Feeling Trapped...

[samson722]

I have a problem I was hoping someone could help me with. I been with my dept on and off for probably a year, on summer vacation, and I'm still trying to get well-adjusted and feel confident in myself. Seeing as we have a very low call volume out here, I'm not sure how to rectify that. I'm also going to college for music out in Boston. I've always had a huge desire to work as an EMT, but I am finding that I lack confidence. I've been as active as I can with a full time job during the summer, because my parents insist that I maintain another job. This presents a problem because I really do need to get experience to gain confidence. Right now I'm on the verge of tears because I had a talk with my boss, and he had said that as a probationary EMT he had very little confidence in my abilities (which only compounds my issues). He knows that I'm trying, but in his mind, he doesn't see any way that he can help me improve. Basically, I'm distraught because he gave me an ultimatum...When I get back this summer, if I don't successfully gain his confidence as a crew member, he'll cut me loose.

I understand that if I'm running around on calls, trying, but sometimes failing, this is not a positive thing. I just wish I felt that there was help and support for me out there. I really want to make this work, more than anything else I can think of, and I've NEVER quit at anything, I just don't know what to do about this situation. Any thoughts?

[Michael]

This do-it-yourself rational approach to emotional balance (no gimmicks) helped me mucho:

http://threeminutetherapy.com/

[medik8]

:wink:

Hi Samson...

First of all, you've come to the right place. This City has a bunch of great people with many years of experience and wise advice. Although views and perspectives vary from time to time (as in any case), we'll help you all we can. The variety of posts you will receive will help you see all sides of your situation and hopefully, give you the help you need.

Everyone in this business falls prey to what you are experiencing when they are new. Even those of us who seem to be "naturals" are at one time or another doubting our abilities inside. I know I did. :shock: As I recall, I didn't feel any real rock solid amount of confidence until I was into EMS at least two years. There are still times when I've had a particularly stressful call or bad day, that I beat myself up and wonder...did I do the right thing, or could I have done something different. All these second guesses lead to the possibility of developing lack of confidence, although, I feel it IS important to be a critic of yourself. It keeps you thinking, and evaluating your performance, and therefore, helps you to become an even better EMT or medic. To always keep learning...that is the real challenge I try to give myself to be the best I can be. There is always something that I can learn better, or in a different way. We all can.

I notice in your post that you say that you really want to make this work more than anything. You definitely have the right attitude. It sounds like EMS is in your heart, and that's the first step to being good at what you do. But, you also mentioned that you never quit at anything. These two statements are alike, but kind of different in that...I just want to make sure that this is what you want to do, first and foremost. If you are hanging around just because you don't want to be a quitter...that's not really the right reason. Although, I seem to gather that you want to do this. After you determine that, then don't give up. Some of us may be better at something than others, but we all have the ability to do what our heart desires, you just may have to work a little harder at it.

My advice to you is to sit down in a quiet place and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what it is that you feel you are not confident about. Is it patient care, deciding on proper care, assessment? Are you BLS or part of an ALS team? Are you familiar with your truck? Are you comfortable with how everything works? There are many questions here. Some contribute to lack of confidence, and will smooth out in time. Education can be a key.

Is it that you are nervous on calls? If ALS, when a medic asks you to provide care, do you panic? Do you know how to do what you are asked to do? Do you work with individuals that make you uncomfortable? I'd like to know what it is that makes you feel uncomfortable, exactly, and then I feel I can have a more productive discussion with you. I've had new partners that I could tell, in the first minute of a call, that they were nervous, scared, and/or disorganized. A year later, after providing some opportunities for frank discussions (away from work), extra training on equipment or interventions that made them apprehensive, reassurance, and positive coaching, some of those same people are my best partners now, and you'd never know they ever had a confidence problem. Sometimes it just takes someone to genuinely care, and listen. I may not have all the answers, but I promise I'll give it my best shot.

Expand on your thoughts a little. I'd like to help all I can. :wink:

8

[Ridryder 911]

Having self confidence is one of those qualities that is not included in the job description or can be taught in school, or tested. I agree, as you describes it comes with experience. From what I understand from your post is that your supervisor doubts your confidence level, because of lack of experience?..

This sounds like a double edge sword... I suggest maybe practicing skills, talking to other crew members to help make suggestions. This business, requires one to develop a "thick-skin".. and to be appreciate of constructive criticism. With this saying you will also need to develop a mental satisfaction that you provide the best care, when you do deliver care. That is all that is expected from you. I forewarn you there is a fine line from confidence and cockiness, in which no one likes.

I wonder from the discussion of your supervisor, that this is the true problem. The "lack of self confidence" appears to be a broad statement. I hope he can give you more examples and specifics to work upon. Is the "lack of self confidence" in client care or performance in the field? again, specifics to work upon...

I wish you the best of luck...

Be safe,

R/R 911

[pmedic623]

I understand that if I'm running around on calls, trying, but sometimes failing, this is not a positive thing. I just wish I felt that there was help and support for me out there. I really want to make this work, more than anything else I can think of, and I've NEVER quit at anything, I just don't know what to do about this situation. Any thoughts?

