road Dogs' like us, whacking them with our canes once in a while?

[emtannie]

I haven't been around in forever. I have to admit, I was cleaning up my email account that I rarely use anymore, and saw a notification for this post. 

I'm so sorry. Leaving EMS is hard. It's not just a job - it's a part of your personality. 
I have no words of wisdom, except take time for you. You'll figure out where you want and need to be. 

And if you end up travelling in western Canada, give me a shout!

Take care.