Stupid things you've said on calls

[Beagle189]

Cardiac arrest scene, when we walked in a hot looking young woman doing CPR on what appeared to be a 50 y.o. male. We took over and began treatment. Lo and behold we got a pulse back w/ respirations. Pt. starts moving. We begin to package to pt and I look at the woman who is crying and ask if he was family - she just nodded. So I say "It looks good We got your "FATHER'S" heartbeat and respirations back." She stops crying and w/ a hateful whisper "That's my Husband you Moron!"

[medic_9]

I do the ask a question and don't listen for an answer quite often, so don't feel bad. Just have to remember to listen..ugh..

Ok..my shining moment:

Called for severe abdo pain...(what's new)

Get on scene, patient sitting on a kitchen chair holding his left side/back. I immediately think of kidneys and kidney stones. While I'm doing my assessment my partner is talking to the family with me interjecting questions when one comes up. Daughter tells us patient had something wrong with his spleen in the recent past. I only catch part of that and for some reason thought that they were talking about the kidneys (but were calling them the spleen!?!...I know doesn't make sense but it did then) So trying to ascertain if that could be the problem today.

Brilliant me: "Was that the right or left spleen?"

My partner and the daughter just looked at me strangely. So I realize what I said and tried to explain.

Now this is were who your partner is makes a difference. The guy I was working with instead of being supportive made me feel even worse..

Btw..did I mention that the daughter was a home care RN?

[Michael]

Aren't you gonna tell us which spleen it was?

[FarNorthMedic]

We had a call one time for an elderly patient. She arrested shortly after we arrived on scene. We worked the arrest with the assistance of FD and were just about to call it. I was already running through what I was going to tell the family in my head. I reached down to check her pulse and realised she in fact had one. So i blurted out the first thing that crossed my mind; "Holy Ca Ca, she has a pulse". Admittedly not one of my more professional moments.

Kind of the same thing here.

Code after code, never a save....then one night it worked! I grabbed for a pulse check and sure enough A PULSE! I said to my partner ".....ah, now what?!?!". This isn't what is supposed to happen :? Everything went perfect that night except that 'reassuring' comment.

On a side note the women is still living over two years later and still comes to visit us on her birthdays and december 1st (the day she coded).

[AnthonyM83]

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that. Please forgive me. Mrs. Phelps, but do you mind if I ask you then, What did your husband do before he died?'

"He went:" [grabs at her chest with both hands, grimaces and screams]

Is it gutter brain bad of me that I spent about 15 seconds re-reading trying to figure out the sexual innuendo there before realizing there was none. Chest actually means chest, not boobs, and it's his, not hers. Ah, I have my moments.

[Medic2588]

Thanks for the opportunity for a shameless plug! You can get great stupid comments in my books.

We had an old lady crying that she wished her daughter would be there at the hospital for her. I said "No to worry, I'm sure she'll be there waiting for you when we get there." She nearly had a heartattack and said "My daughter died four years ago."

Usually helps if I actually pay attention to what people are saying to me.

Devin

[chazmedic]

I'm throwing in another one. Same shooting call I started this thread with. When my partner and I got out of the ambulance, for some unknown stupid reason we both got out and walked up with NO equipment. None, zip, nada. Knew it was a shooting call, report of multiple gunshots. Strolling up like we're about to order lunch. Head so far up my a** the lump in my throat had to be my nose.

Anyway, I just threw down the brilliant So-what's-going-on question. It then dawns on me "Holy sh**, we need everything!" So I say out loud, in front of 10 bystanders and witnesses, to my partner who is standing 2 feet away: "HOLY SH**, WE NEED EVERYTHING!" :shock:

Ah, those shining moments of professionalism.

[hammerpcp]

I'm throwing in another one. Same shooting call I started this thread with. When my partner and I got out of the ambulance, for some unknown stupid reason we both got out and walked up with NO equipment. None, zip, nada. Knew it was a shooting call, report of multiple gunshots. Strolling up like we're about to order lunch. Head so far up my a** the lump in my throat had to be my nose.

Anyway, I just threw down the brilliant So-what's-going-on question. It then dawns on me "Holy sh**, we need everything!" So I say out loud, in front of 10 bystanders and witnesses, to my partner who is standing 2 feet away: "HOLY SH**, WE NEED EVERYTHING!" :shock:

Ah, those shining moments of professionalism.

LMAO!

That is classic!

[Scaramedic]

My partner and I responded to a cardiac arrest, the door was answered by an extremely sweet elderly lady who pointed us to her husband laying on the floor, she then disappeared into the kitchen. We started working the code, but every time I had a question she would pop out answer the question and then ask something like "are you boys hungry?", "I have cookies I just Baked" or "would you like a soda, I think I have Pepsi." So I found myself uttering the following phrase "CLEAR! (shock) no thanks ma'am we just ate, maybe next time."

[medicgirl69]

Here goes - not necessarily something that was "said" on the call by us - but my partner and I were on scene of an 11-44 waiting for coroner to arrive, deceased patient's sister is standing next to us - my partner's CELL PHONE starts ringing with the VERY LOUD "Another One Bites the Dust" Song - my partner is so flustered by this, she is fumbling around in her pocket to turn it off and can't. Needless to say, she no longer takes her cell phone with her on calls.