Stupid things you've said on calls

[scratrat]

I worked with someone who is very openly gay and kind of queeny at times.

Dispatch : Security states to use the rear entrance.

My partner : I am intimately familiar with the back door.

I couldn't even help treat the pt because I was laughing so hard.

One of our idiot dispatchers who finally got fired (even after falling asleep on 911)

Dispatch : **** can you repeat.

Unit : Repeats whatever it was they tried to say the first time.

Dispatch : **** can you turn the volume up I can't hear you?

[spenac]

Hey let me try something I read about on emtcity. Hey it could happen

[brentoli]

I still get ribbed at work for asking on a 911 call "where are your chest pains coming from?"

[bestdarnemt]

[/font:0683a25a1c]I am new to this site but I have a story for ya. Me and my partner responded to a MVA with ejection. We rushed over to the pt and proceeded with C-spine and getting the pt over onto thier back because of snoring breathing. I am thinking to myself this is very bad work quickly!! Another responder was working along side of me (not my partner) hollering hang in there buddy!! Hang in there Buddy. We carefully and quickly continue to work and roll the pt over. The entire time the responder next to me is still encouraging the pt to hang in there. As we roll over the pt, "buddy", quickly turned into a response of "Hang in there, ma'am!" "Hang in there, Ma'am!!"

[mrsbull]

Ok I have 2 the first I said

I was doing my ER rotation and got to go into the Cath lab and watch it being done. after 11 hrs of being there ( I stayed late to watch this )

Cath tech: ma'am are you OK ( I guess I was a lil pale)

me : I'm fine just wondering what some of these instruments are for

tech: Well this is for this, this is the balloon this is saline ect

me:(thinking DUH) Well I know what those are for after all it isn't brain surgery

tech just looked @ me so did the cardiologist I was RED !

me thinking OMG did I JUST say that NO dumb ass it IS heart surgery!! :oops:

The second one was during practicals for a medical

me thinking DAMMIT I forgot my watch (I obviously was on vitals)

ME: hey dave gimme your watch

dave :what

me : your watch NOW

Dave : ok

he HANDS me his GLOVE

me: no dumbass your watch

dave yells @ me: HERE

me :dave look at your hand

dave looks

RED as can be he then could not get his watch off !!

WOW needless to say we had to redo that one

That was still funny tho

oh I just thought of #3

seconds before finals the inst says OK you will have 2:05 min for your final

you will have 1 min per question

a gal in class says WE HAVE 205 questions ( she passed ) :roll:

heres your sign !!!

[Redcell19512]

Auto accident. 70 ish year old lady lost control of her car on a wet road and drove up a pretty steep hill covered with grass and ankle to knee high vegitation, some small tree stumps as well (remember that, it'll be important later). So her car is 3/4 of the way up this hill. She's standing outside her car. My partner and I walk up to her and discover she's not hurt. We got her registration and insurance papers out of the car for her and we all started to walk down the hill.

I say: Be careful maam, the ground is pretty slippery. At this point I'm already sliding down the hill on my back heading towards the street as cars are coming round the sharp corner. Luckily I got my arm caught up on one of the tree stumps and stopped myself before I got to the street.

The little old lady walks down with my partner and offers to help me up.

[Code 8 Paramedic]

So I get dispatched for the Cardiac Arrest, I arrive on scene and im greeted by some concerned looking family members... I walk in the house and I see an elderly woman very upset almost in tears... I look to my right and see a fortyish year old woman sitting at a table with her head in her hands... she looks up at me and I ask "where is the patient?" she looks back at me confused now... and says "I am the patient".... and with out missing a beat or having time to think about what was falling out of my mouth, i say, "Your not DEAD?!" She looks back at me and says.."no i have abd pain"

[beckoncall62]

OMG! Great idea for a post. I could go on and on about this one..........but I will only tell you about what I do most frequently, especially at four o'clock in the morning. I ask the pt (or family, whoever I'm talking to) a question and then I don't listen to their response. So I end up asking the same question over and over again. I hate to admit it but it is usually the Pt's name. :oops: Please don't tell me I'm the only one who does this. :?

Trust me-you're not the only one. (Nevermind that I'm replying to this a year later.)

[beckoncall62]

This happened in 1994 when my twins were born. One of my twins was placed in NNIC at the time of their birth due to underdeveloped lungs making it impossible for him to breathe on his own. They moved me into a hospital room so I could be closer to the unit they had him in. It broke my heart going in their everyday to see my precious little baby hooked up to a respirator, an IV in the vein in his head, patches over his eyes( he was also jaundiced and put under the "billie lights") and him trying desparately to cry. On one of my visits, they had him out of his incubator and were examining him. At this point they weren't sure if he was going to make it. He was responding somewhat to the treatment they were giving him. As we were standing there, my son let out a loud screech (which was a good sign). One of the nurses commented on how long his tongue was and how he was going to make some woman very happy some day! Everybody froze and looked over at me to see my reaction. When I started laughing , the doctor and other nurses evidently felt it was safe to laugh. Now, different people would take that a couple different ways- they would get mad and indignant or laugh-like I did. I'll tell you why I reacted the way I did: that woman's comment gave my son a future. It suggested that he was going to make it out of there alive. And he did. He and his brother just turned 13 a couple of weeks ago. So, the moral of the story is: sometimes comments some might see as stupid (and there are some-I'm guilty of a few), others might not be offended by. #-o =D> :hello2:

[Dustdevil]

Damn, Beck! That's a great story!

Too good to waste in the Funny Stuff forum!