The correct way to come home drunk

[kodiac_x]

Two married friends are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway; I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house; I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up, and yells at me for staying out so late!

His friend looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" and she acts like she's sound asleep! Works Every Time!!!

[Ridryder 911]

You know, I see some truth in that ...LOL

R/R 911

[rat115]

And it works both ways.

[hammerpcp]

LMAO @ puts his foot in the toilet....

[itku2er]

This is funny and so much like a typical male gezzzz

T :angel12:

[MedicNorth]

I have spotted the problem - My wife would wake up upset if I crawled into bed with a wet leg and smelling of pee, too!

[brainurz]

Men can come in drunk and not get caught?!?! How the hell do they manage that? I get caught no matter what I do :roll: Even when I get drunk at home I get caught!

[medik8]

:roll: I guess I work the opposite of things.....that would NOT make me go to sleep. lmao.

8

[medicnine]

I cannot stop laughing. F*&^%@g funny

[IreneRN_ED]

the diffence between Balls & Guts:

Guts: A man is out late with his pals, is assaulted by his wife with a broom & asks her if she's still cleaning or is she flying off somewhere.

Balls: A man comes home late, reeking of beer & perfume, with lipstick on his collar, and slaps his wife on the a** & says,

"You're next!"