who said cops arnt funny

[scootyboy2]

So you thought police officers didn't have a sense

of humor.... The following were taken off of actual

police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're

new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make

your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per

second? In case you didn't know, that is the

average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from

my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were

going. I guess that means I can write anything

I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,

but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention

that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm

warning you not to do that again or I'll give

you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a

cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is

a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton

candy, and step in monkey $#*!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets

and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust,all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We

used to have quotas but now we're allowed to

write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good

personal friend of yours. At least you know someone

who can post your bail."

and the best one .

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

.... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here."

[Jeep_911]

LMBO

Thats hilarious!!!

[AZCEP]

I think #8 just made it into my LOC question list.

[Dsmittty911]

Gee Some of those sound pretty familiar I've used a few of them more than once. Let's see #'s 4, 5, 12 and 13. My favorites were 4 and 13.

[JakeEMTP]

They were all excellent!!!!!!!!!

My personal favorite was number #1!!!!!!!!

[Richard B the EMT]

I quote #3 quite often.

[xselerate]

haha I'm setting up new away messages right now

[mommaparamedic]

LMAO...half my family in law enforcement..have to send this to them

[AnthonyM83]

Cops are the funniest people I know

[Ridryder 911]

Very Good indeed!......

R/R 911