Stupid things you've said on calls

[becksdad]

:laughing3:

[Timmy]

My imagination explodes.

What ever floats your boat

[Michael]

And always keep a snorkel handy.

[becksdad]

For diving?

[becksdad]

I have a cute little story....

You know how you kind of get this feel for patients, and you know the ones you can joke with, and when you can, etc? Well, we had this lady once, a nice lady, but really down to earth and had a neat sense of humor, but she kept apologizing for calling us. I forget what her complaint was, but since she really did feel bad for calling us, we're trying to get her to laugh about it.

We also had a student riding with us, and he was practicing his IV skills, so he did all the IV's. As he prepared to obtain access, he said to her, "OK, you're going to feel a little prick".

So my partner goes: "He says that to all his girlfriends!" Our patient just completely cracked up laughing!

[Michael]

That's wonderful.

Back when colleges held "mixers" (I'm told), an athlete who seemed too shy to come out on the floor was accosted by what was then called a co-ed, who demanded, "Do ya wanna dance?" to which he replied, "Well, I would, but, you see, I'm just a little stiff from crew."

"I don't care where you're from!" she assured him. "Do you wanna dance?"

Your story's better, besides being more likely to be true.

[MeekoBB]

Thanks for the opportunity for a shameless plug! You can get great stupid comments in my books.

We had an old lady crying that she wished her daughter would be there at the hospital for her. I said "No to worry, I'm sure she'll be there waiting for you when we get there." She nearly had a heartattack and said "My daughter died four years ago."

Usually helps if I actually pay attention to what people are saying to me.

Devin

Still my favorite story from the book is you driving the wrong way by the tunnel and a guy holding up a clipboard in front of your face saying that NOW he recognized you.

Still funny sht in them books there

Hmmm, I **know** I say stupid sht all the time. I make myself look like a fool with half the things I say because until it dawns on me what I said, I'll be dead serious...then I laugh at myself. I honestly cannot think of anything right now because my head hurts so much.

[MeekoBB]

I was sitting at home for this one and almost had to call squad myself for injuries involving a shishkabob skewer as a result of ROFLing too close to our BBQ command...

Dispatch: (tones) ***** City **96 Please respond to the **** Block of Taffey Court to a female pt......... to a female pt c/o stray cat bite to the head.... (hissing and spitting heard in dispatch background) (more tones) ***** City **96...... (Uncontrollable laughter) Please (still laughing) respond to Taffey Ct.......... (hissing and giggles) to a pt......... to a pt c/o (again laughing uncontrollably throughout) a cat bite to the head. ***** County (can't stop laughing) 2043.

Someone else in the county: Meow!

So you know, Taffey Ct has a lot of our frequent flyers and it seems every so often they come up with a new way to try to get into our drug bag. This scenario didn't work.. Also, another dispatcher was behind the one giving the call doing the hissing and spitting while the rest of the office there was wailing. It is as of yet unknown who keyed up and meowed...

Lol, At my ambulance corps' yearly dinner, a neighboring city stole reindeer antlers headband from one of our members that was given to her as a Darwin award. Since then, one of our members tends to occassionally go on the radio, when the particular member is on shift from the neighboring town and says in a deep creepy voice "we want our antlers!" or simply "antlers"

[theotherphil]

We got called to a 20yof, 38 weeks pregnant, birth imminent. I casually walk up to the door and ring the bell. A large hysterical young lady meets us at the door. I calmly say, "Hey, stop jumping about like that and keep your legs together or you'll drop right there."

She replied, "it's not for me - my mate is through there."

[theotherphil]

We went to a 17yom last night, taken an overdose of 40x 500mg Paracetamol (acetaminophen) literally five minutes previously and living right across the road from the hospital. I knock on his front door and he steps out and locks his door and says "Shall we?"

I reply, "Shall we what? I don't dance with other guys young man!"

Another call last night to an elderly lady who had fallen out of bed in a care home. Obvious #NOF. She was covered in a blanket. Before removing the blanket to assess, I ask her if she is wearing any panties. She replies that she is. I said without thinking "You're obviously not from around here then."

Cue funny looks from the female nursing staff.