First, I take by your first sentence that you actually "run around" on calls which my be your first problem. Running around on scene usually gives the impression that you are panicking and don't have a clue what you are doing so first point slow down a little and take some deep breaths. I've had both good and bad partners thruogh the years and you can usually tell if they are just nervous and going to make good partners or just don't have a clue. Look, I go on vacation for two weeks and get back to work and feel a little rusty my first shift back, it's the nature of the business, but things should start to come back pretty quick. I guess if you work at a slow service and don't get alot of skills and then leave for an extended period your going to probably be a little rusty on your first couple of calls but I wouln't sweat it to bad. One other thing maybe other people have a "help and support" place they can go but this is EMS so if your partner can't be a "help and support" for you, then forget it........

[kemt217]

Hang in there, with time the confidence comes. We have all been there. I work full-time for a service with a low call volume and understand what you are going through. As the others have suggested, educate yourself on any equipment you are unsure of. Talk to your boss if you can and ask him for more specifics, or anything he may suggest to change things. If you are looking for constant pats on the back to be reassured you are doing the right thing, it probably isn't going to happen. You have to have pretty thick skin as Ridryder said in this line of work.

Keep your chin up, it will get better!!

[cfaulknor]

Perhaps if it's at this stage, you might want to consider a company that might be a little more supportive. Good Luck

[JPINFV]

First and foremost, how much time do you have till you go back?

Second, you need to find where your problem is.

• Are you having problems connecting what you learned in basic class to real life?

Are you having problems examining and treating patients?

Class and real life are two separate situations. All of a sudden you are going from a world where everyone has a bubble around them of personal space, to a time when you have to look and touch a patient. We've all been there, and these are tough things to fix without dealing with a low call volume.

If you have time before you go back, I would suggest "shadowing" a local ER doctor (especially one that is highly involved with EMS if you can). I'm suggesting this for several reasons:

• You get to see a lot of emergent, urgent, moderate, and mild patients. 90%+ of the time, you can tell if a person is sick by looking at them.

You get to deal with patients in a controlled environment. If one of your problems is touching a patient (no, not touching like that... :roll: 8) )

It should be more flexible then any sort of payed or volunteer job. Work it around your school schedule. School comes first.

You should get to learn how to do an actual exam (not this cook book nonsense that paramedics teach to basics in basic class).

Just make sure to talk with the doc before starting. Premeds (not saying you are one) shadow doctors all the time, so it probably isn't going to be the first time anyone has asked to shadow.

Another thing to do is to start signing up for bio classes. You don't necessarily need to take bio 3000, biochem [shudders. I hate biochem...]. Take bio 101 (should cover the basics including cell theory), and a few other ones. Get into an anatomy or physiology class, if you can (these are upper division where I'm at). The non-major bio classes can be very informational and interesting, too. General chemistry is also a good series to take. Your take on patient care is going to be different when you know the what, when, where, and why of what you're doing.

[GAmedic1506]

My guess is that the lack of confidence isnt the only or primary problem. If you were my employee I would do the following:

1. Advise you to concentrate on one career, and to put all of your energy into it, whether that is music or ems. Also, you need to do what you want to do, not what your parents want. All parents want their children to be doctors or lawyers, they may not realize that on average technical school graduate makes more than a traditional college graduate. Regardless of pay, you need to do what makes you happy. By "concentrate", I mean you should really focus on improving your skills, not just sit around the station waiting on a call. a) study books take classes c)ride-third on off days d)pick the brains of those around you

2. I would ask to be put with the best medic possible, who likes to teach (if the schedule doesnt allow it, come ride third on your free time).

3. I would arrange for some clincal time at your local ER, you will see more in one day at the ER, than you will in a month at a slow service.

4. Email me through this venue, I will be happy to provide a phone number where you can call me to discuss the issue further.

[EMS49393]

Once again, I'm going to totally disagree with GAMedic. You don't learn confidence, you develop it. I hate have to be brutally honest and tell you the best way to develop confidence in talking and taking care of patients is to work a private ambulance transfer gig on a BLS unit. There is very little stress in running transfers. Perhaps less then 1 in 100 ever go totally south. Most transfers are DNR, which take the pressure off of having to work a possible code in transit. You'll get a chance to talk to your patients. Use it as an opportunity to do a full assessment, regardless of how many EMTs laugh at the notion of a full assessment on a transfer. If you're taking over care of any patient, you own them and yourself a full assessment. You'll begin to be able to correlate medications and diseases. You'll be forced to function independently. It sounds boring, and I know so many EMTs that feel they are above running the renal roundup, but I assure you the experience is invaluable. It also enables you to develop this very important skill while being PAID to do it. I would never go to work and ask to ride third for FREE. If you do it for free, they have no reason to pay you.

FYI, I ran on a BLS transfer truck for about a year when I started my career over a decade ago. That year was essential to my ability to feel comfortable interacting with a patient.

If you're just not interested in EMS and your passion is music, then you should consider leaving this profession. The educational demands are often too great for moonlighters.