Stupid things you've said on calls

[AnthonyM83]

EMT/FTO walking into the living room for young female with broken leg with family all around, upon seeing her gruesome injury

"Oh sh*t!....ummm, I uh left the rig doors open...I'll be right back"

[Mastabattas]

^ classic

Kind of like when I was in COLLEGE BIOLOGY a girl in the back of the class raised her hand and asked what copulation was.

If we're talking about things said in class...a guy in my EMR course, taking it to be a fireman...and the boy turned out to be my study buddy (still is) and quite smart..said my favourite thing thus far.

In class as we are reviewing the patient assessment sheets so we understand everything that we need to memorize...we get to the pelvic assessment...list of items to check for includes of course..."pubic bone stability"...so buddy puts up his hand:

"where's the pubic bone?"

I'm sitting there stunned...thinking..."Really?!"

So as the teacher is explaining in a slightly awkward fashion because he's actually younger then most of us and sadly a little immature...I put my hand up and speak to buddy saying:

"Sweetie, if you haven't bruised it at least once with some girlfriend, then you ain't doing it right."

Seriously, I love the guy...and he is SMART...and bloody hot too for the record...but yeah...that was one of his many classic moments deserving the traditional pat on the head saying "at least you're cute".

[Medic_Kidd]

OMG! Great idea for a post. I could go on and on about this one..........but I will only tell you about what I do most frequently, especially at four o'clock in the morning. I ask the pt (or family, whoever I'm talking to) a question and then I don't listen to their response. So I end up asking the same question over and over again. I hate to admit it but it is usually the Pt's name. :oops: Please don't tell me I'm the only one who does this. :?

You're not alone, man. I've done this on a daily basis. Not necessarily on calls, but just in general. I don't know why it is, but it's always the name that I miss. Just as long as you don't forget your own name, then I think you'll be alright... lol.

[EMS_GIRL]

On my second shift as an EMR I arrived at a major MVA, after doing my primary survey I started doing my OPQRST and asked the PT. did the pain come on gradually or suddenly. Well we all know the answer to that question! :sign2:

[Robinsnest]

[align=justify:29e5df81fe]LMAO, well I am new to the city, but I have to say, I loved laughing this hard this early in the morning! I am a new Paramedic, and It's nice to know that the stupid stuff I say and do...........WILL NOT CHANGE! LOL I always have to repeat questions, I usually cover by saying "well I have to repeat the question to check your mental status" lol sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. I haven't had the chance for the stupid comment on a call yet, but I know my time or should I say times are comming![/font:29e5df81fe][/align:29e5df81fe]

[katbemeEMT-B]

This was said to a medic that I work with by a patient. Repsnded to a call for an 80 y/o/m with chest pain. Loaded the patient and took vitals. She asked him if he is on any meds. He said no. She asked him if he is on Viagra or the like. He said, "no but I would still like to make love to you. With a rack that nice you gotta be great in bed." Dirty old men.

[JCicco345]

That is awesome. Old people can be funny.

[jmdeastpa]

Had to through my 2 cents in.

I've been in EMS for a LOOOOOOONG time and have said most of what everyone else has said.

My personal favorite was:

Disp. to an uncon. arrived to find an arrest. As my partner and I were starting to work on the gentleman we were trying to get some info from his wife. Everytime we asked her the patients name (we swore) she said "help him" after we both asked her several times we finally told her "we are trying to help him but what's his name" and she goes --"his name is H-A-L-P-I-N"

Boy did we fell like idiots

[bbbrammer]

Running a scenerio in class once my partner was lead medic and during the assesment asked what the heart rate was. When the instructor told him it was 214 my partner looked up at everyone with panic on his face and replied, "Oh Sh*t! Now what do I do?" The class broke up laughing and everyone got a humorous lesson in what you do and do not say in front of patients.

[EMSGeek]

Got a couple things to add in.

First one: Takes place during a training scenario at my corps base. We had an EMT student running a scenario with two helpers who knew things like how to take vitals and hold c-spine.

EMT: "BSI Scene Safety"

Evaluator: "Scene is safe"

EMT: "I'm going to immediately have my helper grab c-spine."

Helper (looking puzzled): "That's in the rig, right? Back compartment?"

Room: Silence.

Room: Laughter.

No, he has not lived that one down yet.

Second one: I was doing ride time for my EMT class and the rig I was with was picking up a PT for an inner facility transport to a Cath lab. While the paramedics were getting their paper work in order I was directed to grab a set of vitals and run through some hx questioning.

I approached the PT and identified myself and my purpose.

Get the vitals done and the PT's wife comes into the room. PT is a 60 something M with an unstable MI.

Wife: "Do you want anything?"

PT: "Yes, but I don't think it would be appropriate in the middle of the ER."

Wife (gasps): "Clearly that heart attack can't be too bad since your sense of humor is fine."

PT: "My sense of humor isn't the only thing that is fine." (PT's eyes are focused a little below her head)

Wife (gasps, again): "I can't take you anywhere. I will meet you at the Cath lab."

PT and Wife exchange goodbyes and she leaves.

PT: "Ya know what?"

Me: "What?"

PT: "I hate to see her leave but boy do I love to watch her go."

Me: "Umm...ah...umm....(I didn't know what to say so I went back to my questioning) Are you on any ED medications?"

PT: "Like Viagra?"

Me: "Yeah."

PT: "Nope, don't need 'em. You can ask my wife. She looses sleep over it, if you know what I am saying."

Dirty old men are funny.