Stupid things you've said on calls

[Chayeisarah]

I once picked up a man with bilat lacs on his neck, 11 puncture wounds to his chest and one puncture wound to the adb. He walked out of the woods.

This is when you really hate asking the stupid questions when you already know the answers but you have to ask.

me: So were you trying to hurt yourself?

him: WTF do you think?

me: My guess is yes.

me: what are those scars from on your arms ( 1" wide by 12" long both arms right up the middle)

him: WTF do you think?

I was getting nowhere with this guy for obvious reasons.

me: this just dosnt look like you lucky day. Hey next time try a hunting knife with a hook at the end. Youll catch the jugular. (normaly i say it in my head. But something didnt keep in inside i said that all outloud. Opps. But we havent heard from him sense. guess he took my advice.

If i was this guy and tried that hard to kill myself i would be pissy to at someone patching me up and bringing me back to the one place that will save the life i was trying to take.

You all can shoot me now for not following the feel sorry for suicidal people thing. thats not me.

I guess you can only find this funny if you were there. hummmmm owell

I am like you. Damn it if your going to commit suicide dont piss and moan about your failed attempts, do it right the first time. And whats with the suicide hotline. If they are going to "attempt" suicide they are going to do it with or without the help of a caring and compassinate person on the other line.

[Awolfa]

After reading 9 pages of these wonderful tales I have to contribute my Best 3 moments in Public service.....

1. Me and a fellow firefighter were studying for our nr paramedic exam when the pagers hit for a gsw right down the road. (We are both paid members of a combination department so we still respond off duty to help) Ready for a study break we jump in my truck and go flying down to the house. The pt was obiously doa 12 in the mouth exiting the back of head you get the idea. Anyway we get on the radio and slow everyone down get the police enroute. We are consoling the family and mom heard the shot. She keeps saying I cant get the sound out of my head......Well my partner has a nextel phone that you can download the sound of a .50 caliber firing.....and of course he gets a call. He had to leave the house and yes he has a new ring tone.

2. We have a gentleman with the last name of Head. One day he was dropping a truck off at a unmanned station. I get on the radio and and ask the rescue truck to go by station 4 and get head real quick...COPY THAT RESCUE ENROUTE very enthusastically ......It was in the middle of a training meeting we had to take a 30 min break for everyone to calm down I use unit numbers at all times now

3. My very first pt as a paramedic was a killer. Had a med hx 2 miles long. Abd abscess that needed to be drained every 2 days (he waited 8 days for it this time) Was complaing of SOB and his abd was so distended it was lapping up and over his rib cage. The road was so rough the monitor was full of artifact. Anyway here I am pt is coa x3 gcs x15 we are about 2 mins out. He states my chest just stared to hurt and his eyes roll. (This is from my partner) I start with sir......sir.....SIR....SIR!!!!!! (He said it was a pleading voice) Stand up do a combo sternal rub/pericardial thump and yell out to my partner Son Of A B**ch HE JUST CODED ON ME DAMNIT...I shocked him and he went into asytole. Started CPR all this happened in less than 2 mins. When we get in the er parking area I am waiting for my partner ( A 12 year vet Paramedic) Doing cpr trying to think should I intubate before we bring him in and he opens the back doors and says hang in there I got some guys on the way to help!!!!! The er did get the pt back but the next shift I had an od and I started calling the pts name trying to keep him away and my partner yells back "You start calling him sir Im comming back there" I have never lived that run down.

Hope these weren't too long but had to put the top 3 in thanks for the lighter side of the job

[Michael]

calling the pts name trying to keep him away

Great stories, and would that be AWOL, or awake, Awolfa? Just don't want anyone to think you avoid your patients.

[Awolfa]

LOL awake

Awolfa kinda a short Alphawolf old nik :blob6:

[Michael]

old nik

:shock:

[web:bea304bcb4]http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/o/old_nick.html[/web:bea304bcb4]

[Awolfa]

I sure my ex would think the devil part is right

[Shelbmedic]

Well here we go this is one of those calls. We were dispatched to one of the local nursing homes about 25min away from the Hospital. The staff called in saying the 65y/o male pt was having a diabetic problem. Dispatch says pt is unresponsive staff sates that their meter reads low. We arrived on scene to find the pt sitting in a chair and the on duty RN pouring OJ into his mouth,down his shirt and lap. The pt looked DOA as can be. Right out of the blue I say that poor bastard is dead and she is still trying to feed him.

So the pt was DOA, Pupils fixed Dilated, rigor in the jaw but he was well hydrated!!

[melangel16]

We were called to one of Hamiltons finest nursing homes (scares the crap out of me) for an unconscious diabetic - easy enough right? Well we get there and staff says his sugars were fine this morn, but when they took them before lunch they were getting low - so they waited another 30 min - took it again and they were even lower so they called us.

We arrive to find an older gentleman, unconscious, maintaining airway, in bed and yellow. So we ask - liver failure? They say yes - pallative liver CA.

So we check his sugar it's low - ALS arrives (supervisor), and between her and my partner they start treatment while I go find the staff that has disappeared to get paperwork and a more complete story.

I find them - all 6 of them - at the nursing station. I get the story through numerous questions that the pt was unconscious at 7am (6 hours ago), they took his sugar and it was above normal, so they gave him his insulin - but no food (cause he's unconscious) and just left him.

So I look at them and said "so he was in a coma this morning and you gave him his insulin even though he couldn't eat? What did you think would happen to his blood sugars?" They said "well - we have orders to give it above a certain level"

I look at them - all of them and said "At some point you have to use common sense" They looked at me like I was speaking gibberish - I grabbed the papers and walked back into the pt's room and looked at my supervisor and said "I might be getting a complaint today - will tell you the whole story later" She laughed and the complaint never came.

[hammerpcp]

We were called to one of Hamiltons finest nursing homes (scares the crap out of me) for an unconscious diabetic - easy enough right? Well we get there and staff says his sugars were fine this morn, but when they took them before lunch they were getting low - so they waited another 30 min - took it again and they were even lower so they called us.

We arrive to find an older gentleman, unconscious, maintaining airway, in bed and yellow. So we ask - liver failure? They say yes - pallative liver CA.

So we check his sugar it's low - ALS arrives (supervisor), and between her and my partner they start treatment while I go find the staff that has disappeared to get paperwork and a more complete story.

I find them - all 6 of them - at the nursing station. I get the story through numerous questions that the pt was unconscious at 7am (6 hours ago), they took his sugar and it was above normal, so they gave him his insulin - but no food (cause he's unconscious) and just left him.

So I look at them and said "so he was in a coma this morning and you gave him his insulin even though he couldn't eat? What did you think would happen to his blood sugars?" They said "well - we have orders to give it above a certain level"

I look at them - all of them and said "At some point you have to use common sense" They looked at me like I was speaking gibberish - I grabbed the papers and walked back into the pt's room and looked at my supervisor and said "I might be getting a complaint today - will tell you the whole story later" She laughed and the complaint never came.

Hammerpcp is drafting a formal letter of complaint to add to melangels alreaady thick file..... :wink:

P.S. It's supposed to be a story about something stupid YOU did, but as long as we are telling NH stories......I picked up an elderly gentleman for a fall the other day, he was wailing away and apparently had a history of alzheimers. I asked the RN on scene what his normal level of consciousness is, (in order to assess if there was any changes in his mentation post fall), she replies :"Oh, he is normally conscious". I was glad when this one disappeared from the room.

[MeekoBB]

P.S. It's supposed to be a story about something stupid YOU did, but as long as we are telling NH stories......I picked up an elderly gentleman for a fall the other day, he was wailing away and apparently had a history of alzheimers. I asked the RN on scene what his normal level of consciousness is, (in order to assess if there was any changes in his mentation post fall), she replies :"Oh, he is normally conscious". I was glad when this one disappeared from the room.

Mind you that person probably went back to her collegues to laugh at the stupid question you asked her